


Can't Buy Me Love

by thatsoulforyouisinme



Series: Can't Buy Me Love [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Age Difference, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-19
Updated: 2014-01-19
Packaged: 2018-01-09 06:16:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 46,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1142473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatsoulforyouisinme/pseuds/thatsoulforyouisinme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which both Kurt and Sebastian are terrible at not falling in love and even worse at expressing it. It turns out as well as you might expect. </p><p>Or, the one where Kurt is a 19 year old massage therapist that 31 year old Sebastian propositions for sex but they fall in love instead. It's kind of a disaster because they're both idiots, but it turns out alright in the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2013 Kurtbastian Big Bang, and inspired by a [GKM prompt](http://glee-kink-meme.livejournal.com/28110.html?thread=33383374#t33383374) that I started writing as Klaine, but ended up switching to Kurtbastian after a few scenes. 
> 
> MY ETERNAL GRATTITUDE goes to [Christine](http://bononoh.tumblr.com) for editing and constantly holding my hand and cheering me on and leaving magnificent comments in the google doc. Really, she's just an angel for putting up with me. <3 
> 
> [likearumchocolatesouffle](http://likearumchocolatesouffle.tumblr.com), [homopayno](http://homopayno.tumblr.com), [pepperroxd](http://pepperroxd.tumblr.com) also deserve epically huge shoutouts for cheering me on when I was stuck. I really couldn't have done it without you guys. You're all amazing. 
> 
> I'd also like to think my artist, [hunterclaringstan](http://hunterclaringstan.tumblr.com) for the lovely bit of [art she drew for this fic](http://hunterclaringstan.tumblr.com/post/73846806443/kurtbastian-bigbang-fanart-for-the-lovely-fic) (best viewed during chapter 3), and for the lovely cover she made for the fanmix, which you can find [here on 8tracks](http://8tracks.com/theirresistabledesire/can-t-buy-me-love). 
> 
> God, okay, I'll shut up now and let you read. I hope you enjoy it! :D

A crash course in massage techniques and days spent kneading the backs of boozed out housewives and highly stressed executives at the Westerville country club wasn’t exactly what Kurt had had in mind for life after high school. Getting rejected from NYADA had _sucked_.A lot. He honestly didn’t understand how it had happened after Carmen had been so pleased with his audition. It had taken a while (months) to get over it, and even though he still wanted to go to New York more than anything, NYADA or not, that simply wasn’t going to happen any time soon.

Kurt was trying to be optimistic about the whole situation, to accept his setbacks with grace, but it was all incredibly frustrating. All he’d wanted his whole life was to get the fuck out of Ohio, his big chance had come along and things hadn’t worked out at all. A part of him wondered if the universe was trying to tell him something, if he’d been foolish to hope so hard for things that were never going to happen.

Kurt looked down at his watch and jolted when he realized that it was almost time for his three o’clock appointment. The client, Sebastian Smythe, was new to him, although he was a long time member at the club. Kurt frowned—that probably meant he was a lot older. He didn’t judge anyone of course, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy massaging nearly naked young men more than nearly naked old ones. For one, the young guys tended to be in impeccable shape, and couldn’t help but enjoy rubbing oil all over their beautiful bodies. He felt a bit like a pervert, to be perfectly honest, but Kurt consoled himself by reminding himself that he was only human.

Kurt also hated the way that older clients of all genders tended to hit on him, which was rather irritating since all he could really do was smile and be polite. He’d complained to one of his coworkers about it once but had been told that this was just part of the job; the clients poured way too much money into the club to get reprimanded for making a junior staff member feeling awkward.

Kurt looked at the ID photo in the file so he could know who he was supposed to grab from the waiting room and what he saw gave him pause. Mr. Smythe was clearly one of those guys who aged gracefully, because he really didn’t look like he’d been a member of the club for so long.

As Kurt continued to stare down at the semi-blurry photo, his earlier disappointment about his new client’s age faded away. He couldn’t help but admit that Sebastian was really quite attractive, age aside. He put the file away in a drawer and walked into the waiting room, scanning the dimly lit room. When he finally found Sebastian, his lips parted in mute surprise.

Although he’d been well aware that Sebastian was good looking, that ID photo really hadn’t done him justice. He was possibly the most attractive, well-dressed, sophisticated man Kurt had ever seen. He was glad Sebastian was busy typing away on his phone, because Kurt had definitely been staring and that was incredibly rude. And totally weird.

He cleared his throat as he approached the man and said his name softly to get his attention.

Sebastian’s eyes flickered up from his phone a moment later and Kurt completely forgot what he’d been intending to say next.

Sebastian had the most striking eyes Kurt had ever seen. They were green, sharp, calculating, and absolutely gorgeous. Everything about this man, from his undoubtedly expensive tailored suit, his designer watch and shoes, and his impossibly long legs was like something out of one of Kurt’s most glamorous wet dreams.

Kurt realized he’d been standing there too long without saying anything and shook his head to clear it.

“Are you ready?” he asked after a moment, trying to be polite and not stare or be really insanely creepy.

Sebastian’s lips curved into a smile that Kurt didn’t quite know how to label. His eyes narrowed a little, then swept down Kurt’s body, very slowly.

It seemed as though he was checking Kurt out, which was absurd. Kurt was skinny, and awkward, and wearing his work uniform (kakhis and a polo, _ugh)_. But still, the way Sebastian was looking at him made Kurt feel hot all over. Honestly, he wanted to rip all of his clothes off or kiss Sebastian or _something._

Sebastian’s mouth twitched a little, like he found something funny and wasn’t going to let anyone else in on the secret. It made Kurt feel like Sebastian knew what he was thinking. Kurt sure hoped not. That would only end in profound embarrassment.

Finally, Sebastian spoke. “I absolutely am.”  

“What?” Kurt blurted. He didn’t even remember the last thing he’d said and had no idea what Sebastian was responding to.

Sebastian rose an eyebrow, and then his smile grew even wider. “Ready? For my massage.”

“Oh.” Kurt blushed and averted his eyes. “Right. Yes. If you would follow me, please.”

Sebastian stood up and Kurt was taken aback by how tall he was. Kurt had been ogling Sebastian’s legs earlier and had concluded from their length that Sebastian was tall, but he hadn’t been prepared for Sebastian to be at least four inches taller than him. That simple fact was much hotter than it had a right to be. Kurt remembered that he had a job to do and spun on his heel.  He had to force himself to walk at a normal pace as he led Sebastian the short distance down the hallway.

He opened the door and allowed Sebastian to precede him into the room. Sebastian’s shoulder brushed gently, fleetingly against Kurt’s chest and he was so close that Kurt could smell him, and, _fuck._ Sebastian smelled so good that Kurt actually felt his mouth water. He swallowed hard and tried not to think about how ridiculously attracted he was to this guy he’d only just met.

It really didn’t help that the next thing Kurt had to say involved Sebastian taking off his clothes, but he took a deep breath and made himself say it.

“Please undress to the level of your comfort. You can start on your stomach and cover yourself with the sheet. Please take your time, and I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Sebastian nodded at him coolly, and Kurt backed out of the room, shutting the door and pressing his back to the wall outside. He looked at the clock on the wall, so he could know when he should try knocking on the door. Five minutes. Five minutes to calm the fuck down and get over himself and stop being so weird. He felt like his insides were melting, and his face was burning and for some reason his heart was beating a lot faster than it should. His hands were sweating, and he couldn’t stop thinking about how _good_ Sebastian had smelled.

Kurt suddenly realized that he was getting a little hard, and he groaned in frustration. This was _so_ not the time. He had a job to do and he really couldn’t afford to mess this up. Massage therapy was the best job Kurt could get right now, and he had a plan, just a few more years here and he’d have enough money to buy his way out of Ohio.

Unfortunately, none of these very serious thoughts did anything to cool Kurt’s arousal. He couldn’t ever remember wanting _anyone_ so much in his whole life, not even when he’d had that embarrassingly huge crush on his friend Blaine for most of high school. Back then it had all been flowers and candy kisses, dreams of ridiculously romantic dates and hand holding, never anything like this. Sure he’d been attracted to Blaine, who he idolized and adored, but he’d never gotten hard just from being around him. This was _ridiculous._ He had to get a grip on himself, if only to keep from embarrassing himself over the next hour.

Kurt took a few deep, calming breaths and resolved to go in there and act normal. He glanced up at the clock and cursed to himself when he realized he’d been standing in the hallway far longer than he’d intended.

He turned quickly to the door and knocked on it, opening it just a little so he could be heard.

“Are you ready for me?” he asked.

There was a soft chuckle, then, “I should think so.”

Kurt had no idea why Sebastian hadn’t just said yes, but he entered the room and shut the door behind him. Everything seemed close and hot, somehow worse with the door closed and them alone like this. Sebastian looked insanely good laying there, just the hint of his upper back and shoulder visible above the sheet. His fingers literally itched to touch and he licked his lips a little. But he was acting normal, so he totally wasn’t going to stare. Besides there’d be plenty of time to do that while he was working on Sebastian.

“Is there anything you’d like me to focus on in particular?” Kurt asked. “Any problem areas?”

“My shoulders and lower back,” Sebastian answered. “Sitting in a desk hunched over a computer for hours each day really puts a strain on those areas.”

Kurt nodded, then remembered Sebastian couldn’t see him. “Of course. If there’s nothing else, I’ll begin.”

“Please do.”

Kurt approached the table, adjusted it a little to make it the right height and took a deep breath, hands hovering for a moment before he finally made contact. He pressed lightly at first, rubbing his hands gently down over the sheet to get Sebastian used to his touch. Usually, he stopped just below mid-back, but he couldn’t resist sliding his hands a little lower, to just above the swell on Sebastian’s ass. He quickly pulled his hands away and busied them with peeling the sheet back and tucking it around Sebastian’s hips.

He took a moment to appreciate the muscles in Sebastian’s back before reaching for the lotion and getting to work.

“How’s the pressure?” Kurt asked after a moment.

“Could you do it harder, please?”  

Kurt put a bit more of his weight into his touch and bit his lip when Sebastian let out a little grunt. It was such a…dirty sound, even though this situation was completely innocent.

“Like that?” Kurt asked, his voice a little breathy.

“Yes,” Sebastian said. “That’s very good.”  

Usually, his male clients didn’t talk much while he worked on them, so Kurt was a little startled when Sebastian spoke a few minutes later.

“You know, you never did give me your name,” he said.

“Oh,” Kurt said, laughing a little. “I’m so sorry. My name is Kurt.”  

“Well, Kurt, you’re very good at this. You have much stronger hands than most of the other people who’ve worked on me.”

“My dad’s a mechanic and I grew up working with my hands, that’s probably why.”

Kurt could see the hint of a smile on Sebastian’s face as he replied. “Well, you have the softest hands of any mechanic I’ve ever met.”

“Thank you, I think.”

“Oh, it’s _definitely_ a compliment.”  

Kurt really didn’t know what to say to that, partially because the way Sebastian’s voice had gone deeper had Kurt blushing again, and partially because the only thing that came to mind was ‘thank you’, which he’d already said. So he just kept working, and winced sympathetically when he reached Sebastian’s shoulders.

“You’re right, you do carry a lot of tension here,” he remarked as he attempted to work out some of it out by really digging in deep.

The added pressure had the effect of loosening the muscle, but it also made Sebastian make a number of noises that were really, _really_ hot.  Maybe if he could get Sebastian to talk again he’d stop making them.

“So, what do you do?” Kurt asked. He had a pretty good idea, Sebastian looked like a businessman or lawyer, but people usually talked a lot if you asked them about work, and it definitely would be better if Kurt spoke as little as possible during this hour.

“I’m a lawyer. Smythe, Sterling and Duval, perhaps you’ve heard of it?”  

“Yeah,” Kurt said with a bit of a laugh. He’d driven past the building only a million times in his life, seen the ads on his TV since he was a kid.  

“Well, it’s the family business,” Sebastian said lightly.

“Ah. Well, that’s a much more glamorous family business than a tire shop,” he commented.

Kurt couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. If there was a ton of extra money, Kurt could have just gone to New York even without NYADA.

“So, do you want to go into the family business as well?”

Kurt couldn’t stop himself from letting out a bit of a laugh. “No. I actually plan on moving to New York.”

“What for?”

Kurt wasn’t sure how to answer. He knew that most people would scoff at the idea of going into performing or fashion, so he really didn’t want to say that.

“Well, New York is a city where anything can happen,” Kurt said after a moment’s consideration. “It just seems exciting, and I’ve kind of always wanted to get out of here.”

“Guess we have that in common, then. I got the hell out of here the second I finished high school.”

Kurt hummed in response, and drew the sheet back up over Sebastian’s shoulders so he could work on Sebastian’s lower body.   _Fuck he’s fit…_ Kurt thought as he uncovered Sebastian’s legs.

Sebastian’s shoulders were shaking, and he was laughing and Kurt didn’t realize why until Sebastian said, “Why thank you. I run daily.”

“Oh, God…did I say that out loud?” Kurt asked, hands frozen on Sebastian’s ankle.

“You did,” Sebastian confirmed, his voice rich with amusement.

“Oh, God…I’m…I’m so sorry, Mr. Smythe,” Kurt rushed out in a horrified whisper.

He removed his hands and sank down on the stool that was sitting just to the side of the table. Sebastian pushed himself up on his elbows turned his head to look at Kurt.  Kurt glued his eyes to the floor. No way in _hell_ he was looking at Sebastian after he’d just embarrassed himself like that.

“I’m really, really sorry. If I’ve made you uncomfortable…I can get someone else, or get you a refund, or, or—“

“Kurt,” Sebastian said firmly. “Please, calm down. I’m not uncomfortable at all. I always appreciate a compliment.”

Kurt dared to peek up at Sebastian’s face, and when he saw that he was smiling, Kurt sighed in relief. It would have been really, _really_ bad if he’d had to explain to his boss or someone else what had happened.

Kurt exhaled shakily. “So…Mr. Smythe…would you like to end here, or, uhm, what would you like me to do?”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Just finish what you were doing. And please, call me Sebastian.”

Kurt nodded and stood up.  “Thanks for being nice about it; I do apologize—it was very unprofessional.” He spoke formally, trying to recover some of his dignity. It didn’t work. He was still totally embarrassed.

“Perhaps,” Sebastian conceded, “But I really, really don’t mind, given that I’ve been thinking the same things about you.”

The room suddenly felt very, very hot, and had the collar of Kurt’s polo gotten tighter in the past five seconds?

“I—I’m not sure what to say,” Kurt choked out. He’d gone from being turned on to embarrassed to flattered in a very short period of time and the constant flow of emotions was disorienting.

Sebastian’s shoulders shook as he chuckled deep in his throat. “That’s precious, considering that you’ve practically been drooling since you laid eyes on me.”

“Oh, God,” Kurt whispered. “I’m so sorry, I—“  Had he really been that obvious?

“Again, you need to calm down,” Sebastian said soothingly. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t mind that you like what you see. It’s quite flattering.”

Kurt nodded, still unsure of what to say or do.

“And you, Kurt, are a very attractive young man. Surely you know that.”

“Uhm,” Kurt knew he was supposed to say yes, but it wouldn’t feel genuine on his part. “I…”

“Believe me, you are,” Sebastian said. “There’s no way I couldn’t have noticed you.”

“Thanks,” Kurt whispered.

“Good. Now, there’s about twenty minutes left in this hour…let’s not waste them.”

“I beg your pardon?”  Kurt knew his mouth was probably hanging open, but good lord, what Sebastian had just said sounded so…suggestive. Especially after the conversation they’d just had.

Sebastian laughed, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “You’re a very good massage therapist—I meant it when I said you had great hands. I’d love for you to finish.”

“Oh. Uh. Yes. Of course. I could do that.”

He took a few deep breaths to calm himself, then put his hands back on Sebastian’s skin, which seeming burning hot under his hands now. He made quick work of Sebastian’s legs, because he needed to make sure he got to the rest of Sebastian’s body before the hour was up.

He asked Sebastian to turn over, and stifled a gasp when he saw that Sebastian definitely hadn’t been lying about his attraction to Kurt. Kurt blushed and averted his eyes, hoping that if he didn’t look he could avoid humiliating himself for the millionth time this hour. Sebastian smirked at Kurt’s obvious embarrassment, but said nothing. He simply closed his eyes and let Kurt finish in flustered, but grateful silence.

 

* * *

****

It had been nearly two weeks since that day, and Kurt was starting to wonder if the entire appointment had just been a figment of his sex-starved imagination. It just didn’t make sense that a man that attractive would be into Kurt when no one else had been paying attention for Kurt’s entire life. If Kurt was actually hot enough to draw in a guy like that, he wouldn’t be a 19 year old virgin, now would he?

As much as the encounter had left him shaky, unsettled and unsatisfied, Kurt couldn’t stop thinking about. He’d gone home and jerked off at least twice after the appointment, and Sebastian had been the sole subject of his fantasies ever since. Thoughts of how that appointment could have ended if he were bolder consumed him. Images of them naked and twisted together always found their way into Kurt’s dreams.

But Kurt was probably never going to see Sebastian again, so he needed to get over it and let the thoughts fade away. Even if he did see him again, it wouldn’t be good. The temptation to try something he shouldn’t at work would be too strong, and Kurt really needed this job.

Kurt took a breath and rubbed his hands over his eyes. He’d missed his opportunity to get coffee at lunch and he was exhausted. He only had one scheduled appointment for the afternoon, and hopefully no one had called in while he’d been gone. A look at the appointment book made him sigh—someone had called and specifically requested him. He looked at the name and his throat went dry.

_Well, fuck._

Of _course_ Sebastian had booked an appointment with him right after Kurt had resolved to put him out of his mind. The afternoon both dragged on forever and seemed to go by too quickly as he waited for it to be three o’clock. As the hour neared, Kurt realized that the nervousness he was feeling wasn’t anxiety, but anticipation.

He was so screwed.

Even so, he’d been thinking of what he was going to say, how he was going to act perfectly normal and pretend that the last time had never happened. The only reason Sebastian was coming back was because he appreciated Kurt’s skills in the art of massage, and so Kurt was going to act like a goddamn professional.

It was decided, and he wasn’t going to deviate from the plan, not one bit.

In spite of that, Kurt had to force himself not to run out to the waiting room when it was time.  When he saw Sebastian his stomach twisted up tight with want and his knees felt weak because, somehow, Sebastian was even hotter than Kurt remembered.  

Sebastian looked up, and a slow, wicked smile bloomed across his face. Kurt felt himself blushing, but reminded himself of his plan.

“Welcome back, Mr. Smythe. This way, please.”

Sebastian quirked an eyebrow at his formal tone and neutral face, but pocketed his phone and followed Kurt down the hall. Aside from the smile and the eyebrow raise, Sebastian seemed content to pretend like that last massage hadn’t happened either. Kurt felt equally relieved and disappointed, but it was far easier this way.

The hour passed as planned, no flirting, barely any talking, just like it would with anyone else. Kurt slowly began to relax as he lost himself in his work, in miles of tanned skin and muscles that gave way to his touch. When it was over, he stepped outside to allow Sebastian the chance to get dressed, and once about 10 minutes had passed, he cracked the door open to ask Sebastian if he was ready to be escorted back out to the lobby.

To his great surprise, he was yanked into the room and the door was clicking shut behind him before he could even think to say anything about it.  

Kurt stared at Sebastian in silent shock for a moment before he got his senses back. “Mr. Smythe, what are you doing?” he asked breathlessly.

“Making you a proposition,” Sebastian said, taking a step towards Kurt.

Kurt’s eyes widened as he took a step back. “I beg your pardon?”

“You heard me.”

Another step forward, and Kurt stepped back only to find that the door was blocking him. He had nowhere else to go, but if he was being honest, he didn’t really want to escape.

He pressed himself against the wall, and gasped as Sebastian invaded his space even more. Sebastian put a hand on the door next to Kurt’s head, and Kurt held his breath.

“So I’ve had this problem ever since the first time I saw you.”

“Uhm…okay?”

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” Sebastian murmured.

“R-really?” Kurt stuttered. In spite of the butterflies that had taken up residence in his stomach, Kurt felt pleased that he wasn’t the only person who couldn’t get that appointment out of their mind.

“Mmm,” Sebastian hummed. “And I get the feeling you’ve been having the same problem.”

Kurt averted his eyes, and felt the tips of his ears burning. “I, uhm…do I have to answer that?” he asked shakily.

Sebastian laughed softly. “Of course not. But I know you have. I’m going to put this as simply as possible. I want you. I think we could have a really good time together.”

“What do you mean?” Kurt asked, even though he had the feeling he already knew.

Sebastian quirked an eyebrow. “You know _exactly_ what I mean.”

“Oh God,” Kurt breathed. “I…I can’t. I work here. You’re a client, and—- what are you doing?” Sebastian had begun to move closer, so much so that Kurt could feel the heat radiating off his body.

“I’m not going to tell anyone, don’t worry.”

“But, I…” Kurt felt his chest rising and falling far faster than it should.

“You’re breathing so fast,” Sebastian murmured, his voice low and gravelly in a way that only made Kurt’s breath come faster. “Do I make you nervous?”

“Y-yes,” Kurt breathed.

“Do I frighten you?”

Kurt shook his head. _It’s just that I can’t think with you so close to me._ He didn’t dare say that, though.

“Good,” Sebastian purred. “But I want you to be less nervous around me. Would it help if we had coffee sometime?” He stepped back and reached for his jacket.

One minute Sebastian was in kissing distance, and the next he was shrugging into his suit jacket and asking Kurt out for coffee. It was more than a little disconcerting. “It might,” Kurt said finally.

“Excellent.” Sebastian pulled out his wallet and pressed a crisp white business card into Kurt’s hand. He also took out his phone and gave it to Kurt to put his number in. “Now we have each other’s numbers.”  

“Uh…yeah. We…we do.”

Kurt had no idea what to do now, and just stared at Sebastian, who was looking back at him, lips twitching in what was clearly a struggle not to laugh.

“Kurt,” he said gently. “The door?”

It took Kurt a moment to catch on, and he blushed when he realized that he’d been blocking the door in addition to staring at Sebastian like an idiot. “Damn it,” he swore under his breath. “I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t be,’ Sebastian said as he opened the door.

Kurt made to follow him out, but Sebastian waved him off. “I’ll see myself out. It looks like you need a minute.” And with a wink that made Kurt blush even more, he was gone.

 

* * *

****

Kurt felt like he was going to throw up. For one, he’d never actually met someone at a coffee shop for a…well he couldn’t really call it a date, could he? His thoughts were interrupted when a coffee cup clicked down on the table in front of him.

“Hello, Kurt,” Sebastian said politely as he sat down gracefully across from Kurt.

“Uhm, hi,” Kurt managed after a moment. He took a long sip of his drink and hoped Sebastian would start talking so Kurt wouldn’t have to start.

Sebastian kicked off with a bit of polite small talk, but that didn’t last very long. Sebastian set his coffee cup down and folded his hands on the table in front of him.

“So, Kurt. I’m really glad that you decided to meet me for coffee. But you always seem so nervous around me, and I’d like to change that. So what can I do to make you more comfortable?”

“It’s just…you always look at me,” Kurt blurted.

Sebastian rose an eyebrow. “How could I not? Besides, people must look at you all the time.”

“Uhm…not the way you do.”  

Sebastian’s head tilted to the side curiously. “And how exactly is it that I look you?”

Kurt turned bright red. “I…like…like you want to…tear my clothes off,” he choked out.

His words registered in his head and Kurt felt the embarrassment he was constantly feeling around Sebastian start to rear its ugly head again.

“Oh God…I can’t believe I just—ugh,” he groaned.  he buried his face in his hands.

“Hey, don’t do that. You didn’t say anything wrong. In fact, I thought it was…very cute, really.”

Kurt peeked out between his fingers, and when he saw that Sebastian seemed to be telling the truth, he put his hands down.  

“Much better,” Sebastian said soothingly. “Although, I think you should know that you’re absolutely right. Except that I want to do a hell of a lot more to you than tear your clothes off.”

“Why?” Kurt asked. Sebastian’s interest in him really didn’t make sense.

“How many times do I have to tell you that you’re fucking gorgeous, Kurt?”

Kurt stared down at his palms, tracing the faint pink lines there with his eyes. Finally he said, “I think you…I just don’t think I’m who you want.”

“I’m pretty sure I do want you. Why do you think I don’t when I keep telling you I do?”

Kurt rubbed sweaty palms over his jeans. He might as well tell Sebastian the truth. “It’s just…I’ve never ever…you know.”

Sebastian paused, then scratched almost unconsciously at his jaw. “You mean to tell me you’re a virgin?”

Kurt nodded tightly and fiddled with his coffee cup to keep his hands busy.

“You’re kidding me.”

“I’m really not,” Kurt said quietly.

There was another moment of silence and Kurt was sure that Sebastian was no longer interested and just trying to find a nice way to tell him that.

“Maybe I should go? I’m sorry to have wasted your time.” Kurt shifted to stand up, but Sebastian’s hand on his wrist stopped him.

“Don’t go.” He tilted his head to the side, considering Kurt carefully. “Do you really think that being a virgin is so terrible?”

Kurt shrugged. “It’s just—I’m…19. I feel like I’m a bit behind the curve, here.”

Sebastian’s eyes were sparkling, and it was clear that he was trying not to laugh. Kurt pulled his hand away, suddenly feeling very young and silly. Sebastian saw the change in Kurt’s eyes and his face softened.

“Hey, I’m not making fun of you. It’s just, you act like 19 is terribly old or something.”

“Well, it is,” Kurt insisted.

Sebastian shook his head. “It’s not, I promise you. There’s no prize for losing your virginity first. And most people’s first times suck because everyone is so young and clueless. But it doesn’t have to be like that for you.”

“What…what do you mean?” Kurt asked breathlessly.

A slow, lazy grin spread across Sebastian’s face, and he reached for Kurt’s hand again. He turned it over, his fingers playing delicately over Kurt’s smooth palms. The slight tickling sensation made Kurt shudder.

“Well,” Sebastian said, his voice a low, seductive purr. “I definitely know what I’m doing. I could make it so good for you.”

“ _Oh,”_ Kurt gasped. He’d been too busy being embarrassed about his virginity to remember that he was in this coffee shop with this man because Sebastian wanted to have sex with him.

“Well?” Sebastian asked. “Will you give me a chance to show you how good it can be?”

Kurt couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You really still want to?”

His thumb was tracing distracting circles on Kurt’s palm and Kurt swallowed hard.

“Absolutely. I’d be lying if I said the idea of…teaching you wasn’t appealing.”

“If I say yes…how is this going to work?”

“I’m not going to invite you out to the car and get it over in the backseat if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Kurt laughed in spite of himself, and felt much calmer once the giggles subsided.

“This can work however you want it to,” Sebastian said. “I was thinking that you could start by having dinner with me this weekend.”

That gave Kurt pause. He hadn’t been expecting a dinner invitation, but he found that he liked the idea. “Okay,” he replied with a smile. “Dinner sounds really nice, actually.”

“Great.” Sebastian looked down at his watch, then back at Kurt. “I only have about twenty minutes before I have to get back to the office, but…why don’t you tell me something about yourself?”

“Like what?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Sebastian, said. “Something really deep and personal. Like your favorite ice cream flavor.” He winked, and Kurt couldn’t stop himself from laughing just a little too loudly.


	2. Chapter 2

Kurt couldn’t stop pacing. Or checking his watch. Sebastian was going to be here any moment now, but it also so happened that Burt might just be coming home from work earlier than planned and Kurt really didn’t want Sebastian to cross paths with his father.

As far as Burt knew, Kurt was going out with friends from work. The lie had slipped out easily—Kurt got the feeling that Burt wouldn’t approve of Kurt going out with someone so much older. Even Kurt didn’t know exactly how old Sebastian was, but definitely older than his dad would be expecting for his first sort-of date.

So, Sebastian needed to get here as soon as possible, both to avoid that awkward situation, and to prevent Kurt from being caught out in a lie. No matter what else might happen, Burt would be the most disappointed in Kurt for lying. Guilt was still twisting his gut when the doorbell rang. Kurt hurried to open the door, eager to be safely gone before his father arrived home. The sight of Sebastian standing there, hands in his pockets, made all of his worries disappear.

His first thought was that he was so nervous that he just might vomit because _ohmygod, this is actually happening_. His second was that Sebastian looked incredible. Kurt had seen his body, touched it all over, but he’d yet to see Sebastian outside of the suits he wore to work, and _wow._ Sebastian really knew how to dress, which only made Kurt even moreattracted to him. Kurt was aware that he was staring and that his mouth had dropped a little, but he couldn’t think of something to say that wasn’t “ _Dear God you are ridiculously attractive.”_

Sebastian tilted his head, and Kurt couldn’t see his eyes behind the sunglasses, but Kurt was sure they were sparkling with amusement. “Hello? Are you in there?”

“Ugh, I’m sorry,” Kurt mumbled, slapping a palm over his hot, red face. “You uhm--it’s just…you look really great is all. Also, hi.”

Sebastian chuckled, and waved his hand dismissively. “Thank you. I’ll have to tell my stylist that you approve the next time I see her.”

Kurt’s mouth dropped open. “You have a personal stylist?”

Sebastian shrugged. “Once, one of my friends told me that I dressed like an overgrown fratboy, and pushed me on a personal stylist. It worked out pretty great, so…I just kept doing it.”

Kurt burst out laughing the minute Sebastian said ‘overgrown frat boy.’ “Sorry,” he said, trying to calm himself.  “I just can’t picture that. Or believe it.” And Kurt really couldn’t see it. There’s no way someone this stylish, this handsome, could look terrible in anything.

“Well, you’d better,” Sebastian said. “When I was in highschool, I used to wear two polo shirts together and popped _both_ of the collars.”

Kurt began to laugh again. “Well, then maybe the stylist was a good idea.”

Sebastian’s lips twitched like he wanted to smile.  “So. Ready to go? We’ve got reservations.”

Kurt swallowed, nodded, and stepped outside, closing and locking the door. It was only once he was on the porch that he realized that there was a _Porsche_ parked in the driveway. He stopped short and sucked in a breath. “Holy shit,” he whispered.

Sebastian placed his hand on the small of Kurt’s back, chuckling a little as guided Kurt towards the car. “Maybe I’ll let you drive it some time,” he teased.

“Seriously??” Kurt exclaimed, unable to stop himself from bouncing on his toes a little.

Sebastian smiled. “Maybe if you’re good.” He winked, and his smile widened when Kurt blushed.

Once they were in the car and on their way to…wherever they were going, Kurt realized that Sebastian kept sneaking glances at him.

“What?” Kurt asked once he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Nothing,” Sebastian said, but it didn’t sound particularly genuine to Kurt.

Kurt tilted his head, eyes narrowing. “Somehow I don’t believe you.”

Sebastian’s let out a sigh. “All right, I”ll tell you, but you have to promise not to laugh at me.”

“As if I could,” Kurt muttered. “Not after I’ve embarrassed myself in front of you like twenty times.”

Sebastian chuckled. “I thought it was all…very…amusing. And endearing. So don’t be embarrassed, okay?”

“Easy for you to say, you’re not the one who did all of that stuff. Anyway, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong its just, I realized that I haven’t taken someone out for dinner in a rather long time.”

“Oh,” Kurt said in a small voice.

That was kind of surprising. Sebastian seemed like the sort of person who could get anyone he wanted to do anything he wanted them to. But then something else occurred to him.

“So why did you ask me to dinner then? You could have probably…just invited me over if all you wanted was…you know.”

Sebastian actually blushed at that, and Kurt felt just a little smug. “You know, this is the first time I’ve ever made you blush,” Kurt said, a wide smile stretching his lips.  

“Oh, shut up,” Sebastian said good-naturedly. “Anyway, I asked you to dinner because…we could talk and get to know each other. And I thought it would be fun.”

Something about the way that Sebastian said it made Kurt feel like Sebastian didn’t have fun often, which was kind of crazy. He definitely had enough money for it. Kurt decided that now wasn’t the time to ask, though.

“Well. I think so, too. I hope so. Since, I’ve n—“ Kurt cut himself off. He’d been intending to at least pretend that he’d been on a date before. He hadn’t done so much as hold someone’s hand _,_ but he didn’t want Sebastian to know that, didn’t want to seem like a total child.

“You’ve never been on a date?” Sebastian asked, easily figuring out when Kurt had been intending to say.

“Well. No,” Kurt confirmed, then looked down, suddenly completely fascinated by the texture of the dashboard.

“Guess I’ll have to make this extra special then,” Sebastian said lightly, and when Kurt looked up, Sebastian winked at him.

“Thanks,” Kurt said quietly. “So…where are we going?”

“You’ll see. I have the feeling that you’re really going to like it, though.”

 

* * *

 

They’d ended up pulling up in front of one of the most expensive restaurants in town. Kurt never thought he’d ever go in this place, even though he drove by it at least twice a week. Dinner passed by quickly, the conversation flowing easily between them. The food was delicious and it turned out that they had quite a bit in common. It was easy to talk about things he liked, so he forgot all about being awkward and nervous until they were leaving the restaurant with desserts in to-go boxes.

Sebastian had invited him to come over for dessert and drinks, and Kurt had accepted. It honestly seemed like Sebastian really did just want to hang out more, that it wasn’t just some flimsy excuse to get Kurt in his bed tonight. At the same time, Kurt basically knew what Sebastian looked like naked, and they were going to be alone in Sebastian’s house.

Even though Sebastian had made it clear he was all about taking this slow, Kurt knew that he’d go pretty far if Sebastian wanted to. Thoughts of what he might do, what he might let Sebastian do to him had Kurt fidgeting and blushing to the tips of his ears.

Sebastian picked up on that immediately and his hand paused where it was about to turn the key in the ignition. “Kurt, are you alright?” he asked gently.

“Uh, yeah, I’m totally fine,” Kurt answered unconvincingly, his voice even higher than usual.

Sebastian chuckled quietly. “Somehow, I don’t believe you. You know, you don’t have to come home with me, or even if you do, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I promise I won’t push you.”

“I want to,” Kurt breathed, shifted awkwardly in his seat. “I really do, trust me.”  

Sebastian sighed. “Okay. You have to promise me you’ll say something the minute you think its too much or you want out. I won’t be mad, I swear.”

“I know,” Kurt answered. As he said it he realized that he believed it fully—for some reason he couldn’t quite explain, he already trusted Sebastian a little. “And I still want to come over.”

Sebastian smiled, and turned the car on. “Okay.”

Sebastian turned the radio on after they’d pulled out of the parking space and Kurt was actually grateful that he didn’t have to come up with things to talk about. It was quite nice just sitting there and watching the sky grow darker as they sped through the dark.

The latest Katy Perry single came on, and Kurt couldn’t stop himself from humming along, and then singing quietly.

“You’ve got a beautiful voice,” Sebastian commented when the song went off.

Kurt blushed. Apparently, he hadn’t been as quiet as he thought. “Thanks. Honestly…that’s why I want to go to New York so badly. I know its kind of a crazy dream, but—“

“Don’t even go there,” Sebastian said, cutting him off. “If you have a dream, you should go for it. You owe it to yourself to try.”  

“Well, I did once. And it didn’t really work out.”

“But maybe it will,” Sebastian insisted. “You’re way too young to give up.”

A song that had been really popular a few years ago came on the radio, and Sebastian’s face practically lit up. “Oh!” he said excitedly. “I love this crazy song, turn it up!”

Kurt did, smiling at Sebastian’s enthusiasm. Sebastian smiled at him a lot, but he’d never seen him smile like this before. But Kurt forgot completely about Sebastian’s smile when starting singing because Sebastian sounded _amazing._

Kurt joined in when the song hit the chorus, and was secretly thrilled that they sounded great together. Musical chemistry was totally on his list of turn ons.

“So, you’re pretty good,” Kurt said once the song was over.

Sebastian gave a small shrug. “Please don’t laugh, but I was in show choir in high school. The Dalton Academy Warblers.”

Kurt’s mouth dropped. “No way! I was also in show choir and sorry I’m not sorry, but we beat the Warblers almost every time we competed against them.”

“That’s because they don’t have me on lead anymore,” Sebastian teased.

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Of _course_ you were the lead singer. You’re kind of like, ridiculously good at everything and super hot and I don’t get it. You’re just too good to be true.”

“You’re idealizing me, Kurt. I wasn’t always so comfortable with myself and my life, and I’m not perfect now. Growing up was...difficult, in some ways, and I’ve done a lot of crazy things that I’m not particularly proud of. I’m not sure you’d like me very much if you met me when I was your age.”

Kurt shrugged and was about to reply when he realized they were starting to slow down in front of a tall building. They parked in the garage, and Kurt felt a little flutter when Sebastian insisted on opening the door for him and carrying their bag from the restaurant.

There was silence while they waited for the elevator, and once they were inside, Kurt felt like he ought to say something, but didn’t know what.

“So…” he began.

“So,” Sebastian repeated, the left corner of his lips turning up into a small closed mouth smile.

Kurt bit at at his bottom lip as he tried to come up with something to say. Maybe conversation had been a terrible idea.

“God, don’t do that,” Sebastian breathed.

It took a second for Kurt to realize what Sebastian was talking about and he let his lip slip through his teeth. “Oh. Uhm. I’m sorry, is it annoying or something?”

“God no,” Sebastian said with a laugh. “It just makes me want to kiss you.”

Kurt’s lips parted in surprise and before he could ask why Sebastian hadn’t, the door was opening into a hallway with very few doors. Sebastian’s must live in a very large apartment, if there were only four of them on the entire floor.

“Would you?” Sebastian asked as he held out the bag from the restaurant. Kurt took it and waited for Sebastian to dig his keys out and unlock the door.

“Well, this is my humble abode,” Sebastian said once he’d shut the door behind him.

“I don’t know that I’d call it humble,” Kurt breathed. “It’s amazing. It’s beautiful.”

“Thanks. Although, I can’t take credit for it, the place came like this. But its nothing compared to my place in New York.”

“You have an apartment in New York?” Kurt stared at him, surprised and more than a little jealous.

“I didn’t tell you?” Sebastian said, sounding surprised. “I thought I had?”

“No…”

“Well. How about you get comfy on the couch and I’ll get us some plates and drinks and I’ll tell you about it over cheesecake.”

Kurt nodded and walked into the spacious living room. He curled up on one end of the couch and pulled his phone out to see if there were any messages. Unsurprisingly, there weren’t any. There wasn’t much on facebook either, just a quick message from Rachel demanding a Skype call some time this weekend. She always said things like that and then never actually made time for the call.

“Someone important?” Sebastian asked as he came in carrying wine glasses, plates, silverware and a bottle of wine in his hands. Kurt was a little terrified Sebastian would drop it all.

Kurt shook his head. “Do you need help with that?”

“Nah, I got it.”

Kurt waited patiently while Sebastian organized everything on the coffee table, and was surprised when Sebastian chose to sit on the floor instead of the couch.

“So, how much do you know about wine?” Sebastian asked as he took everything out of the boxes and set It on the plates. They’d gotten a slice of cheesecake and a slice of chocolate cake to share.

Kurt shrugged. "I haven't had much wine since I'm....you know, under 21, but what wine I did have came from a box at a Fourth of July cookout and it was warm and _really_ pink, so..."

Sebastian chuckled at that. "That's hardly anything to form your opinion on."

He uncorked the bottle with ease and started to pour it carefully into the glasses he’d brought from the kitchen.

Kurt reached for his glass but Sebastian stopped him. "Not yet--you've got to let it breathe.”

“Oh. Okay. Didn’t know that.” Kurt imagined there were a million things he didn’t know.

“Well, now you do,”  Sebastian said softly, and the sound of his voice made something stir deep inside of him.

There were many things about Sebastian that Kurt found attractive, but it was always Sebastian’s voice that made Kurt melt. There was just something about it, deep, sometimes smooth, sometimes gravelly, always so, so sexy.  He tore his eyes away from Sebastian’s face and grabbed a fork so he could start in on a bite of cheesecake.

“Good?” Sebastian asked.

“Mmhm,” Kurt hummed, eyes fluttering shut. It really, really was good. He wasn’t exactly an expert on cheesecake, but he’d had and made enough of them to know that this was pretty top quality stuff.

“So,” Kurt said in between bites, “tell me about New York.”

Kurt had learned over dinner that Sebastian had been living in Miami for the past five years, working on building up a new branch of the law firm there. He was in Ohio now because he was turning that firm over to one of his business partner’s cousins, and had wanted to take a bit of a break before moving up to New York to oversee operations at Smythe, Sterling and Duval’s newest location.

“Wow,” Kurt said, taking a sip of wine (which was totally better than the crap he’d had at that cookout). “That’s kind of amazing. I’m so jealous.”

“Don’t be. You’ll get your chance to go to New York. Speaking of…why aren’t you there now?”

Kurt let the story come spilling out, cheesecake forgotten about entirely as he talked about NYADA, the auditions, failing to get in and having no backup options.

“Performing arts is a rough business,” Sebastian said soothingly. “Did you audition again?”

Kurt shook his head. “I was going to.”

“But...?”

Kurt shrugged, and reached for his fork. He swore when he brushed his finger through the frosting on the chocolate cake.

Sebastian hadn’t brought any napkins out, so Kurt licked it off his finger. He looked up, and swallowed hard when he saw the hunger in Sebastian’s eyes. Sebastian put his fork down and scooted closer to Kurt, and unlike last time, Kurt didn’t move away.

“Kurt…”

“Yes?”

Sebastian trailed a finger through some of the cheesecake and moved even closer. “You’ve got some cheesecake on your face.”

Kurt’s hand flew up to his face and he said, “Where?!”

Sebastian brushed his hand away and swiped the cheesecake on his finger across Kurt’s jaw. “Just there, on your jaw.”

Kurt had a pretty idea where this was going, and his breath hitched as Sebastian went up on his knees, one hand on the clean side of Kurt’s jaw, tilting Kurt’s face away so the side with the cheesecake was easily accessible.

“Why don’t you let me take care of that for you?” Sebastian murmured, his tongue slipping out to lick along Kurt’s jawline.

Kurt shut his eyes and let out an embarrassingly loud whimper at the feel of Sebastian’s hot, wet tongue flicking along his jaw as Sebastian licked him clean.

 _Now_ he was screwed.  If Sebastian asked him to do anything right now, Kurt would. He hadn’t even kissed Kurt yet and Kurt was more turned on then he’d been in his whole life. He opened his eyes when Sebastian turned his head back so that they were looking into each other’s eyes.

Sebastian leaned in, and Kurt held his breath, knowing that Sebastian was going to kiss him, feeling the heat of his body as he drew closer, and then….

And then nothing. He opened his eyes and was surprised to see just how far Sebastian had gotten away from him in such a short amount of time.

“Why didn’t you kiss me?” Kurt asked.

Sebastian sighed heavily before he spoke. “I promised you I wouldn’t try anything. I shouldn’t have—“

“Don’t do that,” Kurt breathed. His body was vibrating with anticipation, he’d been _so_ close to his first real kiss before Sebastian had stopped.

“I’m so—“

Kurt shook his head. “No, that’s not what I mean. I…I want you to kiss me.”

Sebastian sucked in a breath and his eyes widened. “You probably only got that idea because the wine’s going to your head.”

It was true, Kurt felt the tiniest bit tipsy, but that wasn’t it at all. “No. I’ve wanted you to kiss me all night,” he confessed.

“Is that so?”

“Yeah,” Kurt breathed. “I’ve never…and I want…”

“Shit,” Sebastian swore. “You’ve never kissed anyone?”

Kurt shook his head. “Nothing that counted.”

“Fuck,” Sebastian whispered, voice thick with want.

He moved back into Kurt’s space, making Kurt jump when he touched Kurt’s shoulder to move him so that they weren’t at such an awkward angle. Sebastian slid his hand up from Kurt’s shoulder to his jaw, gripping it firmly and tilting Kurt’s head up.

This was it, Kurt knew it, so he just closed his eyes and waited.

This time he wasn’t disappointed—Sebastian kissed him gently at first and Kurt gasped in shock. He’d known Sebastian was going to kiss him, but he didn’t know it was going to feel so damn _good._ He’d figured kissing had to be nice since people did it so much, but he hadn’t ever thought the touch of lips on lips had the power to blow him away like this.

When they broke apart, Kurt realized he was trembling, and he buried his face in his hands. His cheeks were so warm, and he felt like he was about to float away.

“Are you okay?” Sebastian sounded worried, so Kurt let his hands fall away from his face.

“Yeah, I just, I didn’t realize it was going to be like _that_.” Kurt licked his lips—they were still tingling. He turned his head and looked up at him with wide desperate eyes. “Can we do that again?”

“God,” Sebastian groaned. “Of course we can.”

He surged forward, kissing harder this time, his hands sliding around Kurt’s back. Kurt moaned into it, his hands going around Sebastian’s neck to pull him even closer. Sebastian licked teasingly at the seam of Kurt’s lips and Kurt opened for him, gasping at the feel of Sebastian’s tongue against his own.

Kurt had no idea what he was doing, or if he was doing anything back at all--he just knew that this felt amazing and that Sebastian tasted good, like wine and chocolate and something else he couldn’t define.

Kurt realized at one point that his body was moving down, that his back was pressed against the carpet, that Sebastian’s knees were pressed on either side of Kurt’s hips, his forearms bracketing Kurt’s head. Kurt didn’t mind at all—this new position made it much easier to kiss each other, and Kurt definitely didn’t want that to stop.

Sebastian pulled away suddenly, and Kurt opened his eyes to see Sebastian staring down at him. His gaze was so intense, and Kurt didn’t quite know why.

“What’s wrong?” Kurt panted.

“Nothing. I just--we should stop,” Sebastian answered, starting to move away, but Kurt reached out desperately, his fingers catching in Sebastian’s shirt.

“Don’t,” he breathed.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t…don’t stop. I don’t want you to.” He tugged on the fabric in his hand, making Sebastian fall flush against him. It was just for a moment, but Kurt felt Sebastian’s cock firm against his thigh and whimpered. Knowing that Sebastian was turned on too made him feel _reckless_.

“Kurt…” Sebastian murmured as he pushed himself up, holding himself up high enough so that they weren’t touching. Having Sebastian like this, so close to him, knowing that Sebastian wanted him but wasn’t doing anything about it was driving him crazy.

He couldn’t take it anymore. He pushed himself up on his elbows and kissed Sebastian instead of waiting. It was clumsy, but still so good, and it only took a second for Sebastian to respond. Kurt melted back into the carpet, his hands starting to boldly wander down Sebastian’s sides. He smiled when he felt Sebastian shudder against him. Knowing that Sebastian was just as undone by this as he was was doing serious things for Kurt’s ego.

They broke apart panting and when Kurt saw the way Sebastian was looking at him, a satisfied grin spread across his lips. Sebastian’s eyes were hungry, and it was clear that he wanted nothing more than to bend his head and kiss Kurt again. Instead, he pressed his forehead against Kurt’s shoulder, breathing deeply. Kurt had the sneaking suspicion that Sebastian was trying to get himself under control, which did nothing to quell the smugness that had been rising up in him ever since he’d felt Sebastian’s cock against his thigh.

Kurt couldn’t stop himself from asking, “Still want to stop?”

Sebastian started to laugh. “I think I like you like this.”

“Hmm?” Kurt wasn’t exactly following. His mind didn’t have room for anything that wasn’t getting Sebastian’s lips back on his.

“Smug and snarky look good on you. Don’t get me wrong, I love how innocent you are, but I like this side of you, too.”

 

Kurt shrugged as much as he could in this position and smiled a little. “Well, it’s your fault.”

“Yeah? How’s that?”

“The way you’re looking at me. And earlier. When you…when I pulled you down. I felt…” Kurt blushed as he trailed off. He _so_ wasn’t ready to start talking about hard-ons out loud just yet. He looked away, but not before he saw Sebastian’s eyes flash.

“You felt…” Sebastian quirked an eyebrow and let his knees spread apart, his cock pressing just over Kurt’s.  “...this?”

Kurt gulped loudly, because _wow,_ that had no right to be as hot as it was, and he couldn’t help the way his hips bucked up, wanting more.

A groan tore itself out of Sebastian’s throat and he raised himself up again. “That was so unfair.”

“Again,” Kurt whispered, “totally your fault.” His hands slid down from where they were resting on Sebastian’s waist, and they pushed down a little. “I think you should do that again.”

Sebastian laughed. “I don’t think so. I’m having a hard enough time not letting this go too far as it is.”

“Oh,” Kurt gasped. “Do you want to—“  If Sebastian said yes…Kurt would let him. He wanted it with an intensity that surprised him.

Sebastian shook his head. “Shhh. Stop it. I don’t think your first time should be on my living room floor, and you know you don’t want it to be like that either.”

Kurt sighed loudly. “Well. _No,_ but…”

“But nothing.  We’re five minutes from me stripping you down and making you beg for it.”

Kurt squirmed as a shiver worked its way up his spine. He didn’t know why his stomach jumped up into his throat at the sound of those words. He loved Sebastian’s voice, that was nothing new, and he often found himself blushing, but the heat diffusing its way through his body had nothing to do with embarrassment.

Sebastian’s eyes seemed to know, though. “So, it turns you on when I talk dirty to you…”

Kurt felt himself blushing all the way to the tips of his ears. “Yeah, I guess so,” he breathed. The admission felt so, _so_ dirty.

“Good to know.” Sebastian climbed off of Kurt, and sat back against the couch, eyes closed, knees drawn up to his chest, a smug little smile playing at his lips.

Kurt followed him, sitting far closer than he needed to. He just liked being near Sebastian, and If he couldn’t get kisses right now, he’d take the feeling of having their thighs and knees and shoulders pressed together. Sebastian didn’t seem to mind when Kurt put his head on his shoulder, so Kurt left it there. Sebastian was breathing deeply, and after a few seconds, Kurt realized that his own breathing had changed to match the slow, steady pace. He wasn’t sure how long they sat there like that, but eventually Sebastian broke the silence.

“You know, I should probably take you home soon.”

Kurt sighed. “Yeah, probably. My dad might send out a search party or something.”

“Uh-oh, he’s one of _those_ kinds of dads?”

Kurt shrugged. “He’s… very protective.”

“And he let you go on a date with a _me?”_ Sebastian asked, his eyebrows shooting up in disbelief.

“He doesn’t know the full details,” Kurt admitted. “I just told him I was hanging out with a friend from work.”

“And does he know that your ‘friend’ is older than you?”

Kurt shook his head.

“You know he might object to the fact that I’m so much older, right? That it might cause problems for you?”

Kurt tensed. “Well, yes. That’s why I was intentionally vague...”  Something occurred to Kurt. “You know what? I don’t know exactly how old you are.”

Sebastian flashed him a mischievous grin. “Take a guess first.”

“Oh come on, that’s not fair.”

Sebastian just rose an eyebrow, and there was silence, so Kurt knew he’d have to take a guess before Sebastian said anything else.

“Fine. You’re…uhm…28?”

“Very close,” Sebastian said approvingly. “I’m 31.”

Twelve years. All of a sudden it seemed like a lot. Kurt sort of wondered what in the hell Sebastian was doing with him, when he could be with someone older, wiser, who knew what they were doing. But as he thought about it, that was what Sebastian was into, right? Kurt’s innocence. This was all probably just some fun thing to keep him busy while he was on break in the most boring place on earth.

“That’s okay, isn’t it?” Sebastian asked, a tinge of worry in his tone.

Kurt must have been quiet for too long. “Yeah. I figured you were around that age, so its not like it’s a surprise.”

“All right,” Sebastian said softly. He stood up and offered Kurt a hand. “Let’s get you home, then.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recommend you wait until the link I've placed in the text to take a look at hunterclaringstan's lovely fanart for this piece, but if you can't wait...[here's the link!](http://hunterclaringstan.tumblr.com/post/73846806443/kurtbastian-bigbang-fanart-for-the-lovely-fic)

Kurt couldn’t stop thinking about him. The way Sebastian’s lips felt on his, the way his body felt on top of Kurt’s, his _cock._ When Sebastian had suggested that they spend time together, had made it clear he wanted to have sex, Kurt had been nervous, and more than a little scared. Now that he knew what kissing felt like, what it felt like to want and be wanted…Kurt was just excited. The idea of Sebastian wasn’t quite as terrifying as it had been before.

Which was good—he wanted to prove to Sebastian that he could be more than just an innocent, doe eyed boy who stuttered and blushed all the time. He wasn’t sure how exactly he was going to do that, but maybe he could start by calling him. They hadn’t actually spoken since Friday night, and it was Tuesday and Kurt was getting more than a little restless.

Fuck it. It was a slow day at work, he had 30 minutes until lunch, and he didn’t have anything better to do anyway.

_Hi._

Kurt figured he’d have to wait ages for a reply, but he was surprised when his phone lit up almost instantly.

**Hi. What are you up to?**

_Nothing exciting. Work is really slow and…I was thinking about you._

**Oh? What were you thinking?**

Kurt swallowed hard. There was no way in _hell_ he was going to tell Sebastian what he’d actually been thinking.

_Um…How much I enjoyed Friday night._

**Me too. The roasted duck? So good.**

Kurt couldn’t stop himself from giggling a little.   _You know that’s not what I meant._

**Do I? I’m not a mind reader. :P**

_I liked it when you kissed me._

**I loved doing it. You’re so responsive. I keep hearing those little noises you make in my mind.**

Kurt smiled. There was seriously something about knowing how much he was wanted that made Kurt feel so, so good.   _Yeah? I…keep thinking about the way you touched me._

**Mmm, I love touching you. Can’t wait to get my hands on your skin.**

_I really want that._

**What else do you want? Tell me. You don’t have to be shy.**

_I want…when I could feel you, when you were pressing up against me…it felt so good. I didn’t want you to stop._

**Maybe next time I won’t stop.**

_Don’t. Please._

**I’ll think about it. ;)**

Kurt kind of didn’t know what to say now, but his phone lit up before he had to come up with something.

**I’m so sorry, but…I have to go. I’ve got a meeting soon.**

_That’s cool. I’ll talk to you later I guess?_

**I’d love to. How about tomorrow?**

_Like, you want me to call you, or…?_

**You could, but I was thinking you could meet me for lunch?**

Sebastian wanted to see him. It made Kurt grin, way, _way_ too hard.

_I’d love to._

* * *

 

Kurt sighed wistfully as he listened to Sebastian talk about the time he’d gotten left behind at a train station in Venice with the clothes on his back and almost no money.

“The cell phones we had back then were pretty useless, too. You have no idea how good you have it.”

Kurt just smiled. “Even so…you were in _Venice._ It seems like such a beautiful place to get lost in.”

“After I got over being terrified and confused it was kind of great just wandering the streets, I’ll give you that.”

 _“_ Your life seems kind of awesome. Boarding school in Paris, travelling all around Europe…I don’t think I’ll ever get to do any of that.”

“Why not?”

Kurt shrugged. “I failed at getting into college, and even if I do find a way in…artists don’t make a lot of money. I’ll be lucky to keep a roof over my head.”

“Whoa,” Sebastian said. “You don’t know what could happen, what opportunities could come your way.”

Kurt swallowed hard and fiddled with the napkin in his lap. “I don’t know, Sebastian. It would be irresponsible to even consider it.”

Kurt dared a look up at Sebastian and saw that he was frowning slightly, so he darted his eyes away.

“What makes you say that, Kurt?”

“It’s...I just can’t right now.” He really didn’t want to talk about money with Sebastian, who probably didn’t know the first thing about not having enough money for anything. It just felt awkward.

“Why not? You don’t have to tell me, but I want to know, and maybe help if I can?”

Kurt looked at Sebastian again, trying to understand why he would say something like that. This--their ‘relationship’ if you could even call it that--was all about fun, and eventually, about sex. Sebastian was going to be gone before Kurt even knew it. Kurt was just a distraction that Sebastian would forget about the second he got on a plane to New York, so why did Sebastian seem to care so much?

“Hey,” Sebastian said softly. “I’m sorry if I asked too much, okay? You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. I just…I mean, I know we don’t know each other that well, but...I want to know you.”

And when Kurt looked into Sebastian’s eyes, he could tell that he meant it. Which didn’t make sense.

“Thank you.”

They finished their lunches quietly, and Kurt wondered what Sebastian was thinking, because he clearly seemed absorbed in some sort of thought. So much that he didn’t seem to notice Kurt looking at him. Kurt took the moment to just take Sebastian in, and noticed for the first time that there were faint freckles across his cheekbones. Kurt had always thought freckles were kind of cute, and he smiled to himself.

“What are you thinking about?” Sebastian asked, finally noticing Kurt’s eyes on him.

Kurt blushed at having been caught out. “I just…I noticed that you have freckles. I’ve always thought freckles were…well, adorable.”

Sebastian’s lips twitched. “I don’t think I’ve been called adorable since I was twelve, but thank you.”

Kurt shrugged, but was glad they were talking again, that they were smiling.

“So…how much time do you have before you need to go? Sebastian asked.

“I don’t have any appointments or anything, and I told my coworker to let me know if I needed to get back quickly.” He pulled out his phone, and there weren’t any messages. “She hasn’t texted me, so…I have time. Why?”

“I usually take a bit of a walk before I go back to the office. I was wondering if you wanted to come with?”

Kurt was happy to spend more time with Sebastian, but it was _cold_ outside and this coat was a little on the thin side, his scarf more decorative than anything else. But he said, “Sure.”

Fifteen minutes later, Kurt realized that this had been a terrible idea. It was way too damn cold to be outside for so long with so little on, and he shivered.

“Kurt? Did you hear what I just said?”

“Uh, no, sorry,” Kurt said with a shaky laugh. “I was a little distracted.” Kurt was surprised when Sebastian grabbed the sleeve of his coat and pinched the fabric between his hands.

“You’re freezing, aren’t you?” Sebastian asked, eyes narrowed.

“N-no, I’m f-fine.” It wasn’t very convincing.

“You should have said something!” Sebastian scolded gently. “Hold on, a second.” He unbuttoned his coat and dug in an inner pocket, smiling triumphantly when he produced a pair of gloves. “Put these on,” Sebastian insisted.

Kurt did, and sighed happily. The gloves were lined with something soft and fuzzy that seemed to warm him up instantly. “Thank you,” he said quietly. Then he noticed that Sebastian was unwinding his scarf as well. “Oh, no you don’t have to—“

Sebastian smiled. “I don’t have to, but I’m going to.”

He insisted on putting it on for Kurt, which made him feel a little silly. He hadn’t thought to bring a proper scarf, but he was certainly capable of putting one on. Still, it felt sort of nice to just let someone do something for him.

When it was done, Kurt said, “Thank you,” for what felt like the millionth time.

“It’s nothing. I’ve got on plenty of layers, and I’d much rather you be warm than anything else.”  He looped Kurt’s arm through his and held it there as they kept walking.

Sebastian insisted on buying Kurt a coffee, and that Kurt keep the scarf and gloves until the next time he saw Sebastian.

“You don’t have to be so nice to me,” Kurt said in a small voice as they stood by his car. He really didn’t understand why Sebastian seemed to care so much when Kurt didn’t really matter to him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Kurt felt himself flushing with embarrassment. “It’s just. I mean. I already agreed to...you know.”

“Kurt...” Sebastian sounded incredibly sad. “Does that mean you’re not used to people being nice to you?”

Kurt shook his head, then felt like he should apologize, because he hadn’t meant to turn things in such a sour direction. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”

“You can say anything you want around me; you know that, right?”

Kurt shrugged. “Still. I didn’t mean to upset you…I mean, thank you so much for letting me wear these.”

Sebastian’s mouth twitched like he wanted to frown, but his face remained blank, unreadable. “It’s not a problem. I don’t know what other people have been like, but I want to be nice to you. Just because.”

Kurt nodded. “I should probably go now,” he said softly. He really wanted to get out of here—he was having all sorts of strange uncomfortable feelings he didn’t know how to deal with.

“Okay.” Sebastian hesitated for a moment, then reached out for Kurt’s hand and gave it a squeeze.

Kurt squeezed his hand back wordlessly, not really sure what to do now. Sebastian was looking at him like he wasn’t done, like he was just dying to say something, and Kurt just hoped it wasn’t something bad.

Sebastian took a deep breath, clearly a little nervous about what he was about to say.  “Can I make you dinner later this week?”

Kurt’s eyebrows shot up. That hadn’t been what he was expecting, but he was very glad to be wrong. “Of course.”  

Kurt squeezed Sebastian’s hand once more, but he wanted to do more than that, so he stretched up on his toes and pressed a kiss to Sebastian’s cheek.

“I’ll see you later then?”

Sebastian nodded, and dropped Kurt’s hand before pulling him into a tight hug. They parted ways and Kurt went back to work feeling warm inside for reasons that had nothing to do with the borrowed scarf and gloves he was wearing.

 

* * *

 

 

Kurt had barely gotten out of the house before his father had come home from work. Burt didn’t say yes or no to his coming and going anymore because Kurt was an ‘adult’, but his dad definitely would have asked questions that might have been hard to answer. He knew that at some point he was going to have to tell his dad about Sebastian, but he was going to put that out of his mind for now and try to enjoy his night.

He wiped sweaty palms on his jeans and knocked on Sebastian’s door. The door swung open and Kurt was assaulted with heat and the delicious smell of really good food.

“Hi!” Sebastian said brightly, letting Kurt in and shutting the door behind him. Before Kurt could say anything back, Sebastian had pressed a kiss to his cheek and was inviting Kurt to take his coat off. Then he was running back towards the kitchen and saying something about things burning.

Kurt still hadn’t gotten a word out, but he was smiling nonetheless—he’d never seen Sebastian this energetic before and it was infectious. He followed Sebastian into the kitchen after he’d found a place to drape his coat, and pushed up his sleeves. Whatever Sebastian was cooking had made the whole house overly warm, an extreme contrast to how cold it was outside.

Sebastian seemed to be in his own little world, stirring things and quietly singing something under his breath. He was wearing an apron, Kurt hadn’t noticed that before, and it made him giggle quietly. Something about Sebastian like this, barefoot, in an apron and making dinner for Kurt made him so happy.

Kurt thought about starting up a conversation, but he didn’t want to disturb the sweet scene playing out in front of him, so he just leaned against the door frame a faint smile playing at his lips.

Sebastian pushed a bit of hair off his brow, looked up, and finally noticed Kurt there. “Oh! Shit. Sorry I’ve been ignoring you, I just started doing everything at once and it got a little hectic for a second!”

Kurt waved him off. “No, it’s fine. I was just watching you. You look--”

“I’m a mess,” Sebastian complained. “I don’t cook much—I forgot how exhausting and sweaty it is.”

Everything was even sweeter now. Sebastian didn’t normally cook for people, yet he was doing it for Kurt. He couldn’t keep himself from grinning. Sebastian was making him feel so special, and he’d only been here ten minutes.

“I think you look fine,” Kurt said, closing the distance between them. He ran his finger across the apron, just over Sebastian’s chest. “This is pretty cute, actually.”

“Crap, I forgot I was wearing that,” Sebastian said, blushing a little as he hastily untied the apron and hung it on a hook on the wall.

Kurt’s eyes crinkled as he smiled. “And now you’re blushing. Super cute.”

Sebastian just rolled his eyes. “I think I’m 20 years past being cute, sweetheart, but if you say so.”

Warmth bloomed in Kurt’s chest when Sebastian called him sweetheart. This evening was already defying expectations and it had barely even begun. He’d expected flirtation and seduction, but he had barefoot Sebastian with sort of messy hair wearing an apron, making him dinner and calling him sweetheart. It was all so homey and romantic. But those were really bad things to associate with Sebastian—this wasn’t about anything but sex. He had to keep that in mind.

“What were you humming earlier?” Kurt asked, needing something else to occupy his mind.

“Oh, you heard that?” Sebastian scratched at the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Yeah, and I thought it sounded lovely. So what was it?”

“You promise you won’t laugh at me?”

“Now you’re just being silly. Just tell me what song it was.”

[“I’ll do better than that.” Sebastian grinned, then surprised Kurt by putting one hand around his waist to pull him close and grabbing his other hand, holding it out next to them.](http://hunterclaringstan.tumblr.com/post/73846806443/kurtbastian-bigbang-fanart-for-the-lovely-fic)

“What on earth are you doing?”

“C’mon, don’t tell me you’ve never danced with anyone,” Sebastian said laughing as he started swaying along to an imaginary beat.

Kurt blushed. “No. I haven’t. Nothing with anyone but you.”

Sebastian’s eyes softened. “Well, I guess I better make this special, then.”

Then he began to sing, and god, his voice was even prettier now that Kurt was hearing it without any background noise.

_Embrace me, my sweet embraceable you_

Kurt still didn’t know the song, but it was a sweet song, a really romantic one. Sebastian looked straight into his eyes, holding him still to sing a particular line at him, and Kurt actually felt his knees go a little weak.

_Just one look at you, my heart grows tipsy in me._

This was so bad—if Sebastian was going to do things like slow dance with him in the kitchen and serenade him with one of the romantic songs he’d ever heard, Kurt was going to have a hard time not falling in love with him. He couldn’t even look at Sebastian right now, because the warmth in his eyes was too much for Kurt to bear. He wrapped his arms around Sebastian’s neck,  pressed his cheek against Sebastian’s shoulder and breathed him in. Finally, the song ended, and he laughed when Sebastian spun him around a few times.

“So, there you have it,” Sebastian said a little breathlessly. “ _Embraceable You_. It’s a classic.”

“It was a very nice song,” Kurt said quietly. “I liked it a lot.” They were still standing very close, there were butterflies in his stomach, and Kurt really hoped Sebastian might just kiss him. Sebastian leaned in, and Kurt was just about to close his eyes when the oven timer went off.

Sebastian laughed softly. “Well, damn,” he murmured, pressing a feather light kiss to Kurt’s temple.

The incessant beeping of the oven ruined the magical mood that had settled over them, and they let each other go.

Sebastian cleared his throat and turned toward the oven.  “How about you get us glasses of water while I get everything else together?”

It took Kurt a few moments to figure out where the glasses were, and then the wine glasses when Sebastian asked for those. He tried not to think about how it felt like they were making dinner at their own place, because he’d only known Sebastian for less than a month, and this was really only their second date, and were they even dating? Thinking about them living together was more than a little crazy.

Soon they were sitting down to dinner, and Kurt was blown away by how delicious it was. Sebastian was adorably pleased at Kurt’s reaction to the food.

“Seriously,” Kurt said as he took a sip of wine when he’d finished eating. “This was so good. Is there anything you’re bad at?”

Sebastian just smiled. “Well, I’m really terrible at chess. And I can’t make dessert to save my life. Which is why I got ice cream.”

Kurt instinctively brought a hand down to his belly. “I don’t think I have any room for it now,” he admitted.

“Me either,” Sebastian agreed. “So how about we dump all this in the sink and go watch a movie or something?”

They cleared everything up, but Kurt didn’t quite make it to the living room, because Sebastian backed him against a counter top the second his hands were empty.

“You know, I said I wanted to watch a movie,” Sebastian murmured as he leaned in. “But I think I was wrong.”

“Then what do you want to do?” Kurt asked.

Instead of answering, Sebastian grabbed Kurt’s hips and lifted him onto the countertop. Kurt let out a squeak of surprise as he felt his feet leave the ground. Sebastian nudged his way between Kurt’s knees, and the way Kurt had to spread them a little so Sebastian could do so made him feel deliciously naughty.

“Why are you are so fucking cute?” Sebastian murmured, leaning in and kissing Kurt hard before Kurt could say anything. “Makes me just want to ruin you,” Sebastian said when he broke away, kissing down to Kurt’s neck and sucking there. Kurt let out a loud moan and his hands gripped tight at Sebastian’s shoulders.

“F-fuck,” he gasped when one of Sebastian’s hands began to work at the buttons at the top of his shirt. He said it again when Sebastian nipped at his neck.

“Don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that,” Sebastian murmured as he kissed over Kurt’s collarbone.

Kurt wanted to say _something_ , but he could only whimper as Sebastian’s lips kept working magic on the skin that he’d revealed.

“God, I want to mark you up,” Sebastian breathed.

“You can.” Kurt brought shaky fingers to his buttons and slipped a few more out of their holes. “Just, lower. Don’t want my dad to see.”

“Hearing you say that shouldn’t turn me on so much.”

Kurt couldn’t stop himself from laughing. “Why would it?”

“It reminds me how young you are. Makes me remember being young.”

“Oh,” Kurt whispered. “Did you have to avoid lots of fathers back then?”

Sebastian smiled against Kurt’s collarbone where he’d been sucking hard. “God, you have no idea. Backseats, sneaking boys out before my parents got home.”

“Sounds like you were a bad boy.”

Sebastian pulled back, rested his forehead against Kurt’s. “I still am,” he said, grinning.

That smile, the hunger in Sebastian’s eyes, the wicked twist to his mouth…it hit Kurt like a punch in the gut and he wanted everything. Now. “Show me,” Kurt demanded.

“You sure you want that?”

Kurt put his hands on Sebastian’s shoulders, pushed him back so he could look him in the eye. He wanted Sebastian to know that he meant every word he was about to say.

“Take me to your room.”

It was so easy to let Sebastian tug him down the hall, into the semi darkness of his bedroom. His shirt was off and on the floor before he even realized it; he didn’t care that his fingers were clumsy as he tugged at Sebastian’s shirt to pull it free from where it was tucked in.

He let out a loud gasp when Sebastian unbuckled his belt, and Sebastian paused.

“Is this okay, baby?”

Kurt shuddered. He’d never expected to like being called ‘baby’ by anyone, had always thought it was kind of stupid, but coming out of Sebastian’s mouth, it was perfect.

“Yes,” Kurt whispered. “It’s so, _so_ okay.”

Sebastian’s teeth flashed white in the dim room as he slid Kurt’s belt out of the loops. “Take your pants off.”

Kurt let out a little whimper, but did as he was told.

“Get on the bed.”

“Fuck,” Kurt groaned as he sank down onto the bed, scooting backwards so his feet were just barely hanging off the edge.

He had no idea why, but the fact that Sebastian was giving him orders was turning him on even more.  His hands twisted in the sheets as Sebastian quickly stripped himself down to his underwear and climbed on to the bed, knees bracketing Kurt’s hips.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” Sebastian murmured. He cupped Kurt’s face in his hands and kissed him sweetly. He put a big hand on Kurt’s chest and pushed. “Down,” he whispered.

Kurt let himself fall, closed his eyes and surrendered to the heat of Sebastian’s mouth on his chin, his neck, across his collarbone, down the center of his chest. He let out a squeak and his whole body jerked when Sebastian licked over a nipple.

“You like that?” Sebastian’s eyes were almost too dirty to look at, but Kurt just couldn’t look away.

Kurt nodded, shivering as Sebastian ran his hands down Kurt’s sides.

“Tell me how it feels,” Sebastian said, his voice low and gritty and impossibly sexy.

Kurt felt heat blooming through him as he thought of what sorts of things Sebastian might want him to say. “I, I can’t,” he said, his voice small. “I don’t know how.”

He yelped when Sebastian bit gently at one of his nipples, tugging a little with his teeth. “Yes, you do.  Doesn’t have to be anything special, just tell me what it feels like.”

“It’s, _fuck,_ it’s…so intense--feels so amazing.”

Sebastian wrapped his lips around the nipple he’d been licking at, and sucked it into his mouth.

“Oh, _god,”_ Kurt sighed. “I didn’t even know I liked this.”

Sebastian pulled away and blew cool air over the skin he’d just had his mouth on.

“No, don’t stop, please,” Kurt begged.

“I’m not, baby, not gonna stop,” Sebastian promised as he kissed his way to the other side of Kurt’s chest and gave his other nipple the same treatment.

It felt _so, so_ good, better than any fantasy he’d ever conjured up in his mind. Kurt hadn’t really ever thought to give his nipples much attention when he touched himself and was overwhelmed by how good this felt. He couldn’t stop moaning and squirming, but Sebastian didn’t seem to mind. This was good, so fucking good, but Kurt was painfully hard and needed more. _Now._

“Touch me,” Kurt gasped.

Sebastian released Kurt’s nipple with an obscene wet pop and wiggled his fingers where they were sliding gently up and down Kurt’s sides. “But I _am_ touching you.”

Kurt whimpered in frustration. “I need more, please, just…I’m so…so..”

Sebastian moved up, hands on either side of Kurt’s shoulders to support his weight as he loomed over Kurt in the darkness. “C’mon, sweetheart, tell me what you want.”

Kurt didn’t know the right words, his brain just wasn’t working, so he let his hands glide to Sebastian’s hips and tugged him down so that he was pressed against the full length of Kurt’s body.

“I want…like we did last time; before you made us stop,” Kurt said shyly, looking away from Sebastian’s eyes, intense and dark with desire.  Kurt pushed his hips up a little to make sure Sebastian understood him.

Sebastian smiled. “We can do that.” Instead of grinding down against like Kurt expected, Sebastian wrapped his arms around Kurt and rolled them over so that Kurt was on top, straddling Sebastian’s hips.

Kurt curled in on himself a little, knees squeezing around Sebastian’s body as he realized that Sebastian wanted him to take control. Fuck, it was more than that. Sebastian wanted Kurt to _ride_ him. Just thinking that felt so, so naughty. He couldn’t imagine doing it. Kurt felt like his whole body had to be blushing now.  His hands rested uselessly against Sebastian’s chest.

“What do I do now?” Kurt asked nervously, chewing at his lip a little.

Instead of answering, Sebastian pulled him down for a kiss, a kiss where his hands slid down Kurt’s back and to his hips. He pulled Kurt’s hips down as he pushed his own up, and Kurt gasped into the kiss.  He couldn’t stop himself from grinding down in response, couldn’t stop himself from doing it over and over again, harder and faster until he was panting.

“Just like that,” Sebastian groaned. “Want you to just take what you want.”

If Sebastian kept talking like that then this was going to be over very, _very_ soon.

“So fuckin’ hot like this,” Sebastian said, his voice rough and gritty in a way that went straight to Kurt’s cock.

Kurt tried to slow down, tried to stop but it just felt _so_ good. “I’m not going to last,” he gasped out. “I should, stop, _fuck.”_

“Mmm, no, don’t stop, sweetheart. I wantto see you come for me.”

“’S’gonna be messy,” Kurt said, his words slurring together a little. “My underwear. We…we should take them off,” he panted.

Sebastian grinned at him. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll buy you new ones.”

Something about those words set him off, he cried out, his body seized up and then he was coming, long and hard. He whimpered and shook with waves of oversensitivity as Sebastian bucked up against him a few more times and came as well, shuddering against him.

“ _God,”_ Kurt rushed out, body still tingling from his orgasm. “I… _wow,”_ he breathed, and then he was laughing and he didn’t even know why.

“Yeah,” Sebastian panted. “Haven’t done that in fucking forever—forgot how good it felt.” He pushed himself up on his elbows, body twisting a bit until Kurt took the hint and rolled off of him.  

They just lay there, breathing deeply, and Kurt realized after a moment that they’d started breathing in sync, just like last time. The thought made him smile. He felt the bed shift and turned his head to see Sebastian propped up on one elbow, just looking at him.

“What?” he said, giggling a bit.

Sebastian trailed his fingers lightly over Kurt’s chest, and Kurt shivered.

“You’re amazing, that’s what,” Sebastian said softly.

“Me? I…I mean I…It was over so fast, and I didn’t even really do anything for you,” Kurt said awkwardly.

Sebastian shook his head. “It’s not that. What we just did was hot, and a lot of fun, but that’s not what I meant.” There was a long pause, and then, “You just….make me remember what it was like to be young. How fun it was.”  

Kurt’s brow furrowed. “What…what do you mean? You do fun stuff all the time, don’t you? Fabulous vacations and buying whatever you want…”

Sebastian’s head dropped a little as he laughed softly. “Yeah, but money can’t buy what you just made me feel.” He bent and kissed Kurt’s forehead and Kurt felt his heart flutter in his chest for what seemed the millionth time tonight.

He desperately wanted to ask what it was he made Sebastian feel, but he almost didn’t want to know the answer, didn’t want yet another reason to fall hard and fast into dangerous emotional territory. So he responded with, “What, you mean sticky and gross?” instead.

Sebastian laughed loudly. “You have a point there. I’m starting to remember why I stopped rutting against boys with our underwear on.  It’s…fun, but really messy.”

Kurt scrunched up his face. “Yeah. I mean really, you might have to actually buy me new underwear,” he teased.

Sebastian smirked. “You seemed to like the idea at the time.”

Like it? Well _duh,_ he’d come his freaking brains out the second the words had fallen from Sebastian’s lips. Kurt felt a little bit weird about it, but Sebastian had made it clear on multiple occasions that Kurt’s youth and innocence were a turn on for him. So Kurt couldn’t find it in himself to feel too bad it.

“I wasn’t kidding, though. I’d buy you a hell of a lot more than new underwear.”

Kurt wasn’t exactly sure what to say to that.

“In fact…I actually did buy you something the other day,” Sebastian confessed.

“Oooh!” Kurt squealed, sitting up quickly. “What is it?”

Sebastian laughed at Kurt’s enthusiasm. “How about we get you cleaned up, then I’ll show you?”

Fifteen minutes later, in jeans (no underwear because… _yuck)_ and in a borrowed t-shirt, Kurt was sitting on the couch and holding a very elegant gift box in his hand. He lifted the cover and saw a [scarf ](http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524446621229)and [gloves](http://www.gucci.com/us/styles/283227BMV101000) inside. His fingers traced over the scarf, soft wool with  what seemed to be geometric pattern.

“This is so lovely,” Kurt whispered. “Thank you.” He took a closer look at the pattern and realized that it wasn’t really a pattern, it was a logo repeated over and over again. A logo he knew extremely well…

“Sebastian…is this…”

He almost didn’t want to finish the question and he didn’t really need to ask. He knew exactly what he was holding.

“This is Fendi,” he said in a hushed whisper.

Sebastian shrugged, but he was smiling a little. “I thought you might like it.”

“I do, of course I do, but…It’s so expensive. I couldn’t possibly…”

“But you _can.”_ Sebastian said firmly. “If you don’t then you’ll just have to keep what you borrowed from me, and I’d much rather you have these. I did pick them out just for you.”

Kurt lifted the gloves from the box, traced his fingers over the soft black leather and examined the pattern that was embossed into the soft leather. He knew this logo quite well too.

“Gucci,” he murmured. “I can’t believe it.”

He slipped his hand inside of one and sighed at the softness of the lining, at how his hand warmed up instantly. He thought he knew what fabric it was, one that he’d touched longingly on sweaters he could never afford, not even on clearance.

“Are these lined with cashmere?”

Sebastian nodded. “Just like the ones I let you borrow.”

It was generous, thoughtful, and so wonderful of Sebastian to do this for Kurt, but Kurt couldn’t accept these gifts. He slipped the glove off his hand and lay it reverently back in the box next to its mate.

“Sebastian, I’m…I’m really honored that you thought to buy these for me, but I _do_ have scarves and gloves, I just hadn’t really thought to bring them that day, and these…while lovely, are so incredibly expensive. I simply couldn’t accept them.”

Kurt had been staring at the floor as he said all this and when he looked up, he was surprised to see that Sebastian didn’t seem to be offended at all. In fact, he seemed just the slightest bit amused.

“You’re not used to people being nice to you, are you?”

Kurt shook his head. “Even if I was…there’s hundreds of dollars in that box, and I just…it’s so much money.”

Sebastian shrugged. “I can afford it. I want to buy you anything and everything you want, and I want to do it because I like you. I like the way your face lit up when you recognized where the scarf came from, and I want to make your face light up all the time. So just let me?”

“But…”

“But _nothing,_ Kurt. Let me be nice to you. Let me take care of you. I know you can take care of yourself, but I want to help. It makes me happy. Surely you won’t deny me that?” He pouted a little and looked at Kurt with wide, sincere eyes.

Kurt sighed. Sebastian looked very sweet and earnest and it just wasn’t fair. He really wanted to go ahead and say yes, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the money.

“Sebastian…”

Sebastian took his hand and pressed a kiss to the underside of his wrist. “Please, Kurt. Just take them. I really, _really_ want you to have them.”

“Okay,” Kurt said quietly. “I’ll take them.” He picked up the scarf and rubbed it against his cheek. “I really do love the scarf,” he said after a moment. “It’s so soft.”

Sebastian beamed at him. “I thought you’d like it.”   

Kurt just smiled and ducked his head. “So what now?”

“Ice cream?” Sebastian suggested. He hesitated, then added, “I got strawberry. Since, you know, it’s your favorite.”

Kurt tried not to smile, but it was hard not to. “You remembered?”

Sebastian shrugged, trying to be casual, but his face was a little pink. Sebastian hurried off into the kitchen.  Kurt watched him go with a small smile and sank back into the couch, realizing that he was really quite fond of Sebastian. Probably more than he should be. But there was nothing he could do about it now except enjoy it while it lasted.


	4. Chapter 4

Nearly two weeks later, Kurt had only seen Sebastian a few times more. Lunch dates and afternoon coffees, dinner once, but nothing like that night at Sebastian’s apartment. They hadn’t been alone together, had only kissed a few times, and Kurt was _starving_ for more. He knew Sebastian wanted more too from the way his hands lingered on Kurt’s waist when he kissed him goodbye; the things he said in the text messages they exchanged; the way he looked at Kurt sometimes.

Sebastian had apologized profusely about being so busy, and Kurt understood, of course, but he wanted Sebastian to touch him again. He wanted it so bad he couldn’t stand it. So when Sebastian asked him to come over for dinner on Friday night—time that was usually set aside for Kurt to do things with his father—Kurt had said yes immediately.

He was, of course, thrilled about seeing Sebastian again, about being alone, but he was also dreading having to talk to his father. Kurt didn’t know what he was going to say. He couldn’t tell the truth, completely, but…he had to tell his dad _something._ Kurt felt like Burt was already a little suspicious--Kurt was spending a lot of time away from home with ‘friends,’ something he hadn’t really done before Sebastian.

“Hey, when’s dinner gonna be ready, kiddo?” Burt hollered from the living room, distracting Kurt from his thoughts.

Kurt told him it was ready now, and they sat down to dinner.

“You’re being awfully quiet tonight,” his father remarked after a moment.

“Uh…yeah, I guess so.”

“So…everything alright?”

Kurt took a deep breath. This was it. “Yeah. I…just wanted to tell you that I’m going to be doing something Friday evening.”

Surprisingly, Burt didn’t seem upset at all; he used to be unhappy when Kurt made plans on the first Friday of the month, since that was when they usually made time to do something together.

“That’s fine. You’re an adult now, you know. I love spending time with you, but you’re your own man now.”

Kurt sighed in relief.

“But I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

And then his stomach jumped into his throat. He was really sure he knew what his dad was about to ask him and he did _not_ want to answer that question. “Yeah?”

“Are you seeing someone?”

Kurt choked on his lasagna, which brought on a coughing fit. “What makes you think that?” Kurt asked finally.

Burt smiled a bit, and rose his eyebrows. “You’ve been hanging out with some mystery friend a lot, Kurt. And smiling a lot more, and you just seem happier in general. You don’t have to tell me, but you know you _could_ tell me, right?”

“Right,” Kurt said weakly. “Well. Yeah. There’s a guy. His name is Sebastian.”

“You gonna tell me about him, or…?”

Kurt swallowed hard. “He’s…a lawyer.” That seemed like a good, respectable fact. He didn’t want to talk about Sebastian’s age or how they met, so…that was as good as Kurt could come up with for now.

Burt’s eyebrows shot up, but thankfully, he didn’t press for more details. “Good. Well, I’m glad you told me. Anytime you want to tell me more, you can, okay?” He paused, then reached out and squeezed Kurt’s shoulder.

Kurt smiled up at his dad, and they moved on to other things. He knew that at some point he might have to give his father more details, but for now, that would have to do.

 

* * *

****

 

When Kurt arrived on Friday evening, dinner wasn’t even anywhere close to being done, so Kurt found himself chopping vegetables in the kitchen next to Sebastian. It felt even more like this was _their_ kitchen, _their_ place than the last time Kurt had been here. And the happiness he felt at imagining that Sebastian was part of his life like that made Kurt nervous.

He was nervous because kisses and the way Sebastian made his body feel wasn’t what Kurt missed the most when they weren’t together. He missed Sebastian’s smile, the warmth in his eyes, the silly jokes he cracked. Kurt often found himself smiling at nothing or humming lines from ‘Embraceable You.’

His chest got tight whenever he thought about Sebastian’s imminent departure because he knew that he was going to fall apart the second Sebastian said goodbye and got on a plane to New York. He knew it would happen because he was--

“Penny for your thoughts?” Sebastian asked, jolting Kurt out of his melancholy inner dialogue.

Kurt blushed, knowing that he couldn’t tell Sebastian the truth. So he said, “New York.” It wasn’t exactly a lie.

Sebastian’s eyes lit up. “Really? Are you going to reapply to school?”

That took Kurt by surprise, but then again…if he reapplied to school and got in…maybe he’d at least get to see Sebastian again. It was a silly idea—once Sebastian had a city full of hot, amazing, suitable men, he wasn’t going to want to be bother with a boy like Kurt anymore.

“I might,” Kurt said after a moment.

“Well, I hope you do.” Sebastian seemed genuinely happy, and Kurt didn’t know what to make of that.

They continued working on dinner in comfortable silence. Kurt just focused on things like how they always seemed to look up at the same time--how Sebastian couldn’t seem to stop dancing and humming as he worked--to keep himself from thinking dangerous or melancholy thoughts.

Finally all that was left was to let the pasta finish cooking. Kurt leaned against the counter, trying to think of something to say while he watched Sebastian put the things they’d used back where they belonged.

“You were singing again,” was the best he could come up with.

Sebastian shrugged. “I sing a lot, really.”

“I like it when you sing,” Kurt said honestly.

“I’m well aware,” Sebastian said smugly. “You pretty much swooned last time I sang to you.”

Kurt blushed. “I-I wouldn’t say that I _swooned,”_ he said defensively, even though it was a lie. Swooning didn’t even seem a strong enough word for how completely he’d been blown away by being serenaded while slow dancing.

Sebastian just grinned at him. “You definitely swooned. It was charming. I loved it.” His eyes narrowed thoughtfully, then his smile widened.  “And I wonder if I could get you to do it again.”

“You’re quite welcome to try,” Kurt shot back.

Sebastian grabbed his hips and pulled him close. Kurt gave a squeak of surprise but then wrapped his arms around Sebastian’s neck, knowing what was coming next. He felt himself already starting to melt when Sebastian’s hands slid slowly to his waist, their eyes locking in on each other.

Then Sebastian took a breath and began to sing, his voice soft and low.

_I’d love to make love to you. That’s just what I’d love to do._

Kurt blushed. ‘Make love’ was a sweeter, kinder, more romantic term for what Sebastian actually wanted to do to him, but it made Kurt feel hot inside all the same.

_Cause any old time in your prime is a time to give in_

Sebastian winked at him as began to sway them to the rhythm of the song, and Kurt was _definitely_ swooning now. Not that he’d ever admit it to Sebastian. His ego really didn’t need boosting.

_How sweet to be sweet to you_

Kurt giggled when Sebastian nuzzled his nose against Kurt’s nose, his breath minty and warm against Kurt’s lips before he backed away to keep singing. Sebastian whirled him around the kitchen, spinning him around, moving so much that Kurt was laughing and couldn’t hear half of the words. Sebastian stopped them suddenly, and looked Kurt straight in the eyes as he sang the next line.

_I’d love to make love to you. Please say that you want me to._

Sebastian’s hands tightened on Kurt’s waist, and Kurt didn’t even think about it, he leaned in and kissed Sebastian. It was a little sloppy at first, but they melted together after a few moments, sweet and slow, but then Sebastian’s hand slipped a little and Kurt gasped. Sebastian took advantage of his open mouth to suck Kurt’s bottom lip into his mouth.

“Fuck,” Sebastian gasped once they’d broken apart. “Definitely not complaining, but what was that for, babe?”

Kurt smiled and batted his eyelashes. “I was overcome with lust,” he teased, although it was entirely true. “You can’t sing things like that at me and expect me not to react.”

Sebastian grinned at him, a huge, silly grin and the Kurt couldn’t help but return. “So would you say that you…swooned?”

Kurt laughed. “Don’t you think it’s time to check on the pasta?”

 

* * *

 

Dinner was done, they were on the couch talking softly, and Kurt kept wondering when **_it_** was going to happen. That song in the kitchen…Sebastian had chosen to sing that to him. Sebastian clearly wanted to have sex tonight. Kurt could feel it. He was nervous, felt unprepared, but he wanted it so very much. He could barely keep up with the conversation, because he was constantly distracted by Sebastian’s lips, his sharp green eyes, the way his throat moved as he talked. He kept looking at Sebastian’s hands, the stretch of his shirt over the muscles he knew were there, the ones he’d gotten to look at briefly last time in the dark.

“Kurt?”

Hearing his name jolted him out of the fuzzy headspace of anticipation and desire, and he actually let out a small gasp of surprise. “Y-yes?”

Sebastian’s brow furrowed, and he turned more towards Kurt. “Are you all right? You’ve been awfully quiet.”

“I was thinking…about that song.”

Sebastian’s eyes seemed to grow darker, and a thin smile spread across his lips. “Yeah? What about it?”

“I want you to,” Kurt said shakily. “I want…I want you to take me to bed.”

Sebastian’s lips parted and Kurt just couldn’t stop watching them. “What do you want me to do there? Cuddle?”

In spite of everything, Kurt couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

“I want you to take off my clothes,” Kurt whispered. “And I want… I want you to _touch_ me. I want…God, I want…” He couldn’t say it, couldn’t say ‘make love’ because he knew that wasn’t what Sebastian actually meant, but he couldn’t say ‘fuck me’ just yet either.  

“You’re so sweet,” Sebastian murmured. “You’ve been dying for me to fuck you for ages, but you’re too shy to say it. You have no idea what that does to me.”

Kurt whimpered. “Please?” he begged. “Don’t you want to?”

“Shit, baby, of course I do,” Sebastian groaned. “I want to fucking _ruin_ you. I want to make you scream, make you forget all about being shy.”

“I want you to. I’ll let you,” Kurt promised.

Just like last time, Kurt let himself be pulled down the hall, into Sebastian’s room. Sebastian was less gentle this time, and so was Kurt. He was hungry, desperate, _needy_ for Sebastian’s touch. He sighed in relief once they were finally completely naked and Sebastian was touching him everywhere like he was trying to memorize him just by feel.

He didn’t protest when Sebastian pushed him down on the bed, only felt excited when Sebastian went to the bedside drawer for lube before joining him on the bed.

“Have you ever fingered yourself?” Sebastian asked, his breath hot against Kurt’s ear.

Kurt bit his lip, face growing hot at the question. “No,” he whispered. Then he swallowed. “Should I have?”

Sebastian closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Kurt’s, a faint smile curving his lips. “Just when I think you can’t get any more innocent…”

Kurt didn’t know what to say to that, but in all honesty, he didn’t want to speak right now. Speaking required thinking and the last thing he wanted to do in right now was think. He only wanted to lose himself in the feeling of Sebastian’s hands and lips making a slow path down his chest. The only sounds he made were tiny gasps and whimpers that he couldn’t help but let out, sounds he tried to muffle by biting down on his fist.

“Stop doing that,” Sebastian said, taking Kurt by surprise.

“What?” Kurt tried to sit up, wide eyed, but Sebastian’s hands were pressing his hips into the bed too tightly for Kurt to do much.

Sebastian kissed Kurt’s belly, and petted over it soothingly with one hand. “Didn’t mean to startle you, sweetheart. Just, don’t cover up your sounds. I fucking love the sounds you make.”

Kurt blushed, but nodded, then let himself sink back into the bed, hands falling loose and open by his sides. His belly clenched up tight when Sebastian started sucking hard just inside the curve of his hipbone. He knew there would be a mark there later, and he smiled to himself. He wanted to feel it later, wanted proof this wasn’t some kind of insanely vivid dream.

He whimpered when Sebastian pushed his legs apart and reached for the lube.

Sebastian looked up at him. “Is this all right?”

“Yeah, sorry,” Kurt laughed, his voice breathy. “I just, you know, its new.”

Sebastian’s eyes were soft, even as he uncapped the lube and dripped some on the tip of one finger. “Promise you’ll tell me if it’s too much?”

Kurt nodded, nestled his head into the pillow, staring off to the side, out the window. He tensed for a moment when Sebastian spread his cheeks apart, clenched up and let out a gasp when Sebastian pressed a cool, slick finger against his hole. He just kept it there, rubbing up and down, tight little circles that Kurt’s body kept clenching up against before relaxing again.

“God,” Kurt exhaled. He’d never realized how sensitive he was _there,_ that it would feel so good just to be touched like this. If he’d known, he might have actually gotten up the courage to finger himself at some point.

“Good?”

“Yeah,” Kurt breathed, fingers tightening a little in the sheets.

Sebastian stopped rubbing, and a few moments later, Kurt felt the cold drip of lube against his ass.

He squealed, then blushed. “It’s cold,” he said, feeling the need to explain himself.

Sebastian laughed, then his finger pushed insistently at Kurt’s hole. Kurt tightened up reflexively, and jerked a little in surprise when he felt Sebastian’s breath hot against his dick.

Kurt went up on his elbows, looking down in surprise. He almost had to close his eyes again—seeing Sebastian between his legs, mouth so close to his cock, eyes burning with want was almost too much.

“I think you need to relax,” Sebastian murmured, before leaning in and licking a stripe up Kurt’s cock.

“Fuck,” Kurt gasped, unable to stop twitching and moaning as Sebastian licked at him slowly. He was so busy trying to come to grips with the incredible wet heat of Sebastian’s mouth on his cock that he didn’t realize that Sebastian was still pressing his finger against Kurt’s hole until it slid in.

Kurt’s mouth fell open, he tried to make a sound but he just couldn’t because nothing had ever felt like _this._ Sebastian took the head of his cock into his mouth and Kurt couldn’t stop his hips from pushing up desperately for more.

“ _Shit,”_ he hissed, unable to keep quiet as Sebastian began sucking at him.

Sebastian had to pull away, because he was laughing a bit. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you curse this much before.” He slid more of his finger inside, grinning when Kurt let out a sweet little gasp. “I think I like it.”

“Please, don’t stop, please, _please,”_ Kurt begged. He registered that what Sebastian had said was true, and it was a bit funny, but he mostly wanted Sebastian’s mouth around his cock. Nothing else seemed to matter right now.

At least, he thought nothing else mattered until Sebastian started moving his finger, in and out, slowly, smoothly. “More,” Kurt gasped. He just knew it would feel so much better with two fingers.

Sebastian pulled away from his cock to grab the lube, his finger stopped and slid out. Kurt was about to protest, because he’d asked for more, not _nothing,_ but his complaint was cut off when he felt two fingers slipping inside of him. He was surprised at how quickly he adjusted to it, at how much he wanted Sebastian to just go faster, harder. He was about to break down and beg for it when something happened that he just wasn’t expecting.

Sebastian’s fingers had been twisted, curling, moving deliciously against every bit of Kurt’s walls they touched, but then Sebastian’s fingers ran across something new, something that made Kurt pull the sheets so hard he swore that one corner of it popped out from under the mattress. He heard himself crying out, thrusting back against Sebastian’s fingers, cursing, moaning, begging. Whatever the hell Sebastian was doing to him was so good it was almost too much, but he never wanted it to stop.

But stop it did, and Sebastian was calling his name in a tone of voice that seemed alarmed.

“I’m fine,” Kurt gasped out. “Why’d you stop?”

Sebastian tilted his head curiously. “You’re crying, Kurt.”

“What?” Kurt took a moment to breathe, to come back to himself and he realized that yes, his cheeks were wet. He raised a hand to them, and wiped it away. “I’m fine, I swear. It’s so good,” he said, his voice husky. “It’s so good I can’t stand it, but I don’t want you to stop.”

Sebastian grinned, and went back down on Kurt’s cock, sucking him deeper now as his fingers began to really fuck into Kurt’s ass, pressing against the place inside him that made his vision go white at random intervals.

Kurt realized after a while that someone was panting, loud, desperate, alarmingly fast. And then he felt his chest rising and falling and realized it was him. Sebastian was massaging that spot inside of him relentlessly while going down insanely deep on his cock, so deep that Kurt could feel the back of his throat, and Kurt knew that he was going to come very, very soon.

“Sebastian,” he gasped out, trying to give warning, because his fucking _mouth_ was on Kurt’s cock. Kurt had no idea if Sebastian would want him to come in his mouth like that.

Kurt looked down and Sebastian’s eyes were trained on him, watching hungrily. It was almost too much to look at, Sebastian’s mouth around him, eyes hazy and wanting while he made Kurt fall apart with pleasure.

“Fuck,” Kurt panted. “I’m, shit, I’m—I’m, you have to stop or I’m gonna—“ Kurt was trying to speak but it all came out in a series of loud breaths and moans and he grabbed desperately at Sebastian’s hair to pull him off but that only made Sebastian try to go deeper on his dick.

He couldn’t stop it, couldn’t stop it for anything, his hand clenched in Sebastian’s hair and he closed his eyes, body spasming wildly as he came. And came. And _came._ He didn’t even know how Sebastian was swallowing it all when Kurt couldn’t seem to stop coming. Sebastian kept sucking and swallowing and fucking with his fingers and Kurt heard himself cursing and moaning and begging and then it was too much.  He tugged sharply and Sebastian pulled off, him, slowly slid his fingers out.

Kurt watched in a daze as Sebastian straddled his hips and took his own cock in hand. Kurt licked his lips, reached out without thinking, and wrapped his hands around Sebastian’s dick and stroked. He knew it was clumsy, not perfect, but he wasn’t sure how he was even moving his arm right now, so perfection would have to wait. Sebastian didn’t seem to mind, his hips fucking in and out of Kurt’s soft grip as he said things Kurt could barely register.

Sebastian bent down, kissed Kurt, and Kurt opened for him eagerly, sliding his tongue in and tasting himself there. His hand squeezed tighter around Sebastian’s cock and that’s all that was needed. Sebastian bit down on Kurt’s lip as he came, ropes of come shooting over Kurt’s belly, some of it almost making it to his chest. They kept kissing through it all, slow, lazy, until all they were really doing was breathing into each other’s mouths.

Kurt’s lips were wet, sore, and he felt his bottom lip throbbing where Sebastian had bit it. He wanted to say something, but he didn’t know what he could possibly say that made sense in this moment. So he just shivered in silent pleasure as Sebastian ran his finger through his own come on Kurt’s body and smeared it on Kurt’s lips. Kurt’s tongue darted out automatically. It was tangy, salty, maybe a bit bitter--nothing special but not entirely unpleasant.

“Fuck,” Sebastian said finally. “I can’t even get hard right now but seeing you lick my fucking come off your lips makes me wish I could.”

Kurt grinned, a stupid silly grin that would be out of place if he weren’t so damn happy. It had taken a moment to come back to himself after coming that hard, but when he’d been able to think again, the first thing he thought was that he’d never felt so content in his whole damn life.

“Sebastian. I…what did you _do_ to me?” he asked, wincing when he realized how dry his throat was.

Sebastian rolled on his side and propped himself up on elbow. “What do you mean?”

Kurt licked his lips and his eyes slid shut when he realized that he could still taste Sebastian there. “When you had your fingers in me, you touched something that…fuck, it was _incredible.”_

Sebastian grinned, his whole face smug as he understood what Kurt was talking about. “Oh, _that_. I’ve never made a guy cry in bed because I was so good before. I gotta tell you, it’s doing great things for my ego.”

Kurt huffed out a laugh and punched Sebastian lightly on the arm. “Like you need an ego boost. Now answer my question.”

“You’ve never heard of the prostate before?”

Kurt’s mouth dropped open. “ _That’s_ what that was?”

Sebastian nodded, and it was clear he was trying not to laugh. “Yep. Making anal sex awesome for guys since the dawn of time.”

Kurt laughed so hard he snorted, then covered his mouth in embarrassment.

“Don’t,” Sebastian said softly. “It’s cute.”

“I just snorted,” Kurt said. “Nothing about that is cute.”

“I love everything about you. Even when you laugh so hard you snort like a pig.”

“I did _not_ sound like a pig!” Kurt insisted. His heart was beating fast over the word ‘love,’ over the way Sebastian’s eyes had gone soft when he said it, but he was determined to keep things light.

Sebastian grinned at him. “Wanna bet?”

Kurt was about to answer, but then Sebastian was tickling him and he squealed loudly in surprise before dissolving into breathless giggles. He begged Sebastian to stop as he thrashed under him and Sebastian relented a few moments later.

“You squeal like a pig, too,” Sebastian teased.

Kurt huffed, but he wasn’t really annoyed. As he looked into Sebastian’s eyes, green and bright and beautiful, alight with mischief, he realized that he wasn’t anything but completely and totally in love.

_Fuck._

* * *

 

“So what’s the surprise?”

Sebastian had texted him a quick message saying that he needed to see Kurt immediately, so Kurt had agreed to come over after work.

“I’m going back to New York in two weeks!” Sebastian burst out, a huge grin lighting up his face.

Kurt froze. He knew this had to happen soon, but he hadn’t been expecting to happen so fast. “That’s…great,” he said after a pause he hoped wasn’t too long.

“That’s not even the best part,” Sebastian said quickly.

“Yeah?”

“I have to go there to take care of some business this weekend, and…I want you to come with me. Say you will?”

Kurt’s mouth fell open. He was going to say yes, of course; he wanted to soak up every minute with Sebastian that he had left, but he didn’t know how he was going to slip this one by his dad. “I want to, it’s just…my dad.”

Sebastian’s face fell a bit. “Right. Well, you told him about me, didn’t you?”

Kurt looked away guiltily. “I told him your name and that you were a lawyer, but that was about it.”

“Well, fuck,” Sebastian exhaled. “I wish I was seventeen, and could tell you to fuck what your dad would say, and just run off with me, but….we really can’t do that.”

“No,” Kurt agreed. “We can’t. He can’t stop me from going, of course, but I do need to talk to him. So…give me a chance to do that, and then…then I’ll call you later?”

“Can you stay for dinner, at least?”

Kurt smiled. “I would say yes, but dinner always ends up with me at least half naked in your bed, and there’s really not time for that.”

Sebastian grinned as he pushed Kurt up against a wall. He leaned in, stopping mere inches from Kurt’s face. “You sure?”

Kurt was counting the minutes in his head and thought that there’d probably be time for hand jobs, at least, if they were quick. He was about to suggest this, but Sebastian waggled his eyebrows and that sort of killed the mood because Kurt just couldn’t stop laughing at that. He leaned in to give Sebastian a quick kiss, and nipped at his bottom lip when Sebastian kept trying to deepen the kiss.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m the 31 year old and you’re the 19 year old,” Kurt scolded when Sebastian pulled away to reveal pouting lips and a petulant expression. “You need to behave yourself.”  

“Do I?” Sebastian asked, smirking.

Kurt put hands on his chest and pushed him back. “Absolutely. Now I’m leaving before you distract me again.”

Sebastian’s brow furrowed. “Again?”

Kurt nodded. “I was totally going to suggest hand jobs, but you just couldn’t behave, so I don’t trust you to exercise proper restraint.”

“Aww, come on, baby,” Sebastian cooed, snuggling up behind Kurt and wrapping his arms around Kurt’s waist.

Kurt shivered at the touch, but twisted his way out of Sebastian’s grasp. “No way.” He backed up towards the door, and opened it, but hesitated when Sebastian pouted at him.

“Oh _all right,”_ Kurt sighed, crooking his finger and beckoning Sebastian over. The speed with which Sebastian came to him was extremely gratifying, and Kurt couldn’t help the smug smile that spread over his face.

Sebastian also looked smug as he tugged on Kurt’s wrist, but Kurt pulled it away, shaking his head.

“Close your eyes,” Kurt whispered.

Sebastian did, and Kurt took one moment to just look at him, then leaned in. The kiss was deep, slow, warm, sensual--enough to make Kurt want to forget about talking to his dad and just lose himself in how Sebastian made him feel. But he forced himself to pull away and back himself out the door.

“I’ll call you later,” Kurt said, panting a little.

Sebastian nodded. “Don’t make me wait too long. I…I really am excited about you coming with me.”

Kurt gave him a tight, thin lipped smile, said goodbye, and turned away.

 

* * *

 

Kurt waited until he and his father were firmly engrossed in a particularly interesting episode of _House Hunters: International Edition_ to bring Sebastian up.

“So, Dad, speaking of traveling, I’m going to New York this weekend.”

Kurt felt the sofa shift and when he looked up, his dad was facing him, arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

“Is that so?”

Kurt nodded, but he knew his face was red and that he probably was failing at appearing assertive like he’d hoped he would. “Yeah. With Sebastian.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You can’t say no!” Kurt burst out. “I’m…I’m my own man, just like you said earlier.”

His dad let a deep, loud, long sigh, his hands pressing into his face as if to remind himself that he was here and this was, in fact, happening.

“No, I can’t say no,” he said slowly. “But you can’t expect me not to care just because you’re a legal adult.”

“Well, no. But I just thought you should know. So. I’m telling you that I’m going to be gone by the time you get back from work tomorrow.”

“Christ,” Burt breathed. “Look. I’m going to be one hundred percent honest with you. I am _not_ comfortable with this. You’re going to run off with some strange guy I don’t know who you won’t talk about. What am I supposed to think? How do I know you’re going to be safe?”

“I am safe with him,” Kurt said softly. “He’d never hurt me.”

Burt’s eyebrows shot up even further. “You sound like you really, _really_ like him.”

Kurt felt himself glowing red. “Yes. I do. I really, _really_ like him. This weekend is really important.”

He paused, wondering how to continue, but the only words that came to him were the truth. “He’s going to be moving to New York. I’m not going to see him anymore after that. And I just…want to enjoy every last minute I have left. Can’t you understand that?”

“It ain’t about understanding, Kurt. I know what love feels like. I also know what worrying about your kid feels like. Like you already said, I can’t keep you from going, but I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. Can’t you understand _that?”_

“I’m going,” Kurt said. “But…what would make you feel better about him?”

“Meeting him,” Burt grumbled.

Kurt sucked in a breath. “I don’t know that that’s going to be a good idea seeing as we’ll be over soon.”

“Well, you could tell me something about him? Besides the fact that he has a name and is a lawyer.”

Kurt didn’t even know where to begin. “You know that law firm…Smythe, Sterling and Duval?”

“Yes…does he work there or something?”

“Well, sort of. I mean. His name is Sebastian Smythe.”

“WHAT?” Burt roared, jumping to his feet. “YOU’RE DATING THE GUY IN THOSE COMMERCIALS?”

Kurt was taken aback by his father’s reaction, and thought back to the commercials he’d seen for the law firm. Then he felt horrified. “He’s like sixty!” he exclaimed.

“I _know,”_ Burt said, still angry. “What the hell is going on Kurt? This _is_ crazy!”

“No,” Kurt said, laughing. “You don’t understand. I’m dating his son.”

Burt deflated. “Oh. Well, how old is he?”

Kurt twisted his lips, wondering what kind of reaction _this_ was going to get. “Thirty-one,” he said quietly.

Burt scratched the back of his neck. “I…I don’t really like that either. But. That’s way less awful than sixty.”

Kurt couldn’t stop a hysterical giggle from bubbling up in his throat. “God, Dad. I just. I can’t believe you thought…”

“Hey, the old dudes are the only ones in those commercials!” Burt said defensively, but he was smiling, too. He sat back down, sinking into the couch. “So. You’re dating a lawyer.”

“For now,” Kurt said softly. “Like I said, he’s moving to New York, and that’ll be that.”

“Wait, why?” Burt asked, confused. “Not that I’m _thrilled_ about you dating someone so much older than you, but…you’re going to go to school up there at some point, aren’t you?”

Kurt shrugged. “Yeah, well. I don’t know when that’s going to be. And I don’t expect him to wait for me anything.”

Burt sighed again. “Well, I’m still not entirely comfortable with this, but….I hope…I hope it’s everything you want it to be. Be safe. I just don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you, Kurt.”

“Nothing’s going to happen to me, Dad,” Kurt said softly, crawling over on the couch to give his dad a quick hug.  “I promise.”

His dad squeezed him tight, and held him there for a long moment before letting him go.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

Kurt knew that Sebastian had money, but he hadn’t quite realized what that meant. It meant flying first class. It meant getting picked up by a limo and not having to even so much as touch your bags, let alone carry them. It meant getting to stay in the city’s glitziest, most glamorous hotels.

“Wait,” Kurt said, as they slowed down in front of a hotel not too far from Central Park. “I thought we were going to your apartment…”

Sebastian flashed him a grin. “We are.”

Kurt could feel his mouth drop. “But…we’re in front of a hotel.”

“Yep,” Sebastian confirmed. “We are. Wait ‘til you see the inside.”

Kurt finally understood what ‘gobsmacked’ meant. He’d always thought it was a ridiculous word, but there really was nothing else that described the sense of complete astonishment he was feeling as Sebastian led him through the fanciest hotel lobby he’d ever been in and into an elevator off to the side.

“Are you okay?” Sebastian asked, his voice betraying his amusement as he swiped a card through a reader, then pressed the button for the fifty third floor.

Kurt just stared at him. “You actually live here. This is not a joke?”

Sebastian couldn’t stop himself from laughing. “Yeah, I live here. Really though, are you all right?”

“Uhm…I don’t even know. Just. Wow!”

“You’re adorable, Sebastian said softly, his eyes crinkling as he smiled widely. “We’ve got a bit of time, you know. Maybe I can distract you?”

Kurt was still too busy trying to close his mouth to think clearly, so he furrowed his eyebrows and said, “What?”

Sebastian laughed softly as he put his hands around Kurt’s hips, and used his grip to push Kurt against the wall.

“Oh,” Kurt breathed. “Won’t, won’t someone see us?”

Sebastian grinned. “Don’t know, but isn’t that half the fun?”

Then Sebastian leaned in and pressed his lips gently to Kurt’s. When Kurt didn’t protest, he licked into Kurt’s mouth. Kurt responded eagerly, his hands clutching into the soft heavy fabric of Sebastian’s coat. Sebastian was kissing him harder than usual, frantic, faster, his hips were pinning Kurt’s into the wall, and it was driving Kurt crazy. He knew that he was being louder than he should be, but he’d never been so turned on so fast. One of Sebastian’s hands slipped under his thigh, and Kurt bent it, allowing Sebastian to wrap it around his hip. Kurt’s trembling fingers were trying their best to undo Sebastian’s coat, he just wanted to _touch—_

The elevator was slowing down. It took Kurt a second to realize what that meant. It was going to stop, and the doors would open soon.

He tore his lips away and pushed at Sebastian’s chest. Sebastian didn’t move, though.

“Sebastian!” Kurt whined. “It’s about to stop.”

“I know,” Sebastian answered. He bent his head and started sucking at the side of Kurt’s throat.

Kurt couldn’t _think_ with Sebastian’s lips on him like that. “Sebastian…”

“Relax, babe.” Sebastian stepped back just in time for the elevator to open.

When he stepped out, he was surprised to find himself in a foyer, not a hallway with doors.

“…is that a private elevator then?” Kurt asked.

Sebastian grinned. “Kind of. But you didn’t know that. And you were willing to risk making out with me anyway.”

Kurt blushed. The threat of getting caught _had_ made things exciting.

Sebastian was looking at him like he knew exactly what Kurt was thinking, and Kurt felt his blush deepen.

Kurt finally took a look at the apartment and forgot about the elevator or feeling awkward as he took it all in. Sebastian had been right—his contemporary and comfortable apartment was _nothing_ compared to this place. One wall of the living room was covered by, floor to ceiling windows. Kurt felt himself drawn to them, and before he knew it, his hands were pushing past the sheer white curtains to press against the cool glass.

“You can see everything from up here,” he whispered, awestruck by the way the bright lights of the city seemed to shine on forever.

“You can,” Sebastian confirmed. “That’s a huge part of why I chose this place.”

Kurt turned to him. “It’s incredible,” he murmured. He went away from the window and ran his fingers over the back of the leather sofa, saw his reflection in the obscenely large TV as he passed by to marvel at the sleek stainless steel kitchen.

“Should I give you the grand tour?” Sebastian asked, his voice rich with amusement at Kurt’s awestruck wonder.

Kurt nodded dumbly and let himself be led around the lower level. There was a spacious office, a small half bath, a tiny guest suite, all of which were elegantly and expensively furnished. Everything was light colors, beige, cream and white with touches of blue and yellow. It made everything seem warm and inviting, and Kurt wanted to sink right in and claim part of this place as his own.

There was a small landing upstairs that led to a gorgeous balcony with a small table and chairs. If it weren’t so cold out Kurt could have leaned against the railing and stared out over the skyline forever. But it was freezing, so they spent little time out there, and went to the only other room on the top level—the master suite. The bed was bigger than any he’d ever seen, the bedroom easily double the size of his room at home. It left plenty of room for a cozy corner with a lamp, armchair and small coffee table. The bathroom gleamed floor to ceiling with beautiful white marble.

The whole apartment was incredibly beautiful, but nothing was better than the bathtub.  It was large enough for two people, and there was a large window over one side. Kurt could easily see himself placing candles in the windowsill, sitting back and staring out at the skyline while soaking in hot fragrant water. Then he shook his head. This wasn’t his apartment and he wouldn’t ever be coming back here.

“Holy shit,” Kurt said finally. “This place is a _palace.”_

Sebastian laughed at that. “I’m glad you like it.”

Kurt opened his mouth to reply, but then his stomach gave a grumble and Sebastian laughed again.   

“You’re hungry,” Sebastian said obviously. He looked down at his watch. “Would you mind if we ordered in? I’ve got to be up and out early so I can be done with my business by lunch time.”

“What happens after lunch?”

Sebastian smiled. “Then I get to spend the day with you.”

Kurt felt his heart flutter. Sebastian said that like it was the best possible thing he could be doing. Which obviously wasn’t true—Sebastian could do anything. Spending the day with Kurt couldn’t really be anything particularly special. But the idea of it was pretty nice. Kurt nodded, and then was surprised when Sebastian asked if he could order for him.

They’d eaten together a million times, so Kurt figured Sebastian would probably pick something he’d like.

“Do you want to unpack while I order?”

Kurt shrugged and followed Sebastian out of the bathroom. It was a little strange, unpacking the few items of clothing in his suitcase and fitting them in among a closet half full of Sebastian’s things. His heart gave a little pang as he arranged his toiletries at one of the sinks in the bathroom. The idea of going through his morning skin routine while Sebastian shaved next to him was just as appealing as it was foolish.

This weekend was all they were going to have. When they got back to Lima Kurt was going to start pulling back, so that he wouldn’t miss Sebastian all of a sudden when he left in less than two weeks. Kurt couldn’t think about a future. Even if things were different and he’d actually applied to school and was going to be in New York, he couldn’t be with Sebastian. Sebastian wouldn’t want him when there was a city full of men who could keep up with him.

When Kurt came down the stairs, Sebastian was waiting for him with the fireplace on, a bottle of white wine and two glasses. They sipped slowly, sitting so close on the couch they were almost cuddling as Sebastian apologetically answered a few emails. Once, Sebastian looked over at him and pressed a kiss to the side of his head before continuing on. Sebastian didn’t say why, and Kurt didn’t know what to make of it, so he tried not to feel sad about how much he was going to miss this.

Nothing had gone like he thought it would. When Sebastian first proposed this arrangement, he’d thought that it would all be sex between them, appointments they’d keep and then not talk after they went their respective ways. Instead he’d gotten a first date, hours of tender kisses that made him ache, and more happiness than he could have ever imagined.

When Kurt really thought about how things had played out, he marveled at how little sex they’d had. Of course, whenever they were alone, they ended up doing _something,_ hand jobs, blowjobs, Sebastian had even fingered him once more. But Sebastian didn’t seem in any sort of hurry to fuck him, and seemed more concerned with making Kurt come as many times as possible than teaching Kurt how to make _him_ feel good. Which Kurt kind of thought had been the point of this whole arrangement.

Dinner arrived in the middle of this line of thought, so Kurt put it out of his mind. It wasn’t difficult, because the food was incredible. The dinner Sebastian had ordered for them was decadent, delicious and full of things Kurt hadn’t even heard of. The best part, however, was the chocolaty, minty cheesecake they had for desert. Kurt was so eager to eat it that he got chocolate on his fingers and had to lick it off.

“Holy shit, Kurt,” Sebastian said as he did so.

Kurt’s eyes flickered upwards in the middle of pulling one of his fingers from his mouth. “What?” he asked, before licking at another sticky finger.

“You are being so unfair right now.”

Kurt’s brows furrowed, then he thought about what he was doing and blushed. He hadn’t been trying to do _anything_ but clean his fingers, but…well. He still had another finger left, and he slowly licked up it, making sure to look into Sebastian’s eyes as he did so.

“Fuck it,” Sebastian said quickly, standing up.

“What?” Kurt asked in alarm, wondering if he’d done something wrong.

“Come upstairs with me,” Sebastian said softly.

“But what about the dishes?” Kurt asked, blushing after he’d said it.

Sebastian barked out a short laugh. “Kurt. You’re…God, I just…I…”

Kurt was dying to know what Sebastian wasn’t saying, but Sebastian just closed his mouth and shook his head.

“Will you come to bed with me?”

Kurt nodded and followed him up the stairs, heart in his throat.

* * *

 

Given the way Sebastian had quickly decided that he wanted Kurt in bed _now,_ Kurt was surprised at how slowly and tenderly Sebastian undressed him, at how long he kissed and caressed Kurt all over in fairly innocent places. The slide of Sebastian’s large hands up and down his sides made him shiver.

“Kurt,” Sebastian whispered against his collarbone before pressing a kiss there. “You don’t have to say yes to this, but…God, I really want to be inside you tonight.”

“Okay,” Kurt said softly.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I…I really want you to,” Kurt said, voice still soft and shy.

“God,” Sebastian breathed. “You want me to open you up and fuck you?”

 _Fuck,_ he loved it when Sebastian talked to him like that.

“ _Please.”_

Kurt was whimpering already, but he didn’t even care.

“Turn over,” Sebastian commanded, nipping at Kurt’s ear before pulling back to allow Kurt to move.

Kurt flipped over, feeling excited and terrified all at the same time. He didn’t know what to expect, and he just hoped that…that he wouldn’t be disappointing.

He put those thoughts out of his mind and focused on the way Sebastian was kissing down the middle of his back. When Sebastian reached the base of his spine, Kurt let out a little gasp, because Sebastian didn’t stop there like Kurt would have expected. It felt strange and dirty to have someone literally kissing his ass, and a hysterical giggle threatened to bubble its way out of him at the thought. He squeaked when he felt teeth nipping gently at one cheek.

“Couldn’t resist,” Sebastian said, his voice full of laughter. “Those little noises you make are so, so cute.”

Kurt just smiled in response, even though he knew Sebastian couldn’t see it. The smile was shocked off his face when Sebastian grabbed his ass and spread his cheeks apart a bit. He gasped in shock, feeling horribly exposed like this.

“What are you doing?”

“Gonna make you feel so good, baby.” Sebastian’s breath was hot against his skin, and it made him shiver. “Let me?”

Kurt swallowed hard. He had the feeling that he knew what Sebastian was going to do, and it made him nervous. He was curious, though, and Sebastian was constantly showing him things about his body that he never could have guessed.

“Uhm, okay.”

“You don’t have to say yes,” Sebastian reminded him, his hands moving up to stroke at Kurt’s sides. “We can do anything you want--this is all for you.”

_All for you._

Kurt didn’t know how it was that Sebastian always managed to find a way to make him heart flutter in his chest no matter what they were doing, and he sighed softly.

“What if...” _What if it’s gross or dirty?_ “...what if you don’t like it?”

Sebastian’s hands were big on the small of his back, rubbing softly. “I promise you, I really, _really_ like doing this. But we really don’t have to. There’s so much more we can do.”

“Okay,” Kurt breathed. “I want to try it. You always make me feel _amazing.”_

“You’re going to love this,” Sebastian promised. He put his hands back on Kurt’s ass, but paused for a moment. “You’re sure you want to?”  

Kurt’s response was to settle back into the bed and part his legs a little more.It seemed that he lay there, spread open and vulnerable for an eternity before Sebastian dragged the slick flat of his tongue up from Kurt’s balls to the top of his crack.

“Fuck!” Kurt shrieked.

He’d known that Sebastian was intending to do that, figured it might feel good because Sebastian’s mouth on his cock was _amazing,_ but he hadn’t been prepared for that. Nothing could have prepared him for how intense Sebastian’s mouth would be as it licked and sucked and kissed all between his legs. He was getting wet and sloppy, slick with spit as Sebastian slurped noisily behind him, but he didn’t care. He was startlingly loud as he whimpered and cursed and gripped the sheets tight in his hands. Then Sebastian’s tongue was stabbing at his tightly clenched hole, and he couldn’t _possibly_ be about to--

“Oh my _Gooood,”_ Kurt moaned, hips wiggling back on to Sebastian’s tongue, wanting him deeper.

He could feel Sebastian smile against his skin before wriggling his tongue inside Kurt, and that was it, he couldn’t _take_ anymore.

“Fuck, _stop_!” Kurt gasped.

Sebastian pulled away and peppered kisses onto Kurt’s trembling thighs. “What’s wrong?” He slid a hand up to one of Kurt’s and gave it a squeeze.

Kurt lifted himself on his elbows and twisted around a bit so he could see Sebastian. “Nothing it was just...it was too much; I’m getting so close,” he panted.

“Oh?” Sebastian murmured, a smug grin stretching his lips. “Good.”

He was licking faster, harder now, tongue flicking sinfully against Kurt, driving him fucking crazy.  Kurt clenched up all over every time his tongue caught on the rim of Kurt’s wet, open hole. The sounds his tongue was making were filthy, dirty, and Kurt _loved_ them.

Sebastian shoved his tongue back inside of Kurt’s hole, and Kurt was basically humping the bed now, so fucking hard and fast that Sebastian had to grip his hips tight enough to bruise to hold him still enough to keep going. Kurt felt himself trying to speak, trying to tell Sebastian that he was going to come, but all that came out was a strangled scream and something that sounded like Sebastian’s name as his cock twitched and spilled messily onto the bed.

Kurt felt like he came forever, like he couldn’t ever stop because Sebastian was still lapping softly at his still-clenching hole.

“Fuck, I _can’t,”_ Kurt panted.

“You’d be surprised,” Sebastian answered, out of breath as well. “I bet you’d come so fast if I didn’t stop.”

Kurt was half terrified, half hopeful that Sebastian would just keep going, but he was relieved when Sebastian moved to lay next to him and pushed at Kurt’s shoulders to get him to turn on his side so they were facing each other.

Sebastian’s lips were shiny with spit and it made Kurt feel completely filthy in the best sort of way.

“So, how was that?” Sebastian asked, his face smug.

Kurt pressed a hand over his eyes and sighed deeply. “You _know_ it was amazing. I didn’t even know people did things like that…”

Sebastian’s eyebrows twitched, and Kurt had the distinct feeling he wanted to raise them.

Kurt blushed anyway. “Well…I mean. Uhm. I don’t really…I never exactly researched these sorts of things.”

“As in…no porn?”  

Kurt pursed his lips. “I tried once but it was actually sort of terrifying, so…” He shuddered at the memory, then had a sudden stab of fear that Sebastian would want to do things like _that_ to him.

Sebastian couldn’t stop himself from a little giggle. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m not laughing at you, it’s just…you’re so fucking sweet.”

Kurt shrugged and squirmed a little. “I guess…”

“So,” Sebastian said lightly, “If you don’t ever watch porn, what do you think about when you get yourself off?”

Kurt blushed and turned his face into the pillow. “Oh my _god,”_ he rushed out. “Sebastian! I can’t believe you just asked me that!” He knew he sounded like a scandalized nun, but he really hadn’t been expecting that.

“Fuck,” Sebastian swore, laughing a little. “You are so…so fucking cute. I just ate you out and you’re embarrassed to talk about jerking off.”

Kurt hid his face in the pillow, embarrassed even though he was smiling. It _was_ kind of funny. And ridiculous.

Sebastian pushed at his shoulders. “C’mon, don’t hide from me, darling.”

Darling. That was new, and it only made Kurt’s smile wider as he peeked up at Sebastian.

“Really,” Sebastian said softly, “tell me what you think about when you touch yourself.”

Kurt nuzzled his head into Sebastian’s chest so that he didn’t have to look at his face. “You,” he admitted.

“Really?” Sebastian sounded surprised, and very happy about that fact.

“Yeah,” Kurt breathed into his neck. He smiled a little when Sebastian shivered at the brush of Kurt’s lips on his skin.

“Aren’t you going to tell me more?” Sebastian asked, a hint of a whine in his voice.

Kurt couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Absolutely not.”

He pressed a kiss to Sebastian’s neck, then pulled back so he could look at Sebastian’s face. He wanted to see Sebastian’s reaction to what he was about to say.

“I thought you were going to…uhm…fuck me tonight,” he said, proud of himself for not whispering, and wishing that he wasn’t blushing, wishing that he’d been able to get it out with stumbling over the words.

It didn’t seem to matter, because in spite of the way Kurt had said it, it was obvious that his words had had a profound effect on Sebastian.

“Do you still want me to, baby?”

It was normal when they were in bed together, but Kurt couldn’t get over Sebastian calling him baby.

“Yeah. I want it. I’ve _been_ wanting it,”  Kurt confessed.

“For how long?”

Kurt didn’t even have to think about it. “I would have let you that first night. I’d let you do almost anything to me.”

Kurt wanted to take it back, felt like it was too much to admit that much trust, but it was true. Sebastian had yet to lead him wrong, and he felt so safe when they were together.

“God, don’t say that if you don’t mean it,” Sebastian whispered, his eyes closing like the words were too much to hear. Clearly, Kurt saying that had made Sebastian think of something sad.

“I’m sorry if I shouldn’t have said that,” Kurt said quickly. “I’m—“

“Shhh,” Sebastian soothed. “Just…did you mean it?”

Kurt nodded, his throat tight.

Sebastian’s face softened as he smiled. “Then it wasn’t the wrong thing to say. It’s just…I’m not used to people trusting me.”

Kurt’s brows furrowed. That seemed… _strange._ Sebastian scared him sometimes because Kurt hadn’t been able to keep himself from falling in love so fast, because he so out of Kurt’s league, but…Kurt had always trusted him.

“Well, I do,” Kurt said, wondering if it was redundant to say so. Sebastian’s face lit up, so, redundant or not, it was definitely the right thing to say.

Sebastian kissed him, and for some reason he couldn’t explain, this kiss felt different. It was softer, sweeter, more careful than usual. The way Sebastian was gently caressing the side of his face as their lips moved together made Kurt’s heart feel like it was going to burst out of his chest. This felt intimate, emotional, like Sebastian was trying to tell him something. Kurt knew he was just being ridiculous because he was an idiot and completely in love with someone who could never love him back. He knew he was assigning meaning where there wasn’t any, but he just couldn’t stop it.

“I’m going to make this so good for you,” Sebastian whispered.

Kurt didn’t know what to say to that, so he just watched as Sebastian rolled over and opened the bedside table drawer. He grabbed lube and condoms and tossed them carelessly on the bed next to them. Then he pressed Kurt into the bed on his back (away from the wet spot, thank God) and kissed Kurt until he couldn’t breathe, let alone think. Before Kurt knew it, slick fingers were pressing at his hole, going in easily.

He’d been nervous about this night since they’d talked about having sex in the Lima Bean nearly two months ago, but now that it was happening it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. It wasn’t anything like his fantasies of rose petals and candles accompanied with declarations of love, but it felt _right._ His body melted into the bed as Sebastian slid three, then four fingers inside of him. 

“I--I think I’m ready,” Kurt stuttered.

Sebastian pulled his fingers out and Kurt’s body clenched down instinctively around nothing. He couldn’t wait for Sebastian to be inside of him.

“You’re sure, right?” Sebastian’s hand hesitated as he reached out for a condom.

Kurt nodded. “I don’t know that I’ve ever been more sure of anything,” he said, voice steady and calm.

“God, Kurt…you…when you say things like that--you have no idea what you do to me,” Sebastian whispered, his voice thick with an emotion Kurt couldn’t identify.

Kurt gasped in surprise when Sebastian hooked his arms around Kurt’s knees, dragging them up around Sebastian’s hips, then pulling Kurt down the bed a little. He looked up at Sebastian with wide, nervous eyes. He wasn’t having second thoughts at all, just…

“Is it…is it going to hurt?”

He blushed, but Sebastian didn’t laugh, even though Kurt knew he wanted to. He knew Sebastian well enough to know what he looked like when he was amused. Kurt was grateful that Sebastian just smiled softly at him, because Kurt would have felt so, so silly if Sebastian had laughed at him right now.

“I can’t promise it’ll be entirely comfortable at first, sweetheart. I promise that you’ll get used to it pretty soon, especially since I took my time getting you ready. Just…tell me if you want me to stop. I promise I will.”

“I know you will.”

And he _did,_ but that didn’t stop his heart from throbbing in his throat as Sebastian pushed his legs apart, and dripped some lube on his cock. Then there was the slightest pressure and Kurt sucked in a breath that he held for far too long. This was _actually_ happening. The dumbest thought— _what if it doesn’t fit—_ flashed across his mind, and he felt himself holding in another breath.

“Breathe, baby,” Sebastian said soothingly, running the backs of his fingers across Kurt’s cheek. “You don’t have to worry about anything. I’m gonna take care of you.”

Kurt inhaled deeply, and when he let it out, Sebastian pushed harder and the tip of his cock went in all at once.

_Fuck._

“Oh my god,” he whispered.

It was a lot to handle. Intense, overwhelming, nothing like Sebastian’s fingers, nothing he could have ever expected.

“Are you okay?” Sebastian seemed so worried, and it made Kurt want to smile. Sebastian was also the absolute sweetest with him.

Kurt tried to speak, wanted to just say ‘yes,’ but for some reason his voice wasn’t working and he just let out a little noise. Kurt looked up into Sebastian’s eyes, eyes that were begging Kurt to say something, _anything_ and tried to talk again, but his voice still wasn’t working _._ Kurt didn’t have any words for what he was feeling or thinking anyway, so he just nodded, and smacked himself internally for not thinking of nodding in the first place.

Sebastian smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to Kurt’s lips. “Good. I’m..I’m gonna keep going.” Then he pushed in a little more and Kurt let out a big breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding.  

“Just relax,” Sebastian whispered against his lips. “I’m sorry if it’s…God, I’m not hurting you am I?”

Every time Sebastian pushed in more, it was…strange and the tiniest bit uncomfortable, but only for a moment. “No,” Kurt answered. “It’s just…fuck, I don’t know.” He smiled weakly.

The words didn’t seem quite right, his voice sounded _weird,_ but he was way too busy focusing on the hot throb of Sebastian’s cock inside of him to properly communicate. It was all so new and surreal and overwhelming but in a good way.

Sebastian’s brows furrowed. “Shit. Should I stop?” He was already pulling back, and that was _not_ what Kurt wanted.

“No!” he said  a bit too loudly, wrapping his legs around Sebastian’s waist to keep him there.  “Don’t,” he rasped out. “Don’t stop.”

“Oh,” Sebastian said. “So you’re…you’re okay?”

“Yeah, God, it’s just, it’s a lot and I— _oh fuckkkkk,”_ Kurt’s attempt to explain himself cut off into a long drawn out moan as Sebastian pressed in deeper.

Sebastian bent down, supporting his weight on his forearms so he could kiss Kurt as he kept pushing, as Kurt tried to relax and let him in. After a while, they were just breathing against each other, too absorbed in novel sensations to really kiss each other properly.

“Fuck,” Sebastian whispered. “You’re so tight.”

From the way he said it, Kurt took it that that was a very good thing. “And that’s good?”

“Fuck,” Sebastian groaned. ‘Yeah, baby, it’s so good; you feel so fucking good.”

Warm satisfaction bloomed in Kurt’s chest, and he couldn’t help but feel a bit proud of himself, although he wasn’t quite sure why. “You feel good, too,” Kurt said.

“Yeah?” Sebastian said on a long exhale. 

“You’re...God, you’re…so _big.”_

Sebastian smirked down at him, clearly pleased with Kurt’s words.  Then he started to work his hips slowly, grinding in where he was pressed deep. When Kurt started to push back, Sebastian started pulling out, and Kurt whimpered in protest, the whimper cutting off into a guttural moan when Sebastian pushed back in, much faster than he had the first time, although he was still being quite gentle and careful.

Kurt felt so _full,_ so perfectly, wonderfully _full,_ and when he looked into Sebastian’s eyes, he felt something in his chest he couldn’t entirely explain. Kurt had never felt so connected to anyone in his life, and he could almost imagine that the softness in Sebastian’s eyes meant that he felt it, too.

“You okay?” Sebastian asked, face still lined with concern.

“Yes,” Kurt breathed. “Can you…I want…”

Sebastian nipped at his earlobe, and Kurt shuddered. “What do you want, baby? You want it harder?”

“Y-yeah,” Kurt stuttered. He wanted it harder, faster, deeper, he wanted _everything._

“You sure? I can wait, don’t think you have to speed up on my account,” Sebastian said softly, continuing to slide in and out of Kurt’s body at a slow pace that made him want to scream. 

There was a glint in Sebastian’s eyes that made Kurt think he was doing this on purpose, and Kurt seriously considered smacking him. Kurt _needed_ more. **Now.** Sebastian’s concern  was incredibly sweet, very kind and endearing, and so was his playfulness, but Kurt felt like he was going to explode.

“God, just--just fuck me,” he burst out.

He kind of couldn’t believe he just said that, but at the moment, Kurt really didn’t care as long as Sebastian got on with it already.

Sebastian’s hips jerked inside of him. “Christ,” he muttered. “You... _God,_ that’s hot. Say it again.”

Normally, Kurt would balk, or blush or hide his face. But now? “Fuck me,” he said, his voice coming out deeper than he’d ever heard it.

Sebastian’s hips stuttered again at the sound of it, and Kurt smirked. There was something incredibly gratifying about being able to affect Sebastian like that. Luckily for Sebastian, Kurt was too far gone to use it against him.  

“Please,” he begged, when Sebastian didn’t speed up.

Sebastian’s eyes fluttered shut, like it was too much for him to take in, and the part of Kurt that wasn’t desperate to get fucked felt very smug.

“Come _on,”_ Kurt whined. “Just do it. Fuck me, fuck me _fuck me,”_ he chanted, trying his best to work his hips faster since Sebastian was still teasing.

Sebastian pressed his knees into the bed and his mouth to Kurt’s neck, digging in with his teeth as he began to fuck Kurt harder, faster.

“Is that what you wanted, baby?” Sebastian growled against his skin.

Kurt just moaned in response. Sebastian’s lips on his neck was always an instant turn on, but lips on his neck combined with how fast Sebastian was moving was almost too much; it was too much in the best sort of way, though. Kurt was almost overwhelmed by the pleasure sparking through him, his fingers squeezing down on Sebastian’s shoulders whenever Sebastian’s cock pressed hard against his prostate at random.

Kurt knew he wasn’t going to last  too much longer. He wanted to come so desperately, but he also wanted to hold on to this feeling for just a minute or two more. He didn’t know if that was going to happen--Sebastian was literally fucking him breathless.  He was panting so hard, so harshly it almost sounded like something was wrong.

“God,” Kurt gasped, eyes squeezing shut, mouth going slack. His back arched off the bed and his nails dug into Sebastian’s shoulder.

 “Look at me,” Sebastian panted. “Wanna see you.”

Kurt blinked his eyes open. “I’ll try,” he breathed. “Feels so good.” 

A smile bloomed over Sebastian’s lips. “You feel so good to me, sweetheart; you’re taking it so good for me. And you’re--”

He cut off into a moan when Kurt’s body clenched down on his cock. They both had to close their eyes for a moment, the drag of Sebastian’s cock so good as he kept pushing in despite the new tightness.

Kurt bit his lip, a bit too hard, but he needed something to ground him right now, because he felt like he was about to fly apart.

“You’re so... _beautiful,”_ Sebastian whispered, bending his head and biting gently at Kurt’s lip before sucking at it briefly.

Maybe it was weird, but Sebastian calling him beautiful only made Kurt feel even closer. Then Sebastian lowered his mouth to Kurt’s neck and bit down harsher than he ever had before. Kurt cried out, hips bucking at the sensation.  

“You close?” Sebastian panted out.

“Yeah. Yeah, I can’t--I can’t last much more.”  He honestly didn’t know how he’d made it this long--why he hadn’t come the second he’d gotten used to having Sebastian inside of him.

"Touch yourself,” Sebastian growled.

“What?”

“C’mon, touch yourself. Wanna see you come, sweetheart; make yourself come for me.” It was supposed to be a command, but it sounded more like begging to Kurt, and he couldn’t resist.

He closed his eyes and slipped a hand between them, Sebastian’s rhythm faltering as he looked between them, watching Kurt get himself off. This wasn’t something Kurt ever thought he’d do--touch himself while someone else watched, but he didn’t feel embarrassed at all. The way way Sebastian was talking to him just made it _hot._ Kurt didn’t think he’d ever get enough of hearing that he was beautiful, gorgeous, so fucking sexy, that he should go faster, that he was doing so good.

“Sebastian,” Kurt whined. He felt his orgasm building at the base of his spine, spreading, waiting to burst. He just needed a little more.

“C’mon, baby,” Sebastian breathed. “Just let it go; let me see you come for me.”

Kurt’s nails dug into Sebastian’s shoulders harder, and his body clenched in on itself as he came hard over his hand. A high pitched wailing noise Kurt didn’t even know he could _make_ tore itself from his throat and Sebastian let out a low growl as he fucked Kurt through it, making the orgasm last almost longer than he could stand.

Kurt whined, because Sebastian was fucking him even harder now as he chased his own orgasm. His body was throbbing and hot and he didn’t even know how it could still feel so good even though it was also too much.

“God, you’re so hot--just taking it for me,” Sebastian growled. “Gonna make me--” the rest of the sentence was lost as Sebastian shoved himself in deep and buried his face in Kurt’s neck. He shuddered through his orgasm, then collapsed hot and sweaty on top of Kurt.

Kurt knew that any other time he’d feel smothered, sticky and messy--that he’d want his space, but this was absolutely wonderful. He petted uselessly at Sebastian’s back and shoulders as they caught their breath. His fingers brushed over the indentations his nails had left in Sebastian's skin, and some part of him almost hoped that there would be marks, a reminder of this incredible, amazing night. He’d never imagined that sex was going to be like _this,_ he wondered if it this was what it was like for everyone, or if it was just something about them, about how much Kurt was in love with Sebastian.

“God,” Kurt whispered. “Is it always like that?”

Sebastian kissed Kurt slow and deep before pulling away to answer. “No, sweetheart. It’s not always like this. It’s not always this good.”

Kurt closed his eyes and smiled, letting the words sink in. He knew it was crazy to let himself be so happy about them, but he couldn’t help it right now. He’d deal with the emotional fallout later--he was just going to let himself enjoy this moment for as long as it lasted.

“Shit, I’m probably crushing you,” Sebastian said after a moment, and he sounded so contrite that it made Kurt laugh.

“You’re not,” Kurt wheezed between giggles.

Sebastian rolled off of him and Kurt felt strangely sad and empty without Sebastian inside of him, without his heavy warmth on top of him. He almost wanted to pull Sebastian back on top of him, but he wasn’t sure how that would be received.

“I’ll be right back,” Sebastian said, kissing Kurt’s forehead and padding off to the bathroom.

He came back a moment later with a washcloth and Kurt felt strangely embarrassed when Sebastian gently wiped him clean. He knew that was silly—he’d just had _sex_ with Sebastian; he’d let Sebastian lick his ass (and kiss him after), yet he was blushing over Sebastian cleaning him up? Kurt wanted to smack himself but he knew that would look really, _really_ awkward and that Sebastian would probably just tell him not to worry about it.

Sebastian tugged at the covers, and Kurt slid off the bed, quickly retreating to the bathroom so he didn’t have to just stand there naked while Sebastian made the bed suitable for sleeping in. He also just needed a moment to himself, to process what had just happened.

He stared at himself in the mirror unable to believe that he’d actually just done that. He was a little surprised that he didn’t feel any different. Part of him had thought that he’d feel something different when he finally had sex. All he really felt was exhausted because he’d come hard twice in rather short period of time. Really, he just wanted to sink into the bed in a boneless pile and fall asleep, and maybe think about this all later when his brain wasn’t so fuzzy.

Kurt figured that Sebastian must be done by now, so he made quick work of splashing water on his face and brushing his teeth. He couldn’t care less about proper skin care right now. He really, _really_ just wanted to get under the blankets.

The main light was off when Kurt went back into the room, but the light of the moon and lit up buildings made it easy to see.

“Do you want the curtains closed?” Sebastian asked from where he was sitting on the bed, scrolling quickly through his phone.

Kurt shook his head no, and slipped into bed next to Sebastian, unsure of how close he was allowed to get. They’d never actually just slept together before. Sebastian slid straight over to Kurt’s side of the bed and wrapped his arms around Kurt. Question answered.

“I have to get up early tomorrow,” Sebastian said into his neck. “So…I won’t be here when you wake up.” Sebastian sounded apologetic, and it make Kurt smile.

“It’s okay,” Kurt said softly.

“I just wish I could be here when you wake up. Anyway...I’ll give you a call when I’m all done and we’ll figure out where to meet up from there.”

“Mmkay,” Kurt agreed, his voice heavy with sleep.

“You got plans for tomorrow morning?”

Kurt shook his head, and tried to pay attention to Sebastian’s suggestions, but he was far too exhausted to really take any of it in. He fell asleep to a description of how lovely Central Park could be in the morning, a small smile on his face.


	6. Chapter 6

_  
_When Kurt woke up the next morning. there was a handwritten note folded on top of his phone.

 

_Sorry I couldn’t be here when you woke up. I’ve left you a key card to swipe for the elevator, and one of my credit cards. Use it if you want to buy anything or do anything._

_Seriously. Use the damn card._

_I’ll call you around noon, alright?_

_Use._

_The._

_Card._

_Have a good morning._

_-S  
_

 

Kurt could hear Sebastian's voice in his ear quite clearly, in that fondly exasperated tone he used when he thought Kurt was being difficult, and it made him smile.   _  
_

* * *

 

Kurt hadn’t used the card. He hadn’t been particularly hungry, and honestly, he could totally afford to pay for a mocha, croissant and banana. Sebastian wouldn’t even know. And there was plenty to take in about New York without spending money, especially since Sebastian’s apartment was within walking distance to, well, _everything._ He’d honestly lost track of time just walking around, and was surprised when his phone rang as he wandered through Times Square and he saw that it was almost noon.

“Hello?”

“ _Hey sweetheart—shut up you ass—“_

Kurt frowned. “Uhm…”

“ _No, sorry, that wasn’t for you babe. Where are you?”_

“I’m somewhere in Times Square…”

“ _I’m really close by. Are you close by to any of the really big stores?”_

“Well. There’s a Forever 21…”

“ _Okay. Make your way over there and I’ll meet you in front in a bit.”_

They said goodbye and hung up, and Kurt fought his way through the crowd. He kind of wondered how in the hell Sebastian was going to find him—there were _so_ many people. To his great surprise, less than 10 minutes later, strong arms were wrapping around from behind. He squeaked in surprise, struggling for a minute before he recognized the body behind him.

“You’re so cute when you make that noise,” Sebastian said into his ear.

“God,” Kurt laughed as Sebastian let him go and stepped to his side. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”

“And you two are giving me cavities,” a sarcastic voice said somewhere near them.

Kurt suddenly realized that Sebastian had someone with him, and when he looked up, he was stunned into silence _._ The man was taller than Sebastian, which was really saying something, because Sebastian had at least three inches on Kurt. It was also quite obvious that under that tailored (probably custom made) suit, that he was _ripped._ His hair was perfect, and really, he was just extremely _hot._ Kurt couldn’t help but think this was the kind of person Sebastian should be with, and something he couldn’t quite identify rolled unpleasantly in his stomach.

“Shut up,” Sebastian said good-naturedly. He turned to Kurt, giving his shoulder a little squeeze. “This is Hunter. You’ll have to try to excuse him, he’s a real bastard and doesn’t know how to behave like a civilized human being.”

Hunter shrugged and _damn_ his shoulders were broad. It just emphasized to Kurt how young and undeveloped and unsuitable he was in comparison.

“Oh,” was the only thing Kurt could manage to get out. “I see.”

Hunter rolled his eyes, and Kurt edged a little closer to Sebastian. Sebastian closed the small distance between them threaded an arm through Kurt’s, which made him feel a little safer.

“You must be Kurt,” the man—Hunter—said, extending a hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Sebastian talked about him to other people? Kurt wouldn’t have expected that, considering that Kurt was so young, and such a temporary fixture in his life.  He would have thought Sebastian would want to hide him from other people, so Kurt didn’t quite know what to make of that.

“It’s, uhm, nice to meet you,” Kurt said, swallowing a little. He felt silly for being so nervous and awkward, but Hunter was possibly the most intimidating person he’d ever met.

“Likewise,” Hunter said pleasantly, his eyes sweeping quickly over Kurt’s body.

Kurt felt like he was being appraised, and couldn’t help feeling that he’d come up lacking to someone like Hunter. Hunter stuck out his hand for Kurt to shake, and Kurt put his hand in Hunter’s, trying not to wince when Hunter squeezed a little tighter than Kurt might have expected.

“Hunt!” Sebastian scolded, snatching Kurt’s hand away and pressing a kiss to back of it. “Play nice.”

Instead of letting Kurt’s hand go after he kissed it, Sebastian held it for a moment longer, petting gently over the back of it. The extra attention made Kurt blush, and he couldn’t stop the small smile that spread across his lips.

“Christ, Bas. I thought it was bad when you were calling him sweetheart on the phone, but damn.”

Hunter’s tone was teasing, and he gave Sebastian’s shoulder a friendly punch. Kurt suddenly realized that Hunter must have been the one who Sebastian had been annoyed with during their earlier phone conversation.

He wondered if they’d spent the morning together, and that unpleasant feeling rose up in him again. Hunter clearly knew Sebastian well enough to know how he usually acted. It grew stronger when he remembered that they both had nicknames for each other, that they clearly had known each other for a long time and had history of some kind. He wondered what the nature of their past association was, that strange feeling was threatening to make him nauseous. He suddenly realized what he was feeling, and he swallowed hard.

He was _jealous._

Which was utterly ridiculous. He tried to pay attention to what was being said, and just caught the end of Sebastian calling Hunter a “sarcastic rotten bastard.”

Hunter arched an eyebrow. “Is that so? What do you think Kurt, am I complete jerk, or what?”

Hunter’s eyes were sparkling with mischief, but Kurt’s mouth dropped open a little all the same.

“I, uhm…” Kurt trailed off, at a loss for words.

For whatever reason, Sebastian clearly liked Hunter, so the last thing Kurt wanted was to insult the man, even if he was clearly giving Kurt a hard time.

“No comment,” he said after a moment. If Hunter could joke around, so could he.

There was a beat of silence, then both Sebastian and Hunter both broke out laughing.

“I guess you’re pretty okay,” Hunter said once he’d caught his breath. He looked down at his watch and frowned. “I’ve got to go.” He nodded at Kurt and said, “I’ll see you around.”

Hunter gave Sebastian a playful shove that Sebastian returned not so playfully, then Hunter was gone, lost in the large crowd.

“Sorry about that,” Sebastian said. “We were both going the same way, and he insisted on meeting you. He’s not actually a jerk once you get to know him. You’ll see.”

Kurt only nodded in response.

It was so strange that Sebastian was talking as though Kurt was going to be around, that he’d seemed to give Hunter the impression that there’d be time for them to get to know each other better. It was even stranger that Sebastian had bothered to introduce Kurt to one of his friends. Surely he just hadn’t thought the whole moving to New York while Kurt was stuck in Ohio thing through. Kurt decided to just brush it off for now and enjoy what time he had left.

 

* * *

 

Over an absurdly expensive lunch in a tiny sushi restaurant tucked into a quiet corner street, Kurt tried to learn more about Sebastian’s history with Hunter. Kurt felt a little silly because Sebastian didn’t belong to him, but he just _had_ to know.

To his great relief, it seemed like they really were just old friends, although Kurt had a hard time believing that Hunter owned a fluffy white cat named Duchess that he was insanely fond of. He was also highly skeptical that Sebastian and Hunter spent half of their time at Dalton getting written up every other week.   

“So,” Sebastian said once they were done with lunch and back on the street. “You and I need to go shopping.”

“What for?”

Sebastian grinned. “I’m taking you somewhere special tonight.”

Kurt’s face lit up. “Really? Where? What are we doing?”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “As if I’d tell you.”

Kurt tried to get information out of Sebastian the entire cab ride to their mystery shopping destination, but he gave up rather quickly when he realized that Sebastian wasn’t going to tell him a damn thing. They stopped, Sebastian paid the driver, and when Kurt stepped out onto the pavement he couldn’t believe his eyes.

“There’s no way we can go shopping at Barneys!” Kurt exclaimed, eyes wide.

Sebastian quirked an eyebrow. “And why not?”

“Everything in there is just…so expensive. I couldn’t possibly…”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Kurt, I can afford it. We’ve been over this.”

They had, but…it was just too much. The scarf and gloves, letting Sebastian pay for a trip to New York was one thing, but shopping trip at Barneys? One item could easily cost more than the entire plane fare.

“But…”

Sebastian took his hand and kissed it. “C’mon, Kurt.” He grinned, a silly lopsided grin that made Kurt’s stomach flip. “Let me spoil you. It’ll be so much fun for me.”

Kurt nodded and allowed himself to be tugged into the store as he tried not to marvel at the displays. He felt a bit out of place standing next to Sebastian wearing a designer suit next to a display case of Tom Ford sunglasses.  He stopped short, and Sebastian’s eyes slid to the sunglasses.

“See anything you like?”

Kurt bit his lip. “Uhm…,” He did, of course, but he didn't want to explain that he’d stopped because he was feeling terribly out of place right now.

Sebastian huffed in annoyance. “Kurt, I’m buying you a pair of sunglasses. You pick or I’ll pick for you.”

Kurt realized that Sebastian wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He looked down into the display cases, talking options over with the friendly saleswoman behind the counter until he finally founda pair he liked.

He turned to Sebastian with the glasses on, tilting his head up and striking a pose. “What do you think?”

“They’re perfect.” Sebastian walked over to the sales lady and spoke to her in low tones. Then he handed her his card, grabbed Kurt’s hand and tugged him over to the watches.

“Let’s get you a watch, too.”

“But...you were just going to get me something for tonight!” Kurt spluttered. He shouldn’t have let Sebastian buy the sunglasses--add in a watch and it would just be too much.

Sebastian quirked an eyebrow at him. “A watch is just part of an outfit, Kurt. Right?”

“Well, _yes,_ but…”

Sebastian beamed at him, and slid his arm around Kurt’s waist. “Can I pick one out for you?”

Kurt sighed. “ _Fine._ But. Don’t go overboard, okay?”

Sebastian’s smile only grew wider. “Why don’t you let me worry about that, darling?”

Kurt sighed again, heavier this time, and admitted defeat. “So…can you pick one with numbers instead of roman numerals? I’m awful at reading those.”

“Of course,” Sebastian answered, grinning as he bent over the display case to consider the options.

 

* * *

 

By the time it was over, Kurt had walked away with not only the sunglasses and watch, but a suit, three pairs of pants, six shirts, three pairs of shoes and a suitcase to drag it all home in. Miraculously, it was all in the penthouse by the time they arrived. It hadn’t taken them particularly long to get back to the hotel, so, Kurt had absolutely no idea how that had been accomplished. If he thought about it, he also couldn’t quite figure out how their bags had gotten from the taxi to Sebastian’s room in the short span of time it took for them to take the elevator upstairs the first night they were here.

“Everything’s here, isn’t it?”

Kurt’s eyes snapped up in surprise. He hadn’t realized Sebastian was even in the bedroom. Sebastian was leaning against the door frame, arms crossed, a little smile on his face, and Kurt wondered if he’d been standing there for a few moments before he’d bothered to say anything.

“What?” Kurt looked down at the silk shirt in his hands. “Oh. Yeah. It’s all here.”

Sebastian smiled at him a little. “Thank you for letting me buy you things. It really does make me happy.”

Kurt blushed. “Shouldn’t _I_ be saying ‘thank you’?”

“You do all the time.”

Kurt shrugged. “Yeah, but…I feel like it’s not enough. You’ve given me so much and…I can’t really do anything to properly express my gratitude, and—“

“No,” Sebastian said passionately, shaking his head as he spoke. “Don’t say that. You give me things way more valuable than anything I could ever buy you. I’m the one who should be feeling grateful.”

Kurt didn’t quite know what to say. He didn’t understand what Sebastian could possibly mean by something like that. Surely the sex wasn’t _that_ good, was it?

“I don’t know what you mean,” Kurt said softly.

“You make me smile,” Sebastian burst out. “And laugh. I haven’t had a reason to do that for a long time.”

Kurt really, _really_ didn’t understand how that could be possible. He also got the feeling that he didn’t know very much about Sebastian; perhaps all the things he’d assumed about Sebastian’s life might be very wrong. He wanted to ask a million questions, but he wasn’t sure where that might lead them--what things he might end up saying. The last thing Sebastian needed to know was how much Kurt was in love with him.

So he said, “I have a lot of fun with you, too.”

“Baby,” Sebastian pulled him close, and Kurt’s heart started to beat very, very fast, “it’s not just that we have fun together. _Everything_ is wonderful when I’m with you.”

He looked down into Kurt’s eyes, and Kurt felt a nervous flutter in his stomach.

“Do you understand what I mean?” Sebastian said softly.

Kurt swallowed hard. He didn’t. “I…I think so? It’s just, I’m...I’m _me._ I’m just some—”

“Stop. You _are_ just you. And that’s what I love most. But you don’t believe me, do you?”

Kurt dropped his gaze, feeling a little scared of what he was seeing in Sebastian’s eyes, of the words he was saying. He couldn’t bear to love Sebastian and lose him if there was the slightest possibility that Sebastian felt the same way. And he was getting the feeling that Sebastian at least had a certain fondness for him.

“Guess I’m gonna have to keep trying to show you then,” Sebastian whispered. He turned Kurt’s face toward him and kissed him deep and slow.

Kurt let out a gasp that made Sebastian pull him even closer. Kurt’s arms slid around Sebastian’s neck and he leaned into it, putting everything he felt and couldn’t say into the kiss. Sebastian’s hands slid down over Kurt’s ass, and around to his thighs. He gripped, then tried to pick Kurt up.

“Oh my god,” Kurt gasped, arms squeezing tight around Sebastian’s neck as he resisted Sebastian’s attempts to lift him. “What are you doing?”

“I think it’s pretty obvious,” Sebastian teased.

“But…I mean. You can’t. Can you?” Kurt wasn’t exactly a tiny guy—he’d hate for Sebastian to sprain his back or something.

“What, you think just ‘cause I’m old means I’m frail?”

“Of course not—“ Then Kurt squealed as his feet left the ground and his legs wrapped around Sebastian’s waist.

“I think I like you clinging to me,” Sebastian said mischievously, letting his arms go slack. Kurt gasped and grabbed on to him tighter out of instinct. “Yeah,” Sebastian said. “I like it a _lot.”_

“You’re such…such a…”

“Oh, please tell me what I am,” Sebastian said, laughing as he walked them towards the bed.

Kurt swallowed hard as Sebastian lay him gently on his back and crawled on top of him. “You’re…really hot.”

The fact that Sebastian could just pick him up like he was nothing was incredibly sexy. It made him want to tear Sebastian’s clothes off and just _have_ him. Then he realized that he could and he smiled.

Sebastian laughed. “Is that so?”

“Yeah,” Kurt murmured, pushing gently at Sebastian’s chest. “Can you…can you get on your back?”

Sebastian rose an eyebrow, but did as Kurt asked. Kurt straddled Sebastian’s thighs and looked down at him. Sebastian was _gorgeous._ Kurt never took the lead when they were intimate, but he was too worked up to right now to wait. And there was the fact that he wasn’t going to have many more opportunities to explore Sebastian’s body. He wanted to touch him all over, try to remember as much as he could about him while Kurt still had him.

He leaned forward, fingers pulling clumsily at Sebastian’s tie.         

“Let me,” Sebastian said, his hands covering Kurt’s.

“No,” Kurt said breathily. “You stay still.”

“What are you going to do?” Sebastian asked.

Kurt smiled at him. “Like I’d tell you,” he teased, echoing Sebastian’s earlier words. “But if you tell me where you’re taking me tonight, I could be persuaded to give you some details.”

Sebastian laughed. “Guess I’ll just have to remain in suspense then.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Kurt felt his competitive side flaring up, and tried to think of how he was going to get Sebastian to give in. Then he thought about something Sebastian had said when he was talking Kurt through giving his first blowjob last week. Kurt hadn’t done everything Sebastian had suggested, but he knew there was one thing that that Sebastian had been really, _really_ interested in. It had seemed weird at the time, but now that Kurt was used to the idea it actually seemed kind of hot. He really wanted to try it, anyway. Even the suggestion of it would probably get Sebastian to give in and tell him where they were going tonight.

“You’re thinking awfully hard,” Sebastian said, squirming underneath Kurt.

Kurt realized he’d kind of stopped moving while he was thinking, and smiled apologetically.

“I was just plotting your demise,” he said calmly, his hands working quickly to unknot the tie and pull it roughly from underneath Sebastian’s collar.

Sebastian laughed. “That’s cute. But you and I both know I’m going to win.”

“Like I said…we’ll see about that.” He bent down and kissed Sebastian hungrily, feeling more and more confident as Sebastian let him take the lead and do what he wanted. It meant their kisses were a little clumsier, but taking control felt so good that Kurt didn’t care. His fingers were shaky and inefficient as he tried to unbutton Sebastian’s dress shirt as quickly as possible.

“Someone’s eager,” Sebastian said between kisses.

“For you,” Kurt said, trying to make his voice lower.

He remembered how much Sebastian had got off on him talking dirty last night and thought that this was the perfect time to take advantage of it. Sure enough, Sebastian’s breath caught in his throat at Kurt’s words, and Kurt smirked. He bent down and sucked just under Sebastian’s collarbone, nipping at it before pulling away to finish unbuttoning the dress shirt and yanking the tucked in ends from Sebastian’s pants.

He sat up and shimmied down the bed a bit to give Sebastian room to move. “Take it off,” he said softly.

Sebastian shot up and wriggled out of the shirt as Kurt unbuckled his belt and slid it from the loops. Sebastian went for his pants but Kurt stopped him with a hand on his chest. He shoved Sebastian back down and ran the tips of his fingers over his skin, pressing his thumb in where his nails had left pink half moons on Sebastian’s shoulders. Sebastian’s hands slid up the side of  Kurt’s thighs, but Kurt batted them way.

“Hands off.”  

Sebastian sighed. “Why?” There was a bit of a whine in his voice already, and Kurt hadn’t even gotten to the best parts.

“Because I said so,” Kurt said firmly, pressing Sebastian’s forearms into the bed.

“Fuck,” Sebastian groaned. “You are so fucking sexy right now. Remind me to provoke you more in the future.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “You’re ridiculous.”  

Sebastian laughed, a laugh that turned into a gasp when Kurt placed a palm over his cock.

Kurt smirked. “All that whining, yet you’re hard already.”

“What are you going to do about it?”  Sebastian pushed his hips up, trying to get more friction, but all Kurt gave him was the lightest, gentlest touch, only enough to tease.

“Nothing.” Kurt bent down and licked lightly at one of Sebastian’s nipples. Sebastian seemed to like it just as much as he did, so Kurt kept at it, smiling when Sebastian started moaning softly.

“Kurt…”

Kurt looked up at Sebastian, but didn’t stop what he was doing.

“You look so hot,” Sebastian said. “So fucking hot like this.”

Kurt whimpered around the nipple in his mouth. It seemed like Sebastian was going to play dirty too. He could handle it…probably. Sebastian’s voice on its own was hot to Kurt, but when Sebastian told him he was hot, or sexy or beautiful it drove Kurt crazy. He was going to have to focus if he was going to win this thing. Which he totally was. It was more about pride and honor at this point than knowing where they were going. For a moment, Kurt wanted to giggle because it was utterly ridiculous that they were getting into a pissing contest during sex. Then he remembered that he needed to focus because he had a game to win.

“Where are we going?” he asked.

Sebastian laughed. “You think it’s that easy?”

Kurt hadn’t thought it would be, so he moved on to the next phase of his plan.

“Take your pants off,” Kurt said, trying to sound commanding.

Sebastian quirked an eyebrow at him, but did as he was asked. Kurt didn’t let him take his underwear off yet. He wanted to work Sebastian up a little more...mostly because he _could._ So he paid little attention to Sebastian’s lower body, sucking randomly at places along his chest and torso that he hoped would be light bruises tomorrow.

“C’mon,” Sebastian huffed. “You’re driving me crazy, here.”

Kurt pulled away. “Good.” Then he started to kiss his way down, lingering around Sebastian’s hips. “Don’t move.”

His kissed whisper soft, lower, and lower until he was dragging his lips over the band of Sebastian’s underwear. He tucked two fingers of one hand in it, and gave a little tug. Sebastian let out a satisfied exhale, and lifted his hips in the hopes that he’d be helping Kurt take his underwear off. Kurt removed his fingers and flattened them over the left side of Sebastian’s stomach as a reminder for Sebastian keep still. His mouth skipped entirely over Sebastian’s cock. He brushed his lips over Sebastian’s thighs, just to above his knee.

“That was so mean,” Sebastian breathed out and when Kurt looked up, he wanted to laugh because Sebastian was actually pouting.

He just allowed himself a smile and continued kissing his way up one of Sebastian’s thighs. He put his hands on the insides of Sebastian’s knees, and slid them up, working them apart. Sebastian got the message and spread his legs so that Kurt could kiss his way up them. Kurt paused when he reached Sebastian’s cock, and looked up.

“Sebastian?”

“Yeah?” Sebastian said, the faintest hint of a whine tingeing his voice. Kurt smirked. Being in charge, having the other person on edge was so much fun. He’d have to do this more often. But then he remembered that he wasn’t going to be able to do this too many more times. They’d just have to have a lot of sex, then.

“Where are you taking me tonight?”

Sebastian laughed quietly. “Not—not going to tell you.”

Kurt kissed Sebastian’s cock, just the lightest brush that would barely be felt through the fabric. He mouthed all over Sebastian’s cock and balls, smiling at the way Sebastian twitched and moaned under him.

“Kurt, come _on,”_ Sebastian pleaded. “Just, just suck me already.”

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going tonight?”

“Fuck, I’ll _think_ about it if you take off my underwear,” was Sebastian’s breathless reply.

Kurt grinned triumphantly. If Sebastian was negotiating with him already, it was a good sign that Kurt was totally going to win. Kurt helped him tug them off, then lay his cheek on Sebastian’s thigh. He looked up, trying to make his eyes look as wide and innocent as possible.

“Well, have you had enough time to think about it?” He licked a stripe up Sebastian’s cock in hopes that it would get him the answer he wanted.

“Dinner,” Sebastian gasped out.

Kurt huffed in frustration and pinched Sebastian’s thigh gently. “That’s _so_ not what I meant,” he murmured.

“Come _on,_ you’re driving me crazy here.”

Kurt smiled. “I know.” He pressed more soft gentle kisses to Sebastian’s cock, letting his tongue brush along it whenever he licked his lips to keep them from getting too dry.

He had to pin Sebastian’s hips down to keep him still enough, and a warm, satisfied feeling spread through Kurt’s chest as he watched Sebastian fall apart under his touch.

“Kurt,” Sebastian begged. “This is _not_ fair.”

Kurt looked up and flicked his tongue along against the head of Sebastian’s cock. “You know how to make it all stop,” he whispered.

“C-can’t tell you,” Sebastian stuttered.

Kurt pulled back. “Well, I guess I can’t suck your cock either, then.” His stomach gave a nervous little flip because he _actually_ said _that_ , but the effect his words had on Sebastian made it well worth the initial awkwardness of saying the words.

“Oh my fucking _God,”_ Sebastian groaned. “Fuck, fine, I’m taking you to a Broadway show.”

“Really?!” Kurt exclaimed. He hadn’t expected that all, and he crawled up the bed quickly, kissing Sebastian’s face all over in between ‘thank yous.’

Sebastian smiled at his enthusiasm. “I’m really, really glad that you’re excited, but…could you perhaps…thank me later?”

“Oh. Yeah. Right. Any chance you’ll tell me what show we’re seeing?”

“Aww, come on, don’t make me completely ruin the surprise!”

Kurt sat back on his heels and chewed his lip a little as he appeared to think it over. He knew how much lip biting drew Sebastian’s attention, so he did it a little longer than was entirely necessary. Finally, he said, “All right, I guess I can live with that.”

“You said you’d tell me what you were going to do if I told you where you we were going,” Sebastian reminded him as Kurt moved back down between Sebastian’s legs.

“Right.” Kurt took a deep breath and looked straight into Sebastian’s eyes. “First, I’m going to suck your cock. And then I’m going to let you come in my mouth and I’ll…I’ll swallow it all down.”

Sebastian exhaled sharply, his eyes closing for a moment.  “Oh my fucking _God._ Are you serious?”

Instead of answering, Kurt bent his head and took the head of Sebastian’s cock into his mouth.

 

* * *

 

 

Kurt couldn’t quite believe that last night had happened. He’d actually seen a real proper Broadway musical. And it hadn’t been just any show.

Sebastian had gotten them tickets to _Wicked._ You know, Kurt’s all time favorite musical. 

He’d had to stop himself from screaming when he realized what was happening, and hadn’t even cared that he was wrinkling both of their suits when he essentially attacked Sebastian with hugs. Sebastian had actually gone a bit pink over how grateful and excited Kurt was, but he’d been pleased all the same. Kurt was really going to miss having someone in his life who likedmaking him happy. Someone who liked _him._ Kurt was going to miss so many things.

Right now wasn’t the time to be thinking about all the things he was going to have to learn how to do without, though. Right now he just wanted to enjoy the feeling of waking up next to someone. They’d come home straight after the show, and Kurt had been surprised that they hadn’t had sex. Whenever Kurt had come to Sebastian’s apartment in Ohio, they’d ended up doing _something_ sexual almost every time. They at least always spent a lot of time kissing each other. With the exception of a sleepy goodnight kiss against his shoulder, Sebastian had seemed content to just hold him and listen to him talk excitedly about the show.

The part of him that was in love with Sebastian was thrilled that Sebastian had seemed to just want to be with him. The realist in Kurt told him that Sebastian had gotten up early and stayed out late with no rest in between—of course he’d come home and be too tired for sex.

Sebastian shifted and groaned. He mumbled something Kurt didn’t understand. Kurt tried to pull away so he could see Sebastian’s face, but Sebastian pulled him closer.

“Don’t go anywhere, baby.” His voice was rough from sleep and Kurt’s breath caught in his throat at the sound of it.

“I’m not,” Kurt murmured.

Sebastian buried his nose in Kurt’s hair and hummed. “Good; I like waking up with you.”

Kurt _loved_ waking up with Sebastian. He was almost sorry he’d gotten to see what it was like, because he’d know what he was missing out on when Sebastian was gone. Sebastian kissed the top of his head.

“Do you want to shower before we get breakfast and pack up?”

Kurt wasn’t really used to sharing a bed with anyone else, and they’d generated a lot of body heat pressed together all night. He could definitely use a shower.

“Yeah. I’ll be quick, okay?” Kurt untangled himself and sat up.

“You don’t have to rush,” Sebastian said, his voice slow and lazy.

“Well, I’ll still try not to take too long so you can get a shower, too, if you want one.”

A grin stretched slowly across Sebastian’s lips. “Or we could save time and water and shower together.”

Kurt’s breath caught in his throat. His mind hadn’t been wandering in that direction, but now that it was on the table, it was definitely worth thinking about. He’d bet anything that Sebastian would look incredible with water dripping down his body...and now that that image was in his head, he had to find out if he was right.

“Oh. Yeah; we could do that,” Kurt agreed breathlessly. “Anything to help the environment.”

The corners of Sebastian’s eyes crinkled as he laughed loudly.  He got out of bed and extended a hand to Kurt. “Let’s go save the planet,” he said solemnly.

Kurt bit back a laugh and took his hand.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Kurt spent as much time with Sebastian as possible once they got back to Ohio. Time was ticking, and he wanted to make every moment count. When he fell asleep in Sebastian’s arms or woke up to a sleepy kiss goodbye in the morning, Kurt could almost pretend that it was all real--Sebastian was his; Sebastian returned his love. The happiness he got from those moments was the only thing that kept him from falling apart when he remembered it was all going to be over soon.

Sebastian was going to leave, and start a new life in New York. He’d probably date men like Hunter and forget all about their time together. Kurt would just be that innocent kid he’d seduced to keep himself busy while he was stuck in Ohio.

Kurt knew that, and it didn’t stop him from running straight to Sebastian as soon as he was available. It didn’t stop him from kissing Sebastian as much as possible; from digging his fingernails in Sebastian’s skin and wishing he could mark him forever. Kurt didn’t get to keep him—he was never Kurt’s in the first place--but Kurt wished there was some way he could leave a mark. He wished he could make sure Sebastian wouldn’t forget him.

“What are you thinking so hard about this early in the morning?” Sebastian asked from the doorway of the bathroom.

Kurt hadn’t even realized that the shower water had turned off and sat up quickly on the bed.

“Nothing,” he said softly. He crawled over to the edge of the bed, then sat back on his heels. “You look good.”

He really did. Little droplets of water were sliding down his chest, his abs, down into the towel that was loosely knotted around his hips.

Sebastian’s eyebrows shot up. “If you say so.”

“I do.” Kurt licked his lips and looked up at Sebastian. “How long do you have before you have to go?”

“I can go in whenever I want to. Why?”

Kurt grinned. “Come here and find out.” Ever since the night they’d gone to see _Wicked_ Kurt had found a new confidence in himself, had been initiating sex between them more often. Which was a good thing, seeing as he only had four more days to try all the things he wanted to with Sebastian.

Sebastian’s eyebrows shot up, but he said nothing as he walked to where Kurt was sitting, legs dangling off the bed now. Kurt grabbed at the towel and tugged. It came off easily. He wrapped his arms around Sebastian’s lower back, pulling him closer and kissing his stomach.

Sebastian’s hands rested on his shoulders. “Fuck,” he groaned, head tipping back.

Kurt looked up at the long line of Sebastian’s throat and sighed. “You’re so hot,” he breathed against Sebastian’s hip.

Sebastian smiled faintly. “I think that honor goes to you, darling.”

 _Darling. Baby. Sweetheart._ Every time Sebastian called him one of those names it tore at him. It felt good to hear them, but it only reminded Kurt of how much he wished Sebastian was calling him those things because he loved Kurt back, not just because he thought Kurt was adorable.

Kurt lowered his eyelashes and pressed one last kiss to Sebastian’s stomach before pushing Sebastian back a little. He was too close for what Kurt wanted to do to him.

Kurt never would have imagined it, but _God,_ he loved sucking cock. Before Sebastian, he’d always had the vague sense that it might be disgusting or demeaning. The first time he worked up the nerve to do it, he’d realized that he’d been terribly wrong.

Sebastian always acted like Kurt was giving him the most precious gift in the world every time Kurt wanted to go down on him. If that was the case, Kurt was happy to give it to him.

Blowjobs could be sloppy and messy, but he didn’t care, not with Sebastian looking down at him like he was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Kurt trusted that no matter what noises he made or if there was spit on his chin Sebastian was going to love everything he did and be completely appreciative. Even if Kurt didn’t love the weight of Sebastian’s cock in his mouth and the way he tasted he’d go down on Sebastian just to be looked at like that.

“You’ve gotten so fucking good at this,” Sebastian moaned, his fingers sliding into Kurt’s hair.

Kurt closed his eyes and tried to take Sebastian deeper. He loved it when Sebastian tangled his fingers in his hair, loved it when he pulled a little when he was getting close. He felt Sebastian’s other hand on his cheek and opened his eyes. He hummed around Sebastian’s cock, and Sebastian stroked his thumb down the side of Kurt’s cheek as he smiled down at him.

“You’re so gorgeous like this.”

Kurt would have smiled if his mouth wasn’t full, so he squeezed Sebastian’s hip instead.

“And I love how much you love having my cock in your mouth.”

Kurt’s eyes fluttered shut as a blush made its way across his cheeks. Was it so obvious?

“Look at me, sweetheart.”

Kurt pulled back a little, breathing shallowly around the head of Sebastian’s cock. He opened his eyes and his whole body twitched at the heat in Sebastian’s eyes.

“I know you love sucking my dick,” Sebastian said, almost conversationally. “You don’t have to be shy.”  He grinned when Kurt turned even redder. “And you like it even more when I do this…” Sebastian tightened the fingers in Kurt’s hair, tugging at his scalp a little.

Kurt tried not to but a long, low moan tore its way out of him. Sebastian hips stuttered forward a little at the feeling, accidentally forcing his cock further into Kurt’s mouth. Kurt hadn’t been expecting that, and the back of his throat jumped up as Sebastian’s cock pushed just a little too close to it.

Sebastian pulled out instantly. “I’m so fucking sorry—“

Kurt wiped at the back of his mouth. “It’s fine.” He sat up straight and looked up into Sebastian’s eyes. “I wanted you to fuck me anyway.”

Sebastian groaned. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you since New York, but I really fucking love it and hope it never goes away.”

Kurt grinned. “Well, you did say you wanted me to get comfortable all those weeks ago--guess I did.”

“Yeah,” Sebastian said softly as he sat down on the bed next to him. “You did. And I’m so very glad.” He reached over and ran his fingers through Kurt’s hair. “I’m glad I met you. This has been…the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.”

Kurt’s breath caught in his throat. If only Sebastian would stop saying things like that. It was wreaking havoc on Kurt’s emotions. “Me too,” Kurt said, nuzzling his nose into Sebastian’s shoulder, “but you already knew that.”

Sebastian smiled. “No, I didn’t, actually. But it makes me happy to know you feel the same way.”

Kurt needed them to talk about anything else right now. He couldn’t handle these declarations of affection when he knew they fell far short of how strongly Kurt felt about Sebastian. It made him feel hopeful, and hope wasn’t something Kurt could afford to have with Sebastian’s departure so imminent.

“I thought you were going to fuck me,” Kurt whispered into Sebastian’s ear.

“Oh, I definitely haven’t forgotten,” Sebastian said, a lazy grin stretching across his lips.

“I want to try something new,” Kurt said, his voice soft and tentative, almost like a question.

“Y-yeah?” Sebastian’s voice betrayed his curiosity and excitement.

Kurt turned and crawled to the middle of the bed. Then he turned his head to look at Sebastian, whose eyes were essentially glued on Kurt’s ass.

“I want you to do it like this,” Kurt said, swallowing hard as he forced himself not to turn away and hide his blushing face.

He was curious about how another position would feel, but he also didn’t want to look into Sebastian’s eyes this time. He didn’t want to see them sparkling with fondness when he wished he could see love there.

“Oh, fuck yes,” Sebastian groaned, hurrying to the bedside table and tossing the lube and condoms on the bed before climbing up and bracketing his knees around Kurt’s calves.

“I take it you like the idea?” Kurt laughed, his voice high and breathless as Sebastian ran his hands up and down his legs. The soft gentle touches made him shiver.

“You have no idea,” Sebastian murmured, bending over and shifting back so he could press kisses down Kurt’s back. “I love it when you’re naughty like this.”

Kurt shivered. There was just _something_ about being called naughty that got to him a very real, intense way. “God,” he breathed, “can you say that again?

“You like being naughty for me?”

Kurt’s stomach clenched. “You know I do. So much. I’d do anything you wanted.” Part of him felt nervous saying it, like it was too much. Honestly, though, within reason…it was true.

“Shit, don’t say that to me.”  

“Why not?” Kurt mumbled. “I mean it.”

“I know you do,” Sebastian said. “And it makes me want to do all kinds of terrible things to you that I know you’re not ready for.”  

Kurt knew a challenge when he heard it. “Like what?” He turned his head to look at Sebastian over his shoulder. “Try me.” He’d never known what to expect in bed from Sebastian and Sebastian had yet to show him something he hadn’t loved. Kurt trusted his judgment.

“ _Fuck,”_ Sebastian groaned, reaching for the lube. “You sure you want that?”

“Yeah,” Kurt said. “Do your worst.” He tossed a cheeky grin over his shoulder, and winked.

Sebastian threw his head back and laughed. “Let’s see if you can still say that in ten minutes.”

 

* * *

 

**Have to cancel dinner. Can’t text back right now.**

The shirt in Kurt’s hands slipped to the floor and he sat down hard on the bed. Sebastian was canceling their dinner plans the night before he left for New York.

Kurt wasn’t ever going to see Sebastian again, and he wasn’t even going to get to say goodbye. The best he might get was a text or phone call later. Sebastian didn’t even explain why he was cancelling, and it hurt more than it had a right to.

With shaking hands, he typed out a reply, one that didn’t at all capture his true feelings.

_Fine._

He clenched his fists. He couldn’t afford to be hurt right now, couldn’t fall apart before Sebastian even left town. Kurt couldn’t just sit here in his room because if he did he’d break down and cry. He knew if he cried he wouldn’t stop. Kurt had to get out of here.

He took a few deep breaths, trying to keep himself together. What did he need to leave the house? It was cold outside, so he needed to be warm. Coat, gloves, scarf. Maybe a hat. Phone. Headphones? Shoes. Wallet. Keys. Definitely keys.

He had to leave his room to get the keys, walked slowly up the stairs, counting each one. Fifteen. There were fifteen steps; he’d never noticed that before.  He got the keys, and headed for the door only to be stopped by his dad.

“Leaving already? Thought you weren’t going out to dinner ‘til later.”

“I’m not going to dinner at all,” Kurt said, his voice surprisingly blank. It sounded almost like someone else was speaking.

“Oh,” his dad said, eyebrows furrowing. “Are you okay?”

“No. No, I’m not, Dad. And I’m going out.”

His father called after him, but Kurt didn’t even hear him. Once he’d stepped out of the door, he realized he didn’t have a plan, except that he wanted to get out. He shivered. It was cold. He got in the car and turned it on to warm up, and just sat there, hands on the steering wheel. He turned on the radio, buckled up, and backed out of the driveway. Driving made him feel a little more present, and he didn’t realize where he was going until he ended up at the Lima Bean. Part of him wanted to laugh—of course he’d turn to coffee when things got rough.

He went in and ordered his customary mocha, although he also ordered a chocolate chip cookie. Kurt curled up in one of the large armchairs and stared out the window with his headphones in, slowly eating as the sky fell dark.

His phone went off multiple times, and he wasn’t sure if he did or didn’t want to hear from Sebastian, so he left it in his pocket. When he finally checked there were many texts and even a phone call from his dad. His stomach curled guiltily and he typed out a quick reply.

_I’m fine._

His dad replied instantly, and Kurt sighed, head sinking back into the chair. He thought back to how he’d left and realized his dad had reason to worry.

_I’m really okay, dad. I’m just at the Lima Bean. Needed to think._

It was a lie. He didn’t want to think at all. His phone went off again, and he saw that he had a message from Sebastian. He didn’t want to look at it. Not now. He shoved his phone back in his coat pocket and got up to throw away his trash. It was even colder now that the sun was gone, but he decided to walk down the street and peer in the windows of the little shops that lined the sidewalk.  He wound his scarf tighter around his neck, and his heart clenched a little when he realized it was the scarf Sebastian bought for him.

His phone went off again, and he just slipped a hand in his pocket and pressed the button at the top to reject the call. He did it each time it went off, and eventually, he pulled it out and silenced it. The missed calls were from Sebastian, and now there were text messages, but Kurt didn’t want to see them yet.

Kurt shivered—it was really too cold to stay out much longer. He returned to the car and drove home, giving his dad a weak, shaky smile when he walked in.

“I don’t want to talk about it now, Dad. Maybe later?”

His dad’s lips thinned in a worried line, but Kurt ignored it, and headed into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. His hands shook when he took his phone out and saw that there was a voicemail now.  He shoved the phone in his pocket and retreated down to his room, drinking the tea a little too quickly. He almost didn’t mind that it burned—at least that felt like something.  Once it was done, he took the phone out, and unlocked it.

The texts were all variations of “I’m sorry, please come over.”

Then there were the missed calls—four of them, to be exact. And now, the voicemail. Kurt could hear in Sebastian’s voice that he really was sorry, that he’d gotten roped into an important meeting, that he really, really wanted to see Kurt.

He took a deep breath and opened up a new message window. He really didn’t know what to say, but he did know that no matter what else he felt, he couldn’t spite both of them out of a chance to say goodbye.

_What time do you want me to come over?_


	8. Chapter 8

Sebastian didn’t even bother to get the door shut before he was pulling Kurt into the dimly lit apartment and hugging him tightly.

“I’m so sorry,” he breathed into Kurt’s neck.

“The door,” Kurt said, not really wanting to say ‘it’s okay.’ Because it didn’t feel okay. He’d somehow found a way to keep himself from exploding, but that didn’t mean he was all right. He was mostly here because he needed closure.

Sebastian let him go, and shut the door, locking it behind him.

“So, you wanted to see me?” Kurt tried to sound neutral, but it didn’t sound convincing.

Sebastian’s eyebrows knitted together, a slight frown on his lips. Mostly, he just looked confused, and Kurt wanted to hit him for being so dense, so unaware of the power he had to hurt him.

“Of course I did,” he said softly. “I know you’re mad at me, but…will you just let me explain?”

Kurt shrugged. “I’m not mad.”

His voice was tight and thin, and he knew that he wasn’t particularly convincing right now. But it wasn’t a lie, because he wasn’t mad. He was pointedly numb. And he was going to force himself to stay that way until tomorrow after work. After that…well, Kurt couldn’t think about that right now if he was going to keep it together.He turned away and took his gloves  off, shoving them forcefully into his coat pocket.

“Well, you’re upset,” Sebastian murmured, tentatively slipping an arm around Kurt’s waist, like he was scared Kurt would push him away. When Kurt didn’t he tightened his hold and guided Kurt deeper into the apartment.  “And I want to make it up to you.”

Kurt wanted to ask how exactly Sebastian thought he could accomplish that, but his snarky question got cut off when he stepped into the living room. There were candles everywhere, enough to light up the room without help from electric lights. It was _beautiful._

“Oh,” he gasped. “This is…it’s so pretty.”

“I hoped you’d think so,” Sebastian said softly. “I’ve got chocolate covered strawberries, and champagne and…will you please come sit with me and let me explain?”

Kurt nodded silently and shrugged off his coat. His scarf went off next and he draped them both over the back of an armchair before curling up on the end of the couch. He accepted a glass of champagne from Sebastian and took a very large sip.

“Kurt, I know it’s my last night in town, and we were going to go out and have a nice dinner, and I cancelled on you last minute. I’m really, _really_ sorry, you have no idea. There was a last minute meeting that I just couldn’t get out of, and I had to sneak away to send you that message. I’m sorry it was so…abrupt, but I just didn’t have time to send anything else.”

Kurt felt himself slowly melting under Sebastian’s sad, sincere gaze. “All right,” Kurt said softly. “It’s…it’s okay.”

“It’s not. But…there was nothing I could do about it.”

“I know,” Kurt said, his voice barely audible. “It’s fine.” Maybe he wasn’t mad at Sebastian anymore, but…it was still the last night they were supposed to have together, and it had been wasted and he couldn’t help but be sad.

“Then why are you still upset with me?”

Kurt shrugged and tried to smile. “I’m not. Just…had a long day,” he lied.

Sebastian frowned, and Kurt knew that Sebastian had seen straight through his excuse. “Okay…let me try to make it up to you, then?”

Kurt nodded. Sebastian crawled across the couch, and reached for Kurt’s glass. Kurt gave it to him, wondering why Sebastian wanted it when he had a perfectly full glass of his own on the coffee table. Sebastian put it down and grabbed one of the strawberries, surprising Kurt when he pressed it to Kurt’s lips. They parted automatically, and Kurt took a tiny bite.

His eyes fluttered shut. It was _delicious._ The chocolate went perfectly with the sweet, juicy strawberry, and Kurt hummed happily. Then he realized that there was berry juice on his lips and flicked his tongue out to get it, forgetting that Sebastian’s hand was there. When his tongue swiped across a finger, his eyes popped open.

“Sorry,” he said, although the hungry way Sebastian was looking at him told him that no apology was required.

“Don’t be,” Sebastian murmured, pressing the berry back to Kurt’s lips.

Kurt had never taken so long to eat anything in his entire life, but he really, _really_ didn’t mind, because being fed was possibly one of the most erotic, intimate things he’d ever done with Sebastian, which was really saying something. Neither of them seemed to be able to look away. Kurt made a tiny noise in the back of his throat when Sebastian smeared some chocolate on the corner of his lip. Kurt brought his hand up to wipe it away, but Sebastian caught Kurt’s wrist and kept him from doing it.

“Allow me to take care of that,” Sebastian said, his voice low and smooth.

He bent down and licked at the chocolate, and Kurt couldn’t help but think about the first time Sebastian had kissed him.

Chocolate went just under his chin next, and Kurt had to tilt his head back to grant Sebastian access. He shivered as Sebastian drew a long messy line of berry juice and chocolate down the side of his neck and took his sweet time cleaning it up.

Sebastian looked at Kurt for a long moment. He slowly moved closer and Kurt closed his eyes in anticipation of a kiss. He was surprised when he felt the brush of Sebastian’s nose against his. Kurt opened his eyes and saw that Sebastian’s eyes were begging not only for permission, but also forgiveness.

Part of Kurt didn’t want to give it to him, but a far larger part of him couldn’t bear not to.  So he closed his eyes and waited, hoping Sebastian would take it for the ‘okay’ that it was. It felt like forever before Sebastian finally kissed him, and Kurt let it happen. Their lips moved together tentatively at first, slower and more hesitant than even their first kiss.

That first kiss had been hungry, curious, full of promise. But this was something else. It was ‘I’m sorry,’ it was ‘I don’t want to forgive you but I think I do anyway,’ it was ‘I love you and I can’t tell you and it’s tearing me up inside.’ Sebastian pulled away and rested his forehead on Kurt’s.

“Kurt…” he began, like he was going to say something and it seemed like it was going to be serious.

 

“Don’t,” Kurt breathed. _Don’t say anything. Don’t ruin it._ But he said,“Don’t stop.”

Sebastian kissed him again, harder this time. It was rough, and clumsy, and Kurt’s fingers dug into his shoulders, pulling him closer. He tugged at Sebastian’s top lip with his teeth, unable to keep from smiling slightly when Sebastian gasped in surprise. Sebastian retaliated by sucking on Kurt’s bottom lip, slowing the kiss down, making it sweeter. Kurt couldn’t help but let him, couldn’t do anything but melt as the kiss turned slow, sensual, deeper than before.

“All better now,” Sebastian said once he pulled away.

Kurt’s eyes blinked open “What?”

Sebastian lifted an eyebrow, a little smirk on his lips.  “You’re such a messy eater.” He tilted his head to the strawberries discarded on the table.

Kurt couldn’t help but laugh softly at that.

“Laughter,” Sebastian said happily. “Just what I was hoping for.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “I see what you’re trying to do.”

Sebastian bit his lip, eyes wide and innocent as he asked, “And what’s that?”

“Bribe me with candles and chocolate and kisses.”

Sebastian cocked an eyebrow. “Well, is it working?”

Kurt’s lips twitched. “Almost.”

The kisses had thawed him out quite a bit, but there was a part of him was still hurting. A part that he couldn’t ignore no matter how he tried.

“Tell me what’s wrong, then. It’s something big; I can feel it,” Sebastian said as he crawled off of Kurt.

“You can _feel_ it?” Kurt asked as he sat up, eyebrows arching and voice dripping with sarcasm.

Sebastian actually turned pink. “Like I said…your eyes give you away. But it’s how you touched me, how you kissed me. I _know_ you, Kurt. I know you’re not okay and I feel like…I feel like it’s so much more than just me cancelling dinner tonight.”

Kurt felt tears prickling at the corners of his eyes and he slammed them shut, turning his head into his shoulder as he breathed hard to get himself under control. There was a huge weight in his chest, an emotional pain that felt quite suddenly physical.

“Yeah,” Kurt said. “It’s just…you’re leaving. And I…I…” Kurt’s breath hitched. He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t say _I love you._ It would ruin everything. “I…I’m going to miss you.”

Sebastian’s eyes softened. “I’ll miss you too, sweetheart. You know that, right?”

Kurt shrugged. “But you’re…you’re going to New York. And it’s…New York.”   _And I’m me, and I’m nothing and you’re going to forget about me the second you step off that plane, and I’m going to be here with you on my mind all the time, missing you more than I can stand._

“Kurt...baby, I’m right here.  It’s going to be all right.” He kissed Kurt softly, and a little sob tore its way out of Kurt’s throat.

He’d told himself he wasn’t going to cry, but he felt the tears running down his face, and it was all he could do not to dissolve into sobs. He could at least do that, but it was hard with Sebastian gently thumbing away his tears carefully. Kurt almost lost it when Sebastian moved them so that they were pressed together on the couch, Kurt’s back to Sebastian’s front as Sebastian cuddled him close. One hand rubbed soothingly up and down Kurt’s arm.

“Please don’t cry,” Sebastian whispered into Kurt’s hair. “You have to know that I’m going to miss you more than I’ve missed _anything._ I’m going to miss your smile and waking up with you and your ass and the way you brush your teeth and—“

Kurt laughed and it sounded weird because his throat was closed off and tight from crying. “The way I brush my teeth? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”

“But it’s true,” Sebastian said earnestly. “I’m going to miss the way you snore—“

“I don’t snore!” Kurt protested, but he was smiling now, and the tears were stopping. How could Sebastian make him smile and break his heart at the same time?

“You do, though. But it’s soft and sweet and really kind of cute. And only woke me up, like, one time.”

Kurt shook his head. “You’re so full of shit. I’m going to miss that.”

“I’m going to miss your snark.” Sebastian said, rolling Kurt on his back. He had to twist his body and hitch a leg over Kurt’s to fit on the couch, and they were definitely cramped for space now.

“You know…the couch really wasn’t made for this,” Kurt couldn’t help but comment.

Sebastian laughed. “Yeah, just like that. I’m going to miss that.” He carefully climbed off the couch, and stood up with a bit of difficulty. “But you’re right.” He extended a hand. “Can…can I take you to bed and show you all the other things I’m going to miss?”

Kurt sat up and took a deep breath, and wiped at his eyes. “Okay.”

He was hurting, but he couldn’t say no to Sebastian, not when this was going to be the last time they’d ever touch each other. He accepted Sebastian’s hand up, but realized that they couldn’t exactly go into the bedroom just yet. “Wait.”

“What?”

Kurt bit his lip. “It’s just…the candles. We can’t just leave them.”

Sebastian threw his head back and laughed.

Kurt blushed. “Well, we can’t! It’s not like they’ll magically blow themselves out and not burn the apartment down if we don’t blow them out.”

“You’re right. And unfailingly practical.” Sebastian said between giggles. “And I love it.”  He bent over and blew out a candle. “So…whoever blows out the last candle gets a blowjob from the loser?”

“What? That’s just silly.”

Sebastian flashed him a grin and blew out another candle. “You’re wasting time, you know. You can talk or…” Another candle went out. “You can get to blowing.”

Kurt wanted to point out how ridiculous this was, how easy it would be to cheat, how _dumb_ that joke was, and how moving this fast in a room filled with candles was definitely a fire hazard, but Sebastian’s silly grin was so sweet that he decided to let it all go. The room was filled with giggles as they rushed past each other and they made the room darker and darker. Kurt blew out the last candle, one tucked up on the corner of the fireplace mantle.

“I win!” Kurt exclaimed, a bright smile on his face. Then he realized there was a problem. All the other lights in the apartment had been off when he came in. WIthout the candles, the entire apartment was dark, and Kurt couldn’t see a damn thing.

“Seb? I can’t see anything. Where are you?”

Sebastian didn’t answer although Kurt did hear a quiet giggle from where he thought the couch was. Kurt rolled his eyes and sighed. He could never quite get over the fact that he was often more mature and practical than his 31 year old lover.

“Very cute, Sebastian. Now seriously, where are you?”

“Not telling,” Sebastian said softly.

Kurt moved carefully toward where he thought he’d heard the voice, and shrieked when he stumbled into Sebastian, who was much closer than Kurt had calculated.

Sebastian caught him easily. “Careful there,” he teased.

“This is not my house,” Kurt grumbled. “Excuse me for not—“ He squeaked in surprise when Sebastian bent and hooked an arm under his knees, sweeping him up into his arms bridal style.

“I’d better make sure you don’t hurt yourself, then.”

“You better not drop me.” Kurt warned.

“As if! Besides, I totally know where we’re— _fuck!”_

A slight thud accompanied Sebastian’s cut off sentence, and Kurt felt himself jostled a little. Clearly, Sebastian had just ran into something, and Kurt took a moment to be glad that they hadn’t ended up on the floor. Depending on where they were in the room...that could have been quite painful.

“You okay?” Kurt asked, slightly concerned.

“Hit my knee,” Sebastian mumbled.

“That’s what you get for being an insufferable show off,” Kurt scolded, although his voice was gentle.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t love it,” Sebastian teased.

“That’s besides the---Sebastian!!” Kurt’s words were cut off with an embarrassingly loud squeal as Sebastian’s arms went a little slack and Kurt clung to him.

“I love that noise,” Sebastian said softly. “It’s so fucking cute.”

“I’m glad you get off on my panic,” Kurt said sarcastically.

“I think you’ve got it wrong, darling.”

“How’s that?”

“How about we go to the bedroom, and I’ll show you what I get off on?”

Kurt nodded, and let himself be carried, trusting Sebastian to get through the living room and down the hallway without anymore mishaps. Sebastian set him down gently on the bed and eyed him with a smile.

“So, I believe I owe you a blowjob,” Sebastian said, voice casual and eyes sparkling with amusement.

Kurt’s heart squeezed in his chest, even as he smiled. He was really, _really_ going to miss Sebastian. No one could make him smile so easily. “I think you do,” Kurt agreed.

“Then strip.”

Kurt shuddered. He could go a hundred years and never get sick of Sebastian ordering him around in bed.

“Yes sir,” Kurt said, trying for sarcasm. It came out breathy instead, and Sebastian made a noise deep in his chest, his eyes widening in surprise.

“You have no idea what that does to me.”

Kurt arched an eyebrow. “Kinky.”

Sebastian grinned, a predatory smile that made Kurt’s stomach flip. “You have _no_ idea.”

Kurt swallowed loudly, and his cheeks were flaming. “Well, you could always show me.”

Sebastian’s eyebrows shot up. “You’re full of surprises, you know that?”

Kurt shrugged. “If you wanted to…I might…we could try something?”

“Do you mean that?”

Kurt nodded. He never had any idea what he was doing, and Sebastian always made him feel amazing. “I trust you.” Kurt smiled. “I’d let you do anything to me. Yeah?”

Sebastian grinned. “All right. I’m going to go get something then. Be naked when I get back.”

All the air rushed out of Kurt’s lungs. “O-okay,” he breathed. He never got tired of Sebastian giving him orders whenever things got sexy.

Kurt was off the bed and hurrying out of his clothes by the time Sebastian disappeared into his closet. Kurt’s stomach swam nervously as he sat on the bed naked, fidgeting with his hands in his lap. The last time he’d told Sebastian to surprise him…he’d ended up getting fucked with his wrists pinned to the bed and a bite mark that he could still feel on the back of his neck. Just thinking about _that_ had Kurt starting to get hard. He’d been surprised by how much he’d enjoyed being pinned down under Sebastian’s weight, how hard he’d gotten off on Sebastian being a little less than gentle with him.

“Close your eyes. And keep them closed.” Kurt was startled by Sebastian’s voice and whipped his head around toward the closet. Sebastian was standing there naked and clearly hiding something behind his back.

“What are you going to do?” Kurt asked, trying to lean over and get a peek at what Sebastian was hiding.

Sebastian grinned. “Close your eyes. It’s a surprise. Given how much you liked the last time you gave me free reign to do anything…I think you’re _really_ going to do like this.”

Kurt obediently closed his eyes and listened to the crinkle of the carpet as Sebastian drew nearer. Something was dropped on the bed behind him, and he heard Sebastian fumbling around in the bedside table drawer for something that also got dropped on the bed. Kurt sucked in a breath when he felt the bed dip, and Sebastian’s body heat next to him.

“You can open your eyes now,” Sebastian said softly.

 

Kurt tried to turn and get a peek at whatever it was Sebastian had set down on the bed, but Sebastian gripped his chin and didn’t let him turn his head.

“No peeking,” Sebastian said firmly, eyebrow raising. “So…I kind of want to tie your wrists up behind your back.”

Oh.

_Oh._

“Oh,” was all that Kurt could get out. Sebastian’s face twitched a little, and Kurt rushed to say, “It’s okay. I just was surprised. I want to try it.”

Sebastian’s eyes scanned Kurt’s face for…something, but he didn’t seem to find it, and his face relaxed. “Okay. Promise you’ll tell me if it gets to be weird or anything?”

Kurt nodded, and took a deep breath as Sebastian reached behind him and plucked something from the pile of things and came back with a coil of dark blue rope. Kurt’s eyebrows arched up.

“So…you’ve done this before?” Kurt had been expecting Sebastian to come back with a scarf or a tie, not rope. It was too pretty to be anything but specifically made for the purpose of tying someone up.

Sebastian nodded. “Yeah. I’m pretty good with tying knots.” He winked at Kurt. “I’m not going to do anything overly complicated,” he said as he crawled behind Kurt. “In fact, you’d be able to wiggle your hands out of this without too much effort.”

Kurt sucked in a breath when Sebastian pulled his wrists together behind his back and looped the rope around them. It was much softer than Kurt had been anticipating. Sebastian finished the series of loops and knots he was working quite quickly. Sebastian wiggled two, then three fingers between the rope and Kurt’s skin, and then told Kurt to try to pull his wrists apart. For all that it was loose, it was very secure.

“Perfect,” Sebastian said. He shifted as though he was going to move off the bed, but something made him pause.

Then Kurt felt his thumb brush across the small bruise he’d left just under the back of Kurt’s neck a few day before. It was still tender, and Kurt’s shoulders hitched up reflexively, a small whimper slipping out.

“Does this hurt?”

“Yeah,” Kurt said. “But…I like it.”

Sebastian hummed thoughtfully, before pressing a kiss to the bruise and sliding off the bed. He knelt between Kurt’s legs and nudged his ankles apart. He put his hands on Kurt’s thighs, fingers caressing gently as he looked down at Kurt’s cock, which was already half hard. Seeing Sebastian between his legs and licking his lips like he couldn’t wait to wrap them around Kurt’s cock made Kurt shiver.

Sebastian grinned. “I swear you’re getting hard just from me looking at you. Guess you want it bad,” he teased.

Kurt smiled. “Maybe.”

He groaned low in his throat when Sebastian pushed his thighs apart roughly and started to kiss his way up the inside of his left thigh. He squirmed when Sebastian skipped over his cock in favor of moving back down to kiss up the other thigh. Sebastian’s hands were rubbing slowly up and down Kurt’s calves, so slow it was driving him insane.

“Come on,” Kurt begged. “Stop teasing me. Isn’t this supposed to be my reward for winning?”

Sebastian laughed quietly. “Maybe. But you’re all tied up and can’t do shit about it, so…”

Kurt groaned in frustration. “You should just suck my cock already.”

“God, I love it when you get bossy like that,” Sebastian murmured, a hand going up to wrap around one of Kurt’s hips, his thumb pressing hard into the bone.

Kurt whimpered when Sebastian simply went back to kissing and sucking at his thighs.

“Come _on,”_ Kurt begged. He kept trying to reach around to pull Sebastian close but he couldn’t. It was hot and frustrating at the same time. “ _Please.”_

Sebastian smiled at that and leaned in to lick a long stripe up Kurt’s cock. Kurt sighed happily when his cock with halfway in Sebastian’s mouth a moment later, and closed his eyes, enjoying the warm familiar feel of Sebastian sucking him off.

Although he dearly loved getting fucked…getting his cock sucked was possibly one of his favorite things. It was so warm, and wet and indulgent and Sebastian was so, _so_ good at it. He knew how to make Kurt come in a minute or how to suck him to make it last. Tonight, he was clearly out to make Kurt come fast, because it only took a few minutes before he was taking Kurt all the way down and sucking hard. Kurt was going to come _soon,_ and he wished that he could reach out and tangle his fingers in Sebastian’s hair, hold him down for just a second.

“I’m gonna come,” Kurt gasped out.

Sebastian’s eyes flicked up to his, his expression smug. Kurt could almost hear Sebastian’s voice in his ears saying ‘ _I know.’_ Kurt lost it when Sebastian took him all the way down and stayed there, swallowing hard around him. Kurt’s eyes slammed shut and he cried out—something that sound like Sebastian’s name echoing in the room as he shuddered through his orgasm.

Sebastian sat back on his heels, licking over his lips. “So I take it you liked that?”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “You’re so smug. You _know_ I did.”

Sebastian grinned. “Just checking.” He winked and stood up, going to sit on the bed behind Kurt as he quickly and easily undid the knots that had held Kurt’s wrists together. “You okay?’ he asked, rubbing at Kurt’s shoulders.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Kurt answered. “Sofine. That was really fun.”

Sebastian kissed the curve of his neck. “Does that mean you’d think it was fun if I blindfolded you and fucked you into the mattress?”

Kurt shuddered at that. He’d just come, and his cock was far too sensitive to get hard already. But it made a valiant effort, and he exhaled loudly. “I think,” he said after a moment, “that you’re trying to kill me with overwhelmingly sexy thoughts.”

Sebastian laughed, hugging Kurt from behind. “Never. Just want to make you come your brains out is all.”

Kurt leaned back into Sebastian’s embrace, moaning softly as Sebastian kept kissing his neck. Did he say it was too soon to get hard again? Because it seemed like his cock hadn’t quite gotten the message.

“Think you could go again?” Sebastian whispered into Kurt’s ear.

A full body shiver ran through Kurt. “What do you think?”

“I think you should actually let me blindfold you and fuck you into the mattress. If you want to that is.”

Kurt laughed at the tentativeness in Sebastian’s voice. “Of course I want to. I want to do anything that involves you. Especially if I get to come.”

Sebastian pinched lightly at Kurt’s skin. Kurt knew the pinch was meant to be playful, but he couldn’t stop himself from moaning at the touch. He was still so sensitive, still floating in the afterglow of his orgasm, and for some reason, the light pain had felt good.

“You liked that?” Sebastian whispered, nipping at Kurt’s earlobe.

“Y-yes,” Kurt said shakily. He really couldn’t explain why…but yeah. He _really_ liked it. “A lot.”

“Good to know,” Sebastian murmured. “Maybe that’s why you’re not shy about getting tied up and blindfolded. Makes me wonder what else I can get away with.”

“Anything you want,” Kurt said earnestly. “You always have the best ideas.”

Sebastian smiled against his shoulder, and pressed a kiss there. “Then…can I blindfold you now? Its just a sleep mask, nice and simple. You can easily take it off if you get uncomfortable.”

Kurt nodded. “Do it.”

Moments later, the mask was over his eyes and he couldn’t see. Every touch was a surprise, and even the journey from sitting on the bed to being on his back with Sebastian felt like something new. Not knowing what was going to happen made his stomach swirl in excited anticipation, which seemed to make everything feel just as overwhelmingly good as the first time Sebastian had touched him. It wasn’t long before Kurt was hard, squirming and desperate again. Sebastian was being even more of a tease than he’d been earlier, touching Kurt then pulling his hands away so Kurt didn’t know where he was going to go next. There was no pattern or reason to the touches, and occasionally Sebastian kissed him. The kisses were soft and light, and Kurt had barely responded by the time Sebastian was pulling away and moving on somewhere else.

“Sebastian…”

“Yes, dear?” There was affection, but also smugness and a hint of fondness in his voice. Kurt wanted to smile at him and kick him at the same time.

“You’re toying with me again,” Kurt complained.

A laugh bubbled out of Sebastian’s throat. Kurt didn’t understand what was amusing about that, because all Sebastian said when he asked what was so funny  was that Kurt’s choice of words was particularly appropriate. That was really no explanation at all, and Kurt clearly was missing something. He let it go, because Sebastian had gone for the lube and was working a finger into Kurt’s hole, and that was definitely more important than Sebastian’s strange sense of humor.

His eyebrows furrowed together when Sebastian pulled his finger out and didn’t try to add another one. Sebastian was reaching for something, and Kurt tensed when Sebastian’s elbow  dug just a little too hard into his thigh as Sebastian’s arm stretched across his body.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” Sebastian said softly. “Spread your legs and I’ll make it up to you.”

Kurt had no idea how Sebastian could go from being sweet to saying ‘spread your legs’ in the same breath, and it always left Kurt feeling so turned on that he was struck dumb. Maybe that was why he didn’t realize something that wasn’t Sebastian’s fingers or cock pressing against his hole until it was stretching at his rim, trying to get in. He clenched down on the strange intrusion. It felt fake, but smooth, not too big, but definitely enough to feel the stretch once Sebastian got it in. Kurt had a vague idea of what is was, but…

“What the hell is that?” he gasped, squirming and almost wanting to reach up and pull the blindfold off, just because he wanted to _see._

“A vibrator,”  Sebastian said, like it was the most everyday, normal thing to be talking about.

Kurt felt his whole body go hot. “Oh god. I didn’t even know you had— _oh fuck!”_ Kurt cursed as he felt the vibrations start to buzz against his asshole. “Holy shit,” he whispered.

There was a low chuckle from down the bed and Kurt didn’t even care that Sebastian was being a smug little shit again, because this felt _amazing._ Mind blowing _._ Actually mind-blowing because he couldn’t say anything that wasn’t ‘oh god’ or ‘more’ or curse words.  Kurt thought he’d get used to it, that it would stop being so overwhelming as Sebastian slid the vibrator inside of him, but it only got more intense, especially when the vibrator brushed against his prostate. He’d nearly screamed at that, because Sebastian had pressed the vibrator into it, deliberately massaging it.

Kurt was panting harsh and loud, mouth dry and slack open, because this was almost too much to deal with.

“You okay?” Sebastian’s voice was low and raspy.

“Don’t ask me dumb questions, just fuck me,” Kurt gasped out, not even caring about how harsh and desperate and _wrecked_ he sounded.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Sebastian murmured, a laugh in his voice. “Let’s see what you make of this then.”

 

Kurt wanted to ask what that meant, but his brain shorted out when the vibrator began buzzing harder inside of him. He let out a choked moan, body writhing on the bed.

“It’s got two more speeds,” Sebastian said casually.

“No, no, I seriously can’t, _oh god, oh god oh god,”_ Kurt chanted. The buzzing hadn’t gotten any faster, but it was now alternating in some random pattern he couldn’t pick up on.

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” Sebastian said, sympathetically patting Kurt’s thigh. “I fucking love it.”

It took Kurt a second to realize what that meant. “You…do this to yourself?”

“Yep; pretty often, too.”

The idea of Sebastian stretched out naked on the bed with this toy inside of him, fucking himself and moaning and writhing had Kurt on the edge in seconds. “Gonna come,” he groaned.

Sebastian grinned and turned the vibrator up higher. Kurt came with his mouth open in a silent scream, his body folding in on itself and writhing on the bed. Sebastian kept fucking him gently with the toy, until Kurt whined and squirmed away. Sebastian turned it off, and left it there for a moment before pulling it out and setting it on the bed. Then he crawled up and kissed Kurt. Kurt could hardly return the kiss—he was still floating and high off his orgasm, too out of breath to do more than let Sebastian do whatever he wanted and try to keep up.

“ _God,”_ Kurt moaned. “That was… _holy shit.”_ It was all he could say.

There was soft laughter, then a burst of bright light as Sebastian removed the blindfold. Kurt hadn’t even remembered it in the aftermath of his orgasm. He couldn’t believe he’d come that hard. He’d come with his cock untouched, and there were stripes of come all the way up his torso, some of them making it up to his collarbone.

“Can’t believe you came without me touching your cock,” Sebastian murmured.

“I’ve never done that before,” Kurt confessed. “I don’t think I’ve ever come that hard. I don’t know if I’m ever gonna be able to come again, really.”

“Oh, you _definitely_ can.”

Sebastian sounded so sure that it make Kurt shiver. He had the distinct feeling that Sebastian was at least going to try. But Kurt shook his head anyway. “I don’t know,” he said weakly. “I don’t know if my body could handle it.”

“You want me to prove to you that it can?”

“No. Yes. No. Maybe. _Fuck,”_ Kurt said, laughing.

“Why don’t you let me try?”

Kurt nodded and let Sebastian turn him on his side. He waited quietly, patiently while Sebastian rolled a condom down his cock and coated it in lube.

“Bet I can just slide straight into your fucked out little hole,” Sebastian murmured, sliding up behind Kurt and pressing his slick cock against Kurt’s ass. He rubbed himself against Kurt's ass, smearing the lube, making a mess of his skin.

"Sebastian...don't tease. I don’t think I could stand it."

Sebastian pressed a kiss into the curve of Kurt's neck, and slowly guided himself to Kurt's wet, open hole. Just like Sebastian had predicted, his cock went in smooth and easy. Kurt sighed happily and lost himself in the soft, soothing feeling of Sebastian's cock rocking gently inside of him. Sebastian kept sucking sweet kisses wherever he could reach--Kurt's shoulders, neck, and collarbone. They were gentle but went on so long that Kurt thought he'd have a number of bruises tomorrow to show for it.

"You think you can come again for me, baby?"

Kurt made a small unsure noise as one of Sebastian's hands slid down his body to his cock. He gasped when Sebastian wrapped his hand around it and started stroking--he hadn't even realized that he was hard again.

" _God_ ," Kurt sighed. "That's so fucking good."

"Yeah? It's not too much?"

"It is...but I like it," he whispered. His eyes closed, breath coming out in harsh pants as Sebastian worked him harder.

"You're so fucking hot." Sebastian's breath was hot on Kurt's neck as he rolled his hips, fucking deeper into Kurt's ass. "Just fucking take it like this. Want you to come on my cock. You think you can do that for me, sweetheart?"

Kurt hadn't realized he was so close until he was coming almost dry, cock twitching desperately in Sebastian's hand as he cried out. He couldn't stop trembling and squirming, moaning helplessly as Sebastian kept fucking him.

"Shh, baby. I know its a lot, you're doing so good, just a little more."

Kurt exhaled softly and surrendered, his body melting into Sebastian's body as he trembled and moaned. His body couldn't quite come down, from his orgasm, not with the way Sebastian was licking and kissing at the spot that always made him shiver. When he did, his ass clenched around Sebastian's cock. Sebastian's hold tightened and he grunted into Kurt's ear as he buried his cock deep and shuddered through his orgasm.

Their breathing synced up as they came down from their orgasms. Kurt smiled--it was only natural that they'd breathe in time together, but it always felt like such a sweet thing to him. Sebastian pulled out of him a moment later and Kurt flopped on to his back.

"You okay?" Sebastian asked, his voice husky soft.

Kurt nodded. "Just sleepy," he murmured. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to stay awake for much longer.

Sebastian smiled. "Sex with me will do that to a man."

Kurt huffed out a laugh. "You're so silly. Sometimes I forget you're thirty-one,” he said, echoing his thoughts from earlier.

Sebastian's smile only widened. "I'll take that as a compliment."

Kurt rolled his eyes and turned on to his side so he could see Sebastian better. His eyes fell on the vibrator, lying forgotten near Sebastian's calf. A thought occurred to him, and he began to giggle uncontrollably. It wasn’t really _that_ funny, but his mind was so fuzzy and sexed out that it seemed like the greatest thought he’d ever had.

“You’re an _idiot,”_ Kurt gasped out, pressing a hand to his belly as he curled up in on himself, laughing harder than he had in ages.

Sebastian’s eyebrows shot up. “Care to share the joke with the rest of the class, Mr. Hummel?”

“Remember when you laughed at me for saying that you were ‘toying’ with me?”

Sebastian smiled. “Oh. That. Well, it _was_ a funny choice of words, all things considered.”

Kurt nodded his agreement, still giggling a little. “Yeah. But it was still dumb.”

“It’s all part of the charm,” Sebastian said lightly, reaching out and rubbing his thumb over Kurt’s shoulder.

“It really, really is,” Kurt said softly. He sank into the bed, eyes closing as Sebastian got off the bed and cleaned them up. It felt nice to be taken care of, and he let himself float, barely registering the sounds of the water running in the bathroom, of doors closing and lights being turn off. He hummed happily when the bed dipped under Sebastian's weight and he was gathered into Sebastian's arms.

He loved it when Sebastian held him like this, gently cuddling him and talking about nothing until they fell asleep. Kurt was too sleepy, too worn out to really talk tonight. He tried to tell Sebastian that, but his brain was too fuzzy. He heard Sebastian say something, but it didn't make sense, and before he could ask what it was, he slipped under.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, that's it! As you can see, this is listed as part of a series! I may write a sequel, but at the very least, I'll be writing stories about their future, and maybe even a few from Sebastian's perspective. I loved writing this fic, and I definitely have so much to say about this version of Kurtbastian. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3

 

Kurt drove home in a daze the next morning. It had actually happened. Sebastian was gone.

Forever.

Gone and smiling, and not particularly upset. Promising to call, even though Kurt knew he wouldn’t. Why would Sebastian even _say_ something like that? There wouldn’t be a point. It would just drag things out longer, make it even harder to let go.

Worst of all, they hadn’t really had much of a chance to say goodbye--Kurt had passed out promptly after sex, and Sebastian had been a bit of a hurry to take care of some business before his flight left in the afternoon. Sebastian hadn’t even really said goodbye, he’d just pulled Kurt in for a quick kiss and walked him out to his car, like it was any other morning and they’d be seeing each other soon. Sebastian’s departure had been hard enough to bear, but the fact that Sebastian hadn’t really seemed to care tore at Kurt.

He’d thought that Sebastian had at least liked him a little, that they’d at least become friends, but it was clear from how easy it was for Sebastian to leave that none of it had mattered to him. If Sebastian had at least seemed a little sad, maybe this wouldn’t hurt so much, maybe he would have been all right.

But the way he crawled into bed the second he got home and cried until he couldn’t breathe told Kurt everything he needed to know.

He wasn’t all right and this wasn’t okay. He needed to let go of Sebastian, and he felt like he’d never be able to.

But what choice did he have?

Anything else would be emotional suicide, but he didn’t know how to fall out of love. He hadn’t been able to keep himself from falling in love, so how in the hell was he supposed to stop loving someone?

He was heartbroken, yet he also felt incredibly stupid. He’d fallen in love, fallen _hard_ for someone who hadn’t really cared when it was all said and done. Sebastian had said he cared--he’d lied straight to Kurt’s face. Kurt had agreed to their original agreement, the one where they were going to have a ton of casual sex, without expectation of friendship. Involving Kurt’s feelings hadn’t been necessary. There was no way Sebastian didn’t know how Kurt felt--he’d been horribly obvious about it. Sebastian had seen his love and used it, led him on.

That hurt more than the fact that Sebastian was gone. He’d thought that he’d cried all that he could for one afternoon, but the painful knowledge that Sebastian has used him and lied to him had him sobbing so hard his whole body ached with it. His chest hurt, his throat was sore, and his head was throbbing.

When it was over, Kurt looked over at the clock on the wall and realized that he was going to be very late for work if he didn’t leave soon. He couldn’t imagine getting out of bed right now, much less getting out of bed _and_  going to work right now. In addition to having to get out of bed, work would require smiling and interacting with people and pretending that he wasn’t completely and totally heartbroken. He didn’t even think before he picked up the phone and called in sick with the flu. That way he wouldn’t have to come in for a few days. His voice was raw and hoarse from crying, so he didn’t have to try too hard to be convincing.

Once that was done, he turned his phone off, and tossed it on the bedside table. There was a very large part of Kurt that wanted to lay in bed and stare at the ceiling and cry for the next few days. He wanted to just lay here and shut down and stay in his room forever. The thought of locking himself away with his pain was tempting, but he forced himself to go to the kitchen. It was 11 o’clock, and he still hadn’t eaten anything. He wasn’t particularly hungry, but he knew that he’d feel even worse if he didn’t at least try to take care of himself. Toast, tea and showering was all he managed to accomplish for the rest of the day. He spent the day on the couch, flipping through channels, napping and snacking. He knew it was kind of pathetic, but he was allowed to do this for one day.

 

* * *

 

 

One day turned into three. His father attempted to figure out what was going on multiple times, but Kurt only met his inquiries with a raised eyebrow, or a withering glare if the eyebrow didn’t do the trick. He also hadn’t turned his phone back on.

He promised himself that if Sebastian did call, he wouldn’t pick up. He also knew that if Sebastian called, he wouldn’t have the strength not to pick up. So the phone had to go off, for the sake of his sanity. He couldn’t decide what would be worse--Sebastian not calling (proving that none of it had meant anything), or having to see the calls and ignore them. He couldn’t handle it either way, so having the phone off and not knowing was the least painful option.  Part of him wanted to check his phone in spite of that because he was already in so much pain that he didn’t think a little more would make a difference, though.

Kurt felt like an idiot for how hard he was taking Sebastian’s absence, for how difficult it was for him to just grow up and deal with it. People had casual relationships all the time, and he was the one that had ruined it with feelings. It was his fault he felt this way.

At the same time...he felt like the only thing that could have stopped this was if he’d never agreed to Sebastian’s proposition. It hadn’t been about anything but sex, and an opportunity to get something he wanted from someone better than he could have hoped for. Kurt had said yes because he knew that he’d been lucky as hell to have the chance to learn about sex from someone who clearly knew what they were doing.

Tt had turned into so much more, though. If Kurt really thought about it, he’d fallen in love with Sebastian after only a few dates. He hadn’t realized it was so easy _to_ fall in love or that it could happen so fast. He’d already been there before he’d realized it was a possibility. He should have ended it there, but he’d been selfish, greedy, starved for touch and affection, and Sebastian had been too great a temptation to resist.

Kurt knew he was being too hard on himself, but he just felt so _stupid._

 

* * *

 

 

Kurt was surprised when a bouquet of red and white roses arrived the next day. His first instinct had been to throw them out. He’d gotten as far as the trashcan in the garage before he hesitated and brought them up to his room. They were gorgeous, and it seemed wrong to throw something that lovely out. A thick card accompanied the flowers, and he thought that perhaps he should throw that out, but part of him wanted to know what in the hell Sebastian could possibly have to say to him.

But not today. Today all he could do was slide it between the pages of his favorite book and try to forget it was there.

 

* * *

 

As Kurt folded some laundry the next day, he couldn’t stop staring at the damn flowers. It was the first day he’d woken up and felt like doing something that wasn’t eating, watching movies, or crying, and the sight of the roses made his chest tight.

He couldn’t take it anymore. He was going to have an okay day, and a fucking bouquet of roses wasn’t going to take that from him. He felt no remorse about taking them to the garage and dumping them into the trashcan. He took a deep breath, and felt like it was easier than it had been a few moments ago. Throwing the flowers away had actually made Kurt feel a little better.

An idea struck him, and he searched the garage for an empyy box. He found one, and brought it up to his room, setting it in front of the closet. In it, he put every thing Sebastian had ever bought him. He had to take it all out and refold it meticulously to get it all in the box, and he shoved it into the back of his closet. While he was in his closet, he decided to reorganize everything by color. That managed to keep him busy until mid-afternoon. He went down to the kitchen to see what he could put together for a late lunch, and frowned when he looked in the refrigerator.

It was pathetically empty, which was completely his fault. He usually did the grocery shopping, but he hadn’t felt like it. He didn’t feel like doing it now, but getting out of the house might be a good idea, and they really didn’t have anything. He forced himself to make do with the last banana in the fruit bowl and the last piece of bread as lunch, and took a quick shower. His rigorous cleaning stint had gotten him all sweaty, and even though it didn’t matter, he kind of hated going out when he was dirty.

Twenty minutes later, he was ready to go, dressed comfortable in jeans and an old sweater. He grabbed his coat, buttoned it up and opened the door. He gasped in surprise when he saw a person standing just in front of the door, hand raised and ready to press the doorbell.

Kurt froze, then backed into the house and shut the door in Sebastian’s shocked face.

 

* * *

 

 

He couldn’t believe this was actually happening. Hadn’t Kurt made it clear that he didn’t want anything to do with Sebastian after what he’d done?

Kurt ignored the knocking on the door, Sebastian’s muffled pleas through the door, and paced around the house, muttering to himself. He took a moment to be surprised that his first instinct was to be angry, not sad. He’d spent three days picking himself off the floor and crying almost constantly, and it was completely and totally, 100% Sebastian’s fault. He’d never felt more like shit in his entire life, and given his high school experiences, that was _really_ saying something. Part of him wanted to yank the door open and give Sebastian a piece of his mind, but he wasn’t sure if he could keep properly angry if they were face to face.

Sebastian had this way of making Kurt smile and melt no matter the situation, and Kurt wasn’t sure his anger was strong enough to resist that. Especially not with Sebastian looking so pathetic. It had only been a moment, but Kurt had noticed the beanie, the hoodie, the jeans, and the trainers on Sebastian’s feet. He’d never seen Sebastian so dressed down before. He’d never seen his face look so sad or shocked either.

That just made him angry all over again. What right did Sebastian have to be upset when he was the one who didn’t care? How _dare_ he be upset about anything when he was that one that had left someone heartbroken? It took all of Kurt’s willpower not to go and check if Sebastian was still around so he could yell at him, and maybe give him a smack or two.

There was a noise outside the door, and Kurt rolled his eyes. If Sebastian wasn’t going to leave, then _fine,_ Kurt was going to give him a piece of his mind, damn it. He strode to the door, unlocked it and wrenched it open.

“Why in the _hell_ are you still here? I’m not talking to you ever again, so just--oh dear god,” Kurt’s angry yelling trailed off into a horrified whisper.

HIs father was standing outside the door, hands out in front of him, eyebrows raised. “Down, tiger.”

Kurt blushed, and was about to apologize when he realized that Sebastian was still standing on the porch, although he was hanging back off to the side.

“So...I met Sebastian,” his dad said. “I think you should talk to him.”

A cold shock ran through his body. “You _talked_ to him? And you’re on _his_ side?!” Kurt felt betrayed. “I don’t know what--”

“Kurt,” Burt said warningly. “You know I’m always on your side. I also know _you._ And it seems like you two need to have a chat.”

“Thank you for your input, but no thanks,” Kurt hissed. “Are you coming in, or not?”

Burt sighed and tossed a sympathetic look over his shoulder. “He’ll come around,” he said.

Kurt wanted to scream. This was not happening. His father had _not_ had a conversation with his 31 year old ex-lover and was _not_ attempting to meddle. He took a deep breath and allowed his father to push past him into the house. Then he turned to look at Sebastian, who was staring at him hopefully. He took a small, step forward, but stopped when Kurt glared at him, eyes narrowed, angry slits.

“Leave,” Kurt hissed. “And don’t come back. I don’t know what right you think you have to be here, but I don’t want to talk to you. Goodbye.” If words were knives, Kurt was pretty sure that Sebastian would be _bleeding,_ and that thought gave an immense sense of satisfaction.

“Kurt, please--”

Kurt didn’t stick around to hear the rest of what Sebastian was trying to say, and shut the door in his face for the second time that evening. Along with the shock, there was hurt, and the smallest hint of anger on Sebastian’s face.

When he turned, Kurt was surprised to see that his father was leaning against the couch, and had clearly been standing there the whole time.

“What?!” Kurt snapped.

“Don’t you take that tone with me,” his father said in the voice that always made him back down when he was younger.

But Kurt was too angry to back down to anyone right now. “How _dare_ you get in the middle of this? You said I was my own man but you’re sitting here meddling in _my_ life--”

“Kurt.” His father’s voice was so sharp that Kurt fell silent. “I talked to him mostly because I came home to a Porsche in the driveway and a grown man sitting on my porch with tears in his eyes. Obviously, I had to investigate that.”

Sebastian had been crying? Over what? None of this was making a bit of damn sense. “What did he say to you?” Kurt said softly.

Burt sighed, and looked down; it was obvious to Kurt that his father was trying to choose his words carefully. “He told me something really important that I don’t think you know. But I can’t tell you that for him. That’s why I think you need to talk to him. I’m not trying to meddle, Kurt. I just think you need to hear him out before you kick him off the porch, okay?”

Kurt shrugged and sank down onto the couch, and buried his face in his hands. “None of this makes any sense, Dad.” He sighed when his dad put a warm hand on his shoulder. 

“That’s why you need to talk to him. And even if you won’t, I’m inviting him in because from what I understand the poor bastard’s been waiting out there for something like an hour, and it’s cold as hell.”

Kurt felt a surge of worry. “An hour?” he whispered. 

“And I don’t think he’s going anywhere ‘til you talk to him,” his father said softly. “You can do whatever you want, but I’m letting him in.”

“It’s your house,” Kurt said dully, turning and heading for the stairs that led down to his room.

He ignored his father’s voice, then Sebastian’s, and tried not to listen to the sounds of them talking softly above him as he curled up on the bed. The front door opened and closed again, and he let out a sad sigh. It had taken all of his strength to not go see what it was that had his dad so convinced that Sebastian was worth talking to. He was sure it was just some pretty lie--Sebastian was obviously good at that. 

A knock sounded on the door, and Kurt knew his dad would want to talk again. Normally he’d ignore it or tell him to go away, but he knew his dad would only keep trying.

“Come in,” he called, his voice tired and weak.

To his great surprise, Sebastian stood at the door, looking at him nervously. Kurt shot straight up.

“What are you...where is my dad?”

“He went to the store, as I understand.”

“Oh.” Kurt really want to kick him out again, but he felt like Sebastian just wasn’t going to give up until Kurt talked to him.  “Why are you _doing_ this to me, Sebastian?”

“You think I’m doing something to _you?”_ Sebastian’s voice was tinged with anger, and Kurt felt his own rising again.

He was standing up before he even realized it, fists clenched in rage. “Yes, Sebastian. You _lied_ to me. You’re dragging this out, and I don’t know why. Haven’t you hurt me enough? You made me think you cared about me and you just left like it was _nothing.”_ Kurt took a deep breath, and he was trying not to cry, trying not to say what it was that hurt him the most, but it came out anyway. “Like **I** was nothing,” he whispered, his voice trembling.

Sebastian stared at him, lips parted in shock. “Is that...God, tell me you don’t really believe that.”

Kurt looked at him hard, chest tight with pain and eyes wet with tears. “How could I not? You didn’t even seem to care that you weren’t going to see me again when you left. I’m just...I was just...what you used to occupy your time while you were stuck here.”

Fuck. He was crying. He was trembling and there were tears on his face and he was so fucking mad at himself right now.

“ _No,”_ Sebastian said, so intensely that it almost felt like he was shouting.

“No?!” Kurt echoed, and he actually _was_ shouting through his tears. “What in the _hell_ do you have to be upset about? Why are you even here?”

“Because I love you, you _idiot!”_ Sebastian screamed, his voice seeming to echo against the walls.

Kurt’s mouth fell open in shock. He didn’t quite believe what he’d heard. “Oh,” he said softly, feeling the anger starting to seep out of him. “You love me?”

“God _damn_ it, Kurt. Yes. I fucking love you and I thought something had happened to you or that you were _dead._ I fucking cancelled everything and left because I couldn’t stand the thought of you being hurt and me not knowing it. I had to know you were okay. _”_

Sebastian sounded close to tears now, and Kurt wanted to go to him and comfort him, but he felt too shaky to do more than sink down on the bed.

“You love _me_ ,” he repeated. It just didn’t make sense, but Sebastian had said it twice.

“Yeah,” Sebastian said tiredly. “I love you.”

“This is actually happening, isn’t it?” Kurt whispered. “You’re actually here in my bedroom in Lima and you’re telling me that you _love_ me?”

Sebastian was in front of him in three quick strides, then sinking to his knees in front of Kurt. “I’m right here, Kurt. I’m right here, and I love you and...you didn’t read the letter I sent with the flowers, did you?”

Kurt shook his head. He wondered how much pain he might have saved both of them if he had.

“Do you still have it?”

Kurt nodded. “I just couldn’t throw it out. I wanted to, though.”

Sebastian sighed in relief, and sat back on his heels. “I’m glad you didn’t. I _really_ want you to read it someday.”

“I can go get it, if you like,” Kurt said softly. His eyes flickered to the bookshelf where it lay tucked between the pages of _Pride and Prejudice._

“No. I’ll just sum it up for you, if that’s all right?”

“I suppose that would be okay.” Kurt’s voice sounded strange to his own ears, but everything was strange right now. He felt like he’d been living in another world for weeks and that nothing he thought was true was real.

Kurt started when he Sebastian took one of his hands and squeezed it gently.

Sebastian took a deep breath before he spoke. “Basically...the letter said that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Kurt blurted.

Sebastian arched an eyebrow. “I’m trying to declare my love for you. Can you, like, let me?”

Kurt blushed and nodded. “I’m sorry; it’s just all so hard to believe,” he whispered.

Sebastian just smiled gently at him. “Well, believe me when I tell you that everything was pretty much shit before I met you. Then we met and I couldn’t stay away from you, couldn’t keep from falling in love with you. And I love you. I love you more than I’ve loved anyone. _Ever_.”

Kurt stared at Sebastian, looking for something in his eyes that would make this all make sense. But all he saw in Sebastian’s eyes was warmth, sincerity, desperate hope, and what he was starting to realize was love.

“Please say something,” Sebastian whispered, his voice small and vulnerable. He ducked his head down like he was scared to look at Kurt right now and Kurt felt a warm rush of affection spread through him.

Kurt squeezed Sebastian’s hand in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. “I love you, too.”

Sebastian’s head whipped up. “You do?”

Kurt nodded, a small smile started to spread on his face. “I really, really do.”

Sebastian deflated, and rested his head on Kurt’s thigh. Kurt ran his fingers over Sebastian’s hair, and they sat there for a long moment, just letting everything sink in. They loved each other. There was so much to talk about, so much that needed to be worked out and cleared up, but they loved each other, and it was finally out there.

“You know...we’re really fucking stupid,” Kurt said after a moment.

Sebastian lifted his head, a wide grin splitting his face. “We really, really are,” he agreed.

They shared a laugh, then a kiss, and then Kurt found himself pressed to the bed, and they were kissing so much that neither of them could really breathe. But neither cared.

“I love you,” Kurt breathed between kisses.

They kept saying it, and it was _silly,_ but Kurt didn’t care. He’d never get over Sebastian looking at him like he was the most precious, wonderful thing in the world and telling Kurt that he loved him. He’d never get enough of saying ‘I love you’ and making someone else’s face light up like that.

“I was so scared I was never gonna have this again,” Sebastian whispered into his neck.

“Me too. Thought you were gone forever.”

Sebastian pulled away and flopped down onto his back. Kurt rolled on to his belly and cuddled up next to him. “Is something wrong?” he asked.

Sebastian’s chest rumbled as he laughed. “We have a _lot_ to work out. But...promise me we will. I don’t think I can lose you twice.”

“You’re not,” Kurt said fiercely. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Neither am I,” Sebastian echoed. He hesitated, then, “Well, that’s not strictly true. I...I _do_ have to go back to New York, and soon.”

“Oh," Kurt said, his voice dull. “Right. You kind of do, don’t you? I don’t want you to. I know you have to, though. I’ll miss you so much.”

“You don’t have to miss me,” Sebastian said quietly. “You could come with me.”

 Kurt hesitated before answering. “I want to, but...”

 “But what?”

 Kurt fidgeted. “There’s...I don’t have enough money saved up. And I never actually applied to school. I just sort of let you assume that.”

 Sebastian sighed heavily and pushed gently at Kurt’s shoulders, moving him off so they could sit up and look each other. “I wanna be mad at you for that, but I just can’t be right now.”

 “Every time you asked me what I was thinking about and I said it was school or New York...it was you. It was you and how much I was in love with you.” Kurt hoped that was explanation enough, because he didn’t have it in him to explain anything properly.

 “Why didn’t you say anything?” Sebastian grabbed one of Kurt’s hands and held it between both of his own.

 “I was scared,” Kurt admitted. “I didn’t think you could love me back. Because I’m--”

 “Don’t,” Sebastian said harshly. “You’re amazing, and you’re who I love. That’s all I really care about.”

 “God,” Kurt sighed, eyes sliding shut for a moment. “I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you saying that.”

 “I’ll tell you every day,” Sebastian promised. “I’ll give you everything I have, anything and everything you want. Just come back with me and be with me and love me.”

Sebastian’s voice was so small, and Kurt couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Sebastian was all but begging him, and Kurt was awed by it. He believed that Sebastian loved him, how could he not after all they’d said today, but he was struck by how _much_ Sebastian seemed to love him. He was amazed and touched by how easily and how much Sebastian was willing to humble himself to show Kurt that he loved him. Even if Kurt had wanted to, he didn’t think he could say no to that.

“Okay,” Kurt said softly. “I’ll come with you. On one condition.”

“Anything,” Sebastian said earnestly.

Kurt smiled as he spoke. “Take me out to dinner? I’m starving.”

Sebastian threw his head back and laughed, and Kurt joined in a moment later.

There was so much more that needed to be worked out and so much they needed to tell each other. It could wait, though, because Kurt had the feeling that they were going to have a very, _very_ long time to figure it all out.

 

  
  



End file.
